text | 001 - Emphatic Welcome

[spaghettimonster]

Name: Papyrus | Username: CoolSkeleton95
Date: Aguril 1st
Format: Text

SO YOU'RE IN A NEW WORLD, LOOKING AT A WATCH,
WONDERING WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF...
WELL!
THE FIRST THING YOU CAN DO, IS READ THIS WELCOME MESSAGE:

HELLO!!!
I HEARD THERE'S MORE PEOPLE POPPING OUT OF MIRRORS TODAY,
AND MAYBE THAT MEANS YOU.
IF IT DOES, WELCOME TO AEFENGLOM!
A HOME AWAY FROM HOME.

YOU MIGHT HEAR SOME DOOM AND GLOOM FROM PEOPLE, ABOUT THE CWYLD, AND THE FULL MOONS...
BUT, ONLY SOME OF IT IS TRUE.
AND THOSE PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS LIKE THE COLOR OF THE SKY, SO WHAT DO THEY KNOW ANYWAY.
THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY WORKING HARD TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE AND HAPPY.
SO, DO YOUR BEST NOT TO WORRY TOO MUCH, AND LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
IF YOU'RE A WITCH, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO ALL KINDS OF MAGIC.
AND IF YOU'RE A MONSTER, THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE MOONS WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU!
AND I GUESS SOME MONSTERS HAVE A KIND OF MAGIC TOO? BUT IT'S NOT -MAGIC- MAGIC.
WHATEVER!!
THE IMPORTANT THING IS, YOU NOW FEEL WELCOMED.
YOU'RE WELCOME!

[If anyone doesn't want to wade through the capslock, let me know and I can drop it when tagging you.]

Comments

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[proficience]

The moons will be important to me, huh? That's what I was beginning to wonder.

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[spaghettimonster]

IT'S TRUE...
I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE THAT THE MOONS ARE IMPORTANT.
MONSTERS GET A LITTLE BIGGER, HAIRIER, AND MONSTERIER...
AND MAYBE A LITTLE CONFUSED.

[proficience]

Interesting.

So, hypothetically speaking, if I were a monster, I should avoid the moonlight?

[spaghettimonster]

WELL... I WAS INSIDE, AND THAT DIDN'T SEEM TO STOP IT.

BUT!! I WAS IN A ROOM WITH A WINDOW!! EVEN IF I WASN'T IN THE MOONLIGHT ITSELF, MAYBE IT REFLECTED AT ME.

[proficience]

What monster are you, if I may ask?

[spaghettimonster]

I HAPPEN TO BE A SKELETON!

BUT, THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF MONSTER, HERE, THAT YOU MEAN...
I THINK I'M WHAT THEY CALL A TURNSKIN.

[proficience]

I have so many questions for you, then!

I'll start by asking what type of turnskin you are, since I've heard that there are quite a few.

[spaghettimonster]

SOMETHING... CANINE.
I DON'T REMEMBER THE FULL MOON WELL ENOUGH.
BUT I HAVE REDDISH FUR, AND EARS, IN DREAMS.

[proficience]

Have you found that you prefer that form to the skeleton one, by chance?

[spaghettimonster]

OF COURSE NOT!
HAVING LOTS OF FUR ON TOP OF BONES IS STRANGE.
I MEAN, I KNOW I SHOULD GET USED TO IT... AND I'M WORKING ON IT.
BUT I LIKE MYSELF, AND MY BONES, AS THEY ARE.

[proficience]

Can skeletons eat? I'm going to assume that in your new form, you'll have to eat something, right?

[spaghettimonster]

[It takes a minute for Papyrus to reply, as he's busy making faces at his reflection in the watch. His new fullmoon form sure wanted to eat, from what he can remember... but his day-to-day form is barely changed. Teeth, claws, spooky eyes, a little bit of something growing on his spine.]

YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT WRONG...
I WAS PRETTY HUNGRY AND TIRED, THE LATEST FULL MOON.
THAT'S MOST OF WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT IT.
BUT... BUT I ALREADY RECOGNIZE THE FEELING OF HUNGER, BECAUSE I ALREADY EAT!
I'M MY OWN SKELETON, ALIVE AS I AM, NOT SOME REANIMATED HUMAN SKELETON.
NO NECROMANCY HERE.

[proficience]

So each full moon, there are further changes? I'm to expect more changes to happen with my body, I assume?

Interesting.

Exciting, too!

[spaghettimonster]

EXCITING SURE IS A WORD FOR IT.
SO EXCITING I COULD SCREAM, SOMETIMES!
OR HOWL, WHEN THE MOONS ARE FULL.

BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE THE GIST OF IT.
WE WEREN'T BORN HERE, SO WE DIDN'T BECOME MONSTERS THE NATURAL WAY, AND WE'RE PLAYING CATCH-UP NOW.

IT GOES FASTER AROUND THE FULL MOON...
AND I THINK IT SPED UP WHEN I LEFT THE CITY, TOO.
IF YOU CAN'T BEAR TO WAIT UNTIL THE FULL MOON, TRY GOING ON ONE OF THE SAFER EXPEDITIONS.

[proficience]

The expeditions speed up the changes?

I've never been the most patient man, so maybe I'll keep an eye out for those. Though, I may want to delay what's happening with me just so I can keep eating crab. I think that after a while, I'll only be able to drink blood. Many stories and movies about vampires have led me to believe that, anyway.

[spaghettimonster]

I SUSPECT THEY DO.
OR MAYBE JUST HALLUCINATORY SPIDER BITES DO...

THAT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE A SOUND IDEA, BUT DON'T COUNT OUT YOUR SEAFOOD LOVE SO QUICKLY.
AFTER ALL, YOU SHOULD GO AND CHECK: DO CRABS HAVE BLOOD?

[proficience]

Crabs are living animals, so yes, they have blood. But considering my size, to be sufficiently fed, I'd have to consume the blood of fifty crabs, at least!

And I wouldn't be able to enjoy the taste of their actual meat, so there's no point in bothering. I've thought of this already.

[spaghettimonster]

OH NO! ARE YOU SURE??
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT VAMPIRES OR WHAT THEY NEED TO EAT...
OR WHY THE MEAT WOULDN'T TASTE ANY GOOD...
BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF BLOOD.

CAN YOU USE BLOOD AS A SAUCE?
PEOPLE USE KETCHUP FOR FAKE BLOOD ALL THE TIME.
AND BY PEOPLE, I MEAN MY BROTHER.
TRY DRENCHING A BURGER IN BLOOD AND SEE HOW IT TASTES.

[proficience]

[He'd thought of using it as a sauce on something, but --

It doesn't really seem like the best idea.]

What if the burger tastes terrible, so much so that the blood can't even mask it? What then? I'll be heartbroken AND my time would have been wasted!