firewalled: (Time to raise a flag for the ceasefire)
Rich Goranski ([personal profile] firewalled) wrote in [community profile] aefenglom 2019-09-23 03:19 pm (UTC)

It freaks... a lot of people out, though. When I talk about something like that. I mean, how do you tell a friend that you want to die? Or...

[He squeezes her hand, sighs a bit shakily.]

When I did it... when I burned myself, I thought that was it. I thought that I would die. People would think I was some sort of martyr... or just think I was crazy. Didn't really care.

When I woke up in the hospital, I was... scared. More scared than I was of dying, because this meant that I had to actually work to figure out who I was, and to make up for all the things I used to be when I was SQUIPped.

The only thing I could really think about myself was that... that I was too chicken shit to actually off myself the right way.

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