firewalled: (Time to raise a flag for the ceasefire)
Rich Goranski ([personal profile] firewalled) wrote in [community profile] aefenglom 2019-09-27 11:18 pm (UTC)

I wasn't... saying you didn't believe I was bright or smart. I... ugh. You're making this hard.

[It's so hard to face himself... it's why he keeps pretending everything since the SQUIP has been fixed, so he doesn't have to go pick at his scars and find out what's really still festering underneath them.]

It's complicated. I don't know if I was this bad... but I didn't think there was a lot about my life that was worth sticking around for. Only thing I was good for was taking grief out of. I was a good punching bag. Never said a word.

...Always thought that was the problem I was too weak to really make my life better. Thought if I could have just said something, I wouldn't be in the mess I was.

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