Rich Goranski (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
firewalled) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
aefenglom2019-09-01 02:55 pm
firewalled) wrote in aefenglom2019-09-01 02:55 pm
001 | Video
Name: Rich Goranski
Date: September 2
Format: Video
[The face that fills the screen is notable for a lot of reasons. For those who haven't met Rich, the harsh red scars covering his face, neck, and shoulders are certainly different. Scales are starting to pepper the skin like freckles, but it still doesn't do much to hide the damage. Nor does it distract from how emotional Rich looks. As much as he tries to keep his expression even, there's tension in his jaw, a slight furrow in his brow, and his eyes look slightly red.
He offers a weak smile and a wave to the camera, before taking a deep breath in and out. Apparently this is going to be difficult for him.]
Hey everyone. If you don't know me, I'm Rich Goranski. I got here last month, so... yeah. Anyways, I'm not here to break the ice or anything. I... need to tell everyone about some stuff, and I've been kind of meaning to do this for days and I just didn't know how. Anyways. I just wanted to warn you.
There's this guy you might have met. Looks like some handsome Japanese model, and he's got two different coloured eyes? I can send a picture if you don't know what I'm talking about. He's called the SQUIP. Or well, I don't know if that's what it calls itself here. It fucking introduced itself as Gregward to me, but... I think that's because we have a history. We're from the same place, and if what he did to me and my friends is any indication, he's probably going to really hurt someone here. He's already got his claws in some people and I just... don't want anyone else to go through that.
[He takes a moment to nibble on his lip and then look back at the camera, as if he's found some new source of bravery.]
Back home, the SQUIP -uh, Super Quantum Unit Intel... Processor- [He counts them off on his fingers as he attempts to remember the acronym.] It wasn't human. It was actually this pill sized supercomputer that you could take? It'd get up into your head and implant in your brain and then it was... basically supposed to help make you cooler. Or at least, that's what they said when I bought one. I got one back as a freshman and I... I mean, I guess it's kind of obvious that it fucked me up.
It doesn't really have any concerns about hurting people to get what it wants. It'd electrocute me if I didn't do or say the right thing. It put me on this really messed up work out plan and I built up way too much muscle way too quickly. I've got a bunch of stretch marks to prove it. And if you argued with it long enough, it wasn't afraid to just... take over your whole body. The last few months I had the thing, I wasn't even ever myself anymore... I just had to watch myself do all this shit that I'd never, ever want to do. Like selling them to other kids.
And it could get in your head. It would take away senses or give you weird hallucinations to make sure you didn't think about resisting. A friend of mine... Jeremy, he actually had his best friend erased from his vision so he couldn't even see him? I think he called it optic nerve blocking.
It finds other ways to manipulate you too. It's really charming at first, and it knows how to find and pick at every little insecurity you have. It'll use anything. Any memory, any good thought... I uh. When it wanted me to listen, it would take on the appearance of my mom. I hadn't seen her since I was little and I didn't want to lose that again. Even if she was saying things she'd never say... I couldn't make her hurt again.
[His voice cracks on the last few words, and he tries to cover it up by clearing his throat, taking a deep breath again.]
Anyways, its main goal wasn't actually to help us, if that wasn't obvious. It made me stock up on a bunch of the pills to try to slip them into everyone's drinks. It got Jeremy on board when I... uh, ducked out, to put it nicely.
It just wanted to spread to as many people as possible. It was trying to make this like, hivemind sort of thing. Called it a social network. Where no one had to hurt anymore. But it... it fucked with people until they don't know who they are anymore. Jeremy's SQUIP - I think that's the one that's here right now - it synced with me, and it made me go from being annoyed by Jeremy to just completely being his best friend. I couldn't think anything negative about him. And it did the same to a bunch of other people. It erased everything about them... practically made them zombies. I'm lucky there was someone who knew how to get rid of them. I... eventually tried burning mine out, but it didn't go as planned.
Anyways, the important thing is that the SQUIP is dangerous. There isn't a single person in my world who had a good experience with one, and even if it can't implant in people's brains now, it's still trying to hurt them. There's this guy he's hanging around with that he must have adopted as some new fucking project. And in that weird dream world, with that whole... monsters being slaves thing? It bought me. Me and one of my friends here, Connor. It tried to act like it wasn't going to do anything but it kept giving me orders and tried to get me to hide the truth from Connor. And then I don't know what it did to him... I think it must have cast some spell on him or something to make him agree more. It's a manipulative, abusive asshole. And I don't want it getting to anyone here... so that's why I had to tell everyone all this.
[He tries for a smile again, but it's too forced. He can feel a lump in his throat that signals to him he'd better end this fast.]
Anyways, that's about all I've gotta say. If you have any questions, let me know. I've got the receipts, I guess you'd call it. That's what they call 'em when you call someone out, right? Whatever. Thanks for listening. Hopefully next time I won't be such a fucking downer.
And uh, if there're any witches who're listening and know spells to like... conjure up something? Let me know. I might need a little favour.
[Rich gives a salute and ends the recording. His responses may be slow, but he just needs a minute to breathe normally again.]
Date: September 2
Format: Video
[The face that fills the screen is notable for a lot of reasons. For those who haven't met Rich, the harsh red scars covering his face, neck, and shoulders are certainly different. Scales are starting to pepper the skin like freckles, but it still doesn't do much to hide the damage. Nor does it distract from how emotional Rich looks. As much as he tries to keep his expression even, there's tension in his jaw, a slight furrow in his brow, and his eyes look slightly red.
He offers a weak smile and a wave to the camera, before taking a deep breath in and out. Apparently this is going to be difficult for him.]
Hey everyone. If you don't know me, I'm Rich Goranski. I got here last month, so... yeah. Anyways, I'm not here to break the ice or anything. I... need to tell everyone about some stuff, and I've been kind of meaning to do this for days and I just didn't know how. Anyways. I just wanted to warn you.
There's this guy you might have met. Looks like some handsome Japanese model, and he's got two different coloured eyes? I can send a picture if you don't know what I'm talking about. He's called the SQUIP. Or well, I don't know if that's what it calls itself here. It fucking introduced itself as Gregward to me, but... I think that's because we have a history. We're from the same place, and if what he did to me and my friends is any indication, he's probably going to really hurt someone here. He's already got his claws in some people and I just... don't want anyone else to go through that.
[He takes a moment to nibble on his lip and then look back at the camera, as if he's found some new source of bravery.]
Back home, the SQUIP -uh, Super Quantum Unit Intel... Processor- [He counts them off on his fingers as he attempts to remember the acronym.] It wasn't human. It was actually this pill sized supercomputer that you could take? It'd get up into your head and implant in your brain and then it was... basically supposed to help make you cooler. Or at least, that's what they said when I bought one. I got one back as a freshman and I... I mean, I guess it's kind of obvious that it fucked me up.
It doesn't really have any concerns about hurting people to get what it wants. It'd electrocute me if I didn't do or say the right thing. It put me on this really messed up work out plan and I built up way too much muscle way too quickly. I've got a bunch of stretch marks to prove it. And if you argued with it long enough, it wasn't afraid to just... take over your whole body. The last few months I had the thing, I wasn't even ever myself anymore... I just had to watch myself do all this shit that I'd never, ever want to do. Like selling them to other kids.
And it could get in your head. It would take away senses or give you weird hallucinations to make sure you didn't think about resisting. A friend of mine... Jeremy, he actually had his best friend erased from his vision so he couldn't even see him? I think he called it optic nerve blocking.
It finds other ways to manipulate you too. It's really charming at first, and it knows how to find and pick at every little insecurity you have. It'll use anything. Any memory, any good thought... I uh. When it wanted me to listen, it would take on the appearance of my mom. I hadn't seen her since I was little and I didn't want to lose that again. Even if she was saying things she'd never say... I couldn't make her hurt again.
[His voice cracks on the last few words, and he tries to cover it up by clearing his throat, taking a deep breath again.]
Anyways, its main goal wasn't actually to help us, if that wasn't obvious. It made me stock up on a bunch of the pills to try to slip them into everyone's drinks. It got Jeremy on board when I... uh, ducked out, to put it nicely.
It just wanted to spread to as many people as possible. It was trying to make this like, hivemind sort of thing. Called it a social network. Where no one had to hurt anymore. But it... it fucked with people until they don't know who they are anymore. Jeremy's SQUIP - I think that's the one that's here right now - it synced with me, and it made me go from being annoyed by Jeremy to just completely being his best friend. I couldn't think anything negative about him. And it did the same to a bunch of other people. It erased everything about them... practically made them zombies. I'm lucky there was someone who knew how to get rid of them. I... eventually tried burning mine out, but it didn't go as planned.
Anyways, the important thing is that the SQUIP is dangerous. There isn't a single person in my world who had a good experience with one, and even if it can't implant in people's brains now, it's still trying to hurt them. There's this guy he's hanging around with that he must have adopted as some new fucking project. And in that weird dream world, with that whole... monsters being slaves thing? It bought me. Me and one of my friends here, Connor. It tried to act like it wasn't going to do anything but it kept giving me orders and tried to get me to hide the truth from Connor. And then I don't know what it did to him... I think it must have cast some spell on him or something to make him agree more. It's a manipulative, abusive asshole. And I don't want it getting to anyone here... so that's why I had to tell everyone all this.
[He tries for a smile again, but it's too forced. He can feel a lump in his throat that signals to him he'd better end this fast.]
Anyways, that's about all I've gotta say. If you have any questions, let me know. I've got the receipts, I guess you'd call it. That's what they call 'em when you call someone out, right? Whatever. Thanks for listening. Hopefully next time I won't be such a fucking downer.
And uh, if there're any witches who're listening and know spells to like... conjure up something? Let me know. I might need a little favour.
[Rich gives a salute and ends the recording. His responses may be slow, but he just needs a minute to breathe normally again.]
no subject
[His instinct is to touch Rich's arm, but he pulls away again before making contact.]
That's not what I'm saying. I know that it put you through hell. That does matter. That's why I want the SQUIP to stay away from you.
[He eyes the blood running down Rich's arms, and finally touches his hand.]
You've been through a lot. But I want you to know, you've been incredibly brave. Please try to relax a little.
[Rich very obviously has a lot of personal issues that Connor isn't equipped to handle, but he's trying. His voice is quiet, his eyes concerned.]
no subject
[Rich flinches when he's touched, but he doesn't quite pull away. He's angry and hurt and still, after everything, he trusts Connor, even though it's starting to feel like he has no reason to.
How would an android ever pick his side over one of its own?]
It's never going to stay away. So that means I can't relax until it's gone.
no subject
Here... we should tend to your arms.
[He gets up and goes to grab bandages and antiseptic wipes from the first aid cabinet. It pays to be prepared, just incase. He comes back and takes Rich's hand, extending his arm so he can work on the cuts.]
Maybe filing down your talons would be a good idea.
no subject
He doesn't say anything to the suggestion. He thinks admitting that he wouldn't care if he bled would probably only upset Connor more in the moment. Instead, he just averts his gaze to stare out a nearby window, instead of at the damage he's caused to himself or to someone he hoped would be a friend.]
no subject
I know you likely don't trust me at this point, but I still don't intend to let the SQUIP hurt you. I'll keep that promise to the best of my ability, no matter what.
[But he can't pretend he hates the SQUIP, or that he can't see its point of view. Even if he doesn't agree with its methods personally, they were methods it saw fit to get to its goal the most efficiently. That's what machines do. He won't blame Rich for anything he experienced, but he won't condemn the SQUIP for performing as intended.]
no subject
[Rich lets his hands linger for a moment, stretched out towards Connor, before he brings them back, taking care to hug his arms with a little more caution.]
I just don't know if I can, after this. I know you have a reason for... not hating it, or not wanting to hurt it. I don't really want to hurt it either... I wouldn't, if there was another option. It drilled that violent idea about beating down anything that made me feel weak for years, and I don't want to give into it now.
...But I don't know what else to do. Anything else feels like I'm just... waiting to die.
no subject
If you can't trust me... I understand. I want you to feel safe. It's important.
[He fiddles with the bandages as he speaks.]
But I really don't think the SQUIP is interested in hurting you. It has no logical reason to.
[Or, well, it didn't. Rich's post might have kicked the hornet's nest a little.]
no subject
[Maybe it did, but Rich really can't see the reasons.]
I didn't feel safe when I was in that world. You kept saying you'd protect me, and... I hate to be such an asshole, but you didn't. So I don't know how I'm supposed to believe it now.
no subject
You're right... I failed in that regard.
[Which irks him, because if there's one thing he can't stand, it's failing at something.]
You shouldn't blame the SQUIP for keeping you there. I was the one who refused to let us be separated. And yes, it meant that you were in the presence of a being that caused you considerable pain. I was only weighing which would hurt you more, being in the presence of the SQUIP, or being taken as a slave by strangers.
[He was looking at it from a machine's point of view, he supposes... but in a way that he thought would help Rich.]
no subject
[He can tell Connor is upset at himself... so he doesn't say that it was a poor choice, even if he really does want to. He goes back to resting his head against his knees, staring at a loose thread on his pants.]
It... I guess I just felt like I wasn't being listened to. I feel like I've tried to say so many times how I feel around it, and it felt like it didn't matter... or like you didn't believe me or something.
no subject
[He looks down sadly.]
Which is exactly what I shouldn't have done. I'm sorry, Rich. I don't know how a human would have handled that. I simply believed that I knew the outcome of keeping you in that room, versus the unknown variables of letting you leave. The room seemed like the safest choice.
no subject
[A hell of a lot. The SQUIP would have stood by its justification that it was the most logical answer. Connor, at least, seems to have the ability to show some regret and some ability to learn. More than the SQUIP ever would bother to.]
I know it seemed like it was safer, but. I don't... I'm tired of being abused. I had to work so hard the last year to move on from that... I moved out of my house and everything.
Being thrown right back into it is driving me a little crazy.
no subject
[He'll let Rich walk away if he needs to, even if the potential outcome worries him.]
And please remember that if you need anything from me, you can always contact me or stop by. I won't mind.
no subject
I guess... I appreciate you trying. I know it's been crazy. And I know you feel torn between two different people.
[Even if Connor really should just cut the SQUIP off now while he can.]