someone get him a furminator

[cyclopticsadist]

Name: Niles
Date: 6/13
Format: Video

[The clip opens with a shot of Niles' chest. It might seem intentional, given how the deep cut v neck of his shirt shows off his chest, but after the picture rotates and tilts awkwardly a few times it becomes pretty clear he's just not entirely familiar with how cameras work. When his face finally is visible and the picture steadies he's frowning, annoyance obvious in the slant of his mouth and his squinting eyes.]

A question to all those who are gaining new parts and features, how do you keep them clean?

[The camera shakes and rotates some more as Niles turns his device to point down at a long, incredibly fluffy, beautifully patterned tail. It's not filthy, but the white shows flecks of dirt caught in it and there's a few small mats starting to form, particularly on the underside near the end. It flicks and twitches a few times before Niles moves the camera back up to his face.]

I've tried combing it like my regular hair- [Which looks clean, shiny, and overall well groomed.] -but the fur is so dense it hardly does anything, and it picks up dirt and grime so easily. I'm used to having a dirty reputation, but I pride myself on keeping that to the figurative sense only.

Comments

[cyclopticsadist]

[Niles' sleazy smile loses some of its sharp edge, becoming far more genuine for a moment or two. He glances over Konoe's features again. That puts the little kink in his tail in context. It was probably an old injury. He'd been considering making more dick jokes about their relative sizes, but for now he'll hold off. Insecurity around a scar is something he can sympathize with. He's lucky enough to be able to cover his up with an eye patch, and unlike a nose a tail probably can't be fixed by re-breaking it and setting it properly.]

Ah, so you're a real expert.

[That doesn't mean he was done teasing however. Niles stands, turns, and bends over, putting his hands on the bed. Again the pose is mock-seductive, but unlike someone born with a tail he clearly doesn't know how to use it to emphasize his point. Instead of being raised it hangs down nearly straight, tip twitching with something almost like nerves. It's less to do with Konoe himself and more to do with the chronic stress of being ripped from his world. Still, each new person he meets is someone he has to analyse, judge, study, and evaluate as a potential threat, mark, or ally. By month two it's gotten a little exhausting for him, being constantly on something like high alert.]

Go ahead, take a good look.

[catasstrophy]

[Konoe has genuinely wanted to break his tail and hope it would heal up straight... but tails are so sensitive. If he was absolutely sure it would work, he'd consider it; as it is, he just suffers his silly insecurity in silence. Most of the time. When he isn't awkwardly whining about it...]

...

[That pose is ridiculous. Konoe would comment on it, too, except... that is not a proud, confident tail, no matter how convincing the rest of Niles' behavior is. It makes Konoe belatedly try to keep from verbally lashing out, even if he can't imagine what someone like Niles might have to be nervous about.]

... Just sit and relax. I said I'd show you how, didn't I?

[cyclopticsadist]

[Niles hesitates wanting to get a more scandalized reaction than that, but after a moment complies with a small huff. He sits on the bed again, arms crossed and his tail draped across his lap in a long loop.]

Alright. Now what?

[catasstrophy]

[Well... that sure is a question. As confident as Konoe had been, being called out like this almost makes him hesitate all over again.

But he started this, so he will finish it. He sits a little further down on the bed, kicking off his boots and pulling up his legs.]

I guess... just do what I do?

[That's fine, right? That definitely can't hurt. Konoe is just going to do his normal grooming, and Niles can follow after. Even if the bed isn't huge, cats are flexible: they should both be able to do their thing on the bed easily enough.]

[cyclopticsadist]

[Niles pulls a face when Konoe's demonstration is just very straightforward 'lick it'. He doesn't want his tongue touching all that hair and dirt. But well...he did say he'd follow instructions.

He grabs his tail in one hand, brings the end up to his mouth and...licks. This feels stupid and now he has hair on his tongue.]

Agck!

[catasstrophy]

[Konoe stares at Niles, expression thoroughly unimpressed - which makes for a weird combination with his own tongue still poking out a bit. It feels like a stupidly exaggerated reaction to licking your own tail, but he can at least acknowledge that he may be underestimating how hard things can be without practice. He's been doing this practically all his life, after all...]

It's just a little hair.

Keep going.

[cyclopticsadist]

[Just a little- just a little hair?! Any amount of hair in his mouth is too much hair. He's starting to regret following up on this when he had a perfectly sensible plan to go get a proper brush tomorrow. But no, he can see this through. He's had far more disgusting things in his mouth before.

He glares for a second, first at Konoe, then at his tail. Then he dives back in, this time doing his best faux blowjob sensual lick up the side of it while making full eye contact with his tutor.

Ugh. Ick. Bleh. He does his best to keep a straight face while subduing the urge to spit and immediately start picking the fur off his tongue.]

[catasstrophy]

[Reluctantly, Konoe interrupts his own grooming again, having barely started back up.]

... What even is that look for?

[No, really, Konoe doesn't get it. It looks vaguely constipated. It couldn't be that poor grooming gets all the fur blocking your intestines, could it?

That's... probably not true, but there's always a chance, and honestly? Konoe is running out of patience. Which he has absolutely no right to, since he volunteered for this, but whatever.]

Fine, I'll do it already. Just this once, okay?!

[If he comes off especially irritable, it's really not just because he's going to do Niles' job for him: it's also because the tail is a very sensitive part of a cat, and touching it feels like crossing a line, even if he can't not do it.]

[cyclopticsadist]

It's for- it's. [Explaining the innuendo just ruins it for him. He might as well give up with this guy if he's really this dense. He trails off, looks away with a glare, and then lets go of his tail. He flicks it up in a wide arc, smacking Konoe in the face with the fluffy (and now slightly wet with saliva) appendage.]

It's nothing. Go ahead then.

[One arm crossed across his chest, everything about his posture and expression says 'sulking'. His free hand starts picking fur out of his mouth.]

[catasstrophy]

Ow - careful!

[Swatting at Niles' tail, Konoe grabs it in the same motion, rather more firmly than he normally would a tail. They're sensitive things for a cat, and even if he doesn't know what it's like for a presumable human-monster-cat, he'd rather err on the side of caution.

But not when said human-monster-cat is being a sulky baby in spite of being given such a beautiful tail for no reason at all. Konoe shamelessly applies enough pressure to keep that tail where it is, even if he doesn't set out to hurt Niles as such.

... Well, there he goes, then. It's honestly kind of weird, doing this for someone else: it's not wrong, but it suggests an intimate relationship, whether familial or sexual, that Konoe doesn't have with this man... or with anyone else, for that matter. He's fine with living (mostly) by himself - which he's been doing a lot less since coming here, but that's an insignificant detail. It's only when doing something like this, confronted with what's normal for a lot of people but what Konoe doesn't have, that suddenly he feels vaguely embarrassed about it.

That's ridiculous, though. Besides, he is the one with the expertise, here! He came over to get this guy groomed if not grooming, and he'll do that if it's the last thing he does. His own tail giving a single nervous flick, Konoe goes to work, firmly licking that magnificent tail.]

[cyclopticsadist]

[He lets an exasperated breath out his nose with a subdued sort of huff, but otherwise doesn't react to the manhandling. His tail has a lot more padding after all. His tail gives a few minor involuntary twitches that are easily suppressed by Konoe's hold, but as his tail is groomed they stop.

The sensation is oddly calming, now that he's not having to deal with the discomfort of a mouthful of fur, and despite himself he starts feeling relaxed. Idly he considers Konoe, his face wearing a neutral, almost pensive look. The man was fairly handsome. The soft, expressive ears, his build, his his eyes. His tongue glide over Niles' fur, open mouth revealing just a hint of tantalizingly dangerous sharpened teeth. A few more blowjob jokes float through his mind, but he dismisses them, knowing they both wouldn't land well. Besides, even if they would get a rise out of him they would just interrupt this surprisingly pleasant experience.

As Konoe moves up his tail though he knows that eventually he'll have to get all the way to the base. How far would he be willing to go, and how could Niles possibly resist making a rimming joke? It was a rare opportunity and well, by that point the grooming would be at an end anyway....]

[catasstrophy]

[If the experience is relaxing for Niles, it's surprisingly relaxing for Konoe, too. Once he makes a little progress, it's easy to stop overthinking things, getting into the process almost as much as he gets into his own grooming. There are practical reasons for grooming, sure, but - whatever it's like for other cats - Konoe enjoys it because it calms him down, too.

Not that he would have expected that to work when grooming someone else, but you learn something new every day.

He steadily works his way up Niles' tail, his own utterly relaxed by now. A thick tail like this is about as much work as Konoe would have expected, but honestly? It's worth the effort of grooming it.]

[cyclopticsadist]

[It dawns on Niles belatedly that someone is taking care of him. That he'd openly invited this complete stranger to take care of him, and they'd agreed. It'd happened because he still saw his tail as something other than himself. An accessory, or a garment even. But with the gentle, tugging, tactile, feedback of Konoe's tongue through his fur it's undeniably an extension of him, a part of his whole. The sudden awareness of his vulnerability threatens to trigger a swell of panic in him, but he fights it down. A single sharp twitch of his tail gives him away and he pulls it abruptly out of Konoe's grip.]

Just a moment, let me...re-position.

[And Niles stands, grabs the chair and straddles it, presenting his back to him, giving him better access to the full length of his tail. It may seem counter intuitive, but to Niles having the solid back of the chair covering his front, having his legs under him on solid ground, and putting himself between the door and Konoe feels more secure. He knows
from experience he can survive a stab to the back after all. He keeps his head turned, single eye still watching Konoe intently.]

[catasstrophy]

[As he relaxed, Konoe stopped holding Niles' tail so tightly, or even holding it worth mentioning at all: by the time Niles decides to reposition, he's only supporting it, not really grabbing hold. It's still a surprise when it's yoinked free, leaving Konoe with his tongue awkwardly poking out... but if Niles wants to reposition, Niles wants to reposition. Maybe it's just because Konoe was so relaxed from grooming such a pretty tail, but he's not even offended at the interruption.

He's still not entirely sure he sees the point - he's a cat, after all: willingly assuming awkward positions is what he does - but he has no problem with it. As he stretches his back, his tail swings happily, and he resumes his work, licking ever higher up Niles' tail.]

[cyclopticsadist]

[To joke or not to joke. To joke or not to joke. As Konoe approaches the base of his spine Niles turns the thought over in his mind. Once, twice, aaaand....to joke. Definitely to joke. When Konoe is basically done, Niles raises the base of his tail and arches his back. Niles crosses his arms over the back of the chair, head laying on them and gives Konoe a sly smile over his shoulder.]

Feel free to roam a little lower if you please.

[catasstrophy]

[The work may technically be done, but Konoe is initially not ready to stop yet. It's nearly impossible to groom too much, and he's into it, so he sorta kinda halfway keeps going, even if he slows down considerably, to the point that he may as well stop.

And then Niles ruins a moment that shouldn't have existed anyway.]

...! You can lick that yourself!

[Konoe sits up immediately, more annoyed at how he let himself get into grooming someone else than annoyed at Niles' comment as such.]

[cyclopticsadist]

Oh believe me, if I could I would.

[Niles is wearing a self satisfied, picture perfect, shit eating grin. There was the reaction he wanted. Indignant and offended, finally fully clued into Niles' particular vulgar brand. Now only time would tell if Konoe could tolerate him anyway.

He finds himself hoping that he will, which is counter to his entire method of 'make them prove they can handle you before wasting time on them', but he supposes that's his fault. He really shouldn't have let them have that...unexpectedly intimate moment without showing demonstrating how truly obnoxious he was. Though to his credit, not for lack of trying. His face relaxes, just a bit, into a genuine sort of smile.]

Sincerely, I thank you for your help. [And then abruptly his face regains its sharp and mocking edge.] If you find yourself craving something long and thick to get your mouth on, my door is always open.