[ Yona takes a moment to consider her answer, clearly trying to choose her words carefully. But then she gives a soft sigh and fiddles with the settings on this connection until only he can hear her answer. There were some parts of her answer that she did not share easily. ]
At first, it was out of necessity, I'll admit. Even then... I was wary of who to trust with one.
Before I came here... well. I was betrayed deeply by someone I thought I knew - and loved dearly. It turns out that all the brightness he showed only hid a much darker and colder truth beneath it. My lack of judgement... No, I can't say even then it would have made things turn out differently because I suspect he had his motives that went far beyond just what I believed of him, but still. It was a deep cut and one that still weakens my confidence sometimes.
So coming here, learning about these Bonds, learning about the intimate nature of them... It was very frightening at first. Making such a connection like that, without knowing what you might find on the other end...? Yes, I understand what you mean by 'unsettled'.
But Xichen, letting fear stop us from reaching out isn't an answer either. We'll make mistakes - we are still human, after all, and none of us are infallible. But if you don't risk reaching out, you'll never find the brightness a Bond is meant to bring.
There may be some who can choose their Bonded partner out of only necessity or convenience. Keep them at a distance and connect no more than the link there to control their abilities. But I think it is a loss for them, knowing what I do of the connection I share with my Bonded now. I know I could not join a link so deep and keep myself separate and distanced from it.
...Which was probably a much more lengthy answer than you required, but it's why I stand by needing to understand what it is you need and seek from a Bond. If you can discover that, I think you'll find your own answer to your question.
/Private
At first, it was out of necessity, I'll admit. Even then... I was wary of who to trust with one.
Before I came here... well. I was betrayed deeply by someone I thought I knew - and loved dearly. It turns out that all the brightness he showed only hid a much darker and colder truth beneath it. My lack of judgement... No, I can't say even then it would have made things turn out differently because I suspect he had his motives that went far beyond just what I believed of him, but still. It was a deep cut and one that still weakens my confidence sometimes.
So coming here, learning about these Bonds, learning about the intimate nature of them... It was very frightening at first. Making such a connection like that, without knowing what you might find on the other end...? Yes, I understand what you mean by 'unsettled'.
But Xichen, letting fear stop us from reaching out isn't an answer either. We'll make mistakes - we are still human, after all, and none of us are infallible. But if you don't risk reaching out, you'll never find the brightness a Bond is meant to bring.
There may be some who can choose their Bonded partner out of only necessity or convenience. Keep them at a distance and connect no more than the link there to control their abilities. But I think it is a loss for them, knowing what I do of the connection I share with my Bonded now. I know I could not join a link so deep and keep myself separate and distanced from it.
...Which was probably a much more lengthy answer than you required, but it's why I stand by needing to understand what it is you need and seek from a Bond. If you can discover that, I think you'll find your own answer to your question.