— video.

[webshoots]

name: peter parker (ANONYMOUS)
date: 07/05
format: video

[ at first, there's a shot of sky; then, there's a shot of a wall, and then there's peter sat on the wall — or more accurately, there's a shot of someone sat on the wall in what, in some universe, could be mistaken for a red and blue wrestling suit.

(it's not though, it's just your friendly neighborhood not-as-spidery spider-man.)

that is to say: the explanations (quote-unquote) they've received to date are somewhat lacking, and he's still kind of hoping there's an absolutely anyone he can point a finger at and go 'I KNEW IT' rather than have this remain an apparently fluke accident of the multiversal variety.

there's a quirk of his lips and he holds his hands up, palms facing outwards in vague gesture of: and so. ]

Skipping past the Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore and going straight to the yellow brick road and wizard combo was— ... not exactly life affirming, but it did make me wonder about my sartorial choices.

[ he lets that comment hang for a moment before continuing, attention shifting up to the sky for a count of three and then back in the direction of the watch. ]

I mean, I get it: dimensional travel is [ pause. ] Complex. Temperamental. Annoying. [ that's not entirely the word he means, but it's the word he's using (there could be kids listening). nevertheless: ] I've been there, done this, passed on the t-shirt because it belonged to a guy with a color scheme that makes me look ill and come out the other side. Right side? Home side. There's got to be a better way of putting that—. Wasn't really interested in a repeat. Do you know how many voicemails I'm going to go back to? Accusations of being Bigfoot?

[ he holds his hands up — exasperation, folks — and it's followed by another pause, and another a quirk of his features beneath his mask. it's punctuated by a shrug, and he almost manages to look sheepish. ]

—You know, that felt good to get off my chest. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I’d love to say this is the weirdest thing I’ve done in my life but it’s not, which basically brings me to this question:

Anyone got directions to the lost and found? I think I dropped something exit-right of Earth.

Comments

video (eren jaeger)

[usurpers]

[










what is this all suppposed to even mean, says a young lad from year 853, to himself. ]

Your— Clothes?

[webshoots]

[ IT MEANS





this sucks, eren. ]

—That's a valid guess, but no. Whilst the red-and-blue doesn't leave a huge amount to the imagination, it is still clothing.

[usurpers]

Looks . . . Hard to move in.

[ . . . no offense! he’s perplexed. it’s colorful! too colorful, like you’re painting a target on yourself. and skin tightness looks suffocating! ]

Like you can’t breathe.

[webshoots]

It's designed for movement. [ and look, he had grand plans to earn money from his spider-abilities. he appeared on tv and everything, it's supposed to be colourful.

and, you know, identification at this point. ]

And it breathes, but take it from me: don't leave sweat-wicking materials too long between washes because the smell is definitely potent, and it's a little embarrassing to have a guy who tries to make his living stealing purses from little old ladies tell you to pop to the store and pick up a stick of deodorant.

[usurpers]

[ eren has to focus extra damn hard to understand all those words, and if not— at least the meaning.

(he doesn’t even) ]

So you . . . [ never mind ] What was it that you lost, anyway?

[webshoots]

Uh— [ right. it had mostly been a facetious comment about the fact that, apparently, he no longer has his spider-sense or the rest of his spider-abilities (goodbye, wallcrawling), but that's not something he wants to broadcast on a network, public or otherwise, so: ]

—Tylenol. [ as if to emphasise, he pulls at his trousers and adds: ] No pockets.

[usurpers]

[ i’m sorry af peter you’re dealing with a caveman

in turn, eren seems— a little more irritated? Its not peter’s fault! It’s just. bothersome, when people from the future talk and he doesn’t know about 80% of what they’re actually going on about. someone told him about spoilers? and he was like but why do you want to give me plane spoilers. ]

You’re from the future, aren’t you?

[webshoots]

[ s q u i n t i n g.

that's relative, eren. but it would slot a couple of things into place. ] What year was it for you?

[usurpers]

[ he’s not embarrassed, per se, but



literally him ]

853.

[webshoots]

[ huh. ] —Yeah, I'm from the future, assuming that's Earth years.

[usurpers]

Which Earth is the bigger question. [ there are so many? there are so many. ] It’s like you’re speaking a completely different language.

[webshoots]

I don't think they come with serial numbers printed on the outside... [ "the earth with spider-man" really wouldn't clear anything up because, you know, there are many earths with many spider-(wo)men and assorted ... other ... spider-beings and clones. ] I'm from over a thousand years in your future, I'd be more shocked if you did understand any of what I said. [ beat. ] Sorry— [ eyes the usernaaaaame. ] —Eren. Jaeger.

[usurpers]

[ thousands of alternate eren jaegers would make all worlds implode on themselves ]

I just have to catch up. [ squint ] Aenon Ymas.

[webshoots]

[







oh eren. ]

Ignore that. It's Spider-Man.

[usurpers]

[ his conviction in saying the name— look, eren jaeger tries his best. ]

Spider . . . Man. [ honestly— it would’ve been a little weirder, had he not spoken to izuku about also using “deku”. except this one seems a lot more literal. ] You can turn into a spider?

[webshoots]

[ WHY does no-one get that it's a motif. ]

—Think of it like a metaphor. That's a no, at least for now.