— video.

[webshoots]

name: peter parker (ANONYMOUS)
date: 07/05
format: video

[ at first, there's a shot of sky; then, there's a shot of a wall, and then there's peter sat on the wall — or more accurately, there's a shot of someone sat on the wall in what, in some universe, could be mistaken for a red and blue wrestling suit.

(it's not though, it's just your friendly neighborhood not-as-spidery spider-man.)

that is to say: the explanations (quote-unquote) they've received to date are somewhat lacking, and he's still kind of hoping there's an absolutely anyone he can point a finger at and go 'I KNEW IT' rather than have this remain an apparently fluke accident of the multiversal variety.

there's a quirk of his lips and he holds his hands up, palms facing outwards in vague gesture of: and so. ]

Skipping past the Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore and going straight to the yellow brick road and wizard combo was— ... not exactly life affirming, but it did make me wonder about my sartorial choices.

[ he lets that comment hang for a moment before continuing, attention shifting up to the sky for a count of three and then back in the direction of the watch. ]

I mean, I get it: dimensional travel is [ pause. ] Complex. Temperamental. Annoying. [ that's not entirely the word he means, but it's the word he's using (there could be kids listening). nevertheless: ] I've been there, done this, passed on the t-shirt because it belonged to a guy with a color scheme that makes me look ill and come out the other side. Right side? Home side. There's got to be a better way of putting that—. Wasn't really interested in a repeat. Do you know how many voicemails I'm going to go back to? Accusations of being Bigfoot?

[ he holds his hands up — exasperation, folks — and it's followed by another pause, and another a quirk of his features beneath his mask. it's punctuated by a shrug, and he almost manages to look sheepish. ]

—You know, that felt good to get off my chest. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I’d love to say this is the weirdest thing I’ve done in my life but it’s not, which basically brings me to this question:

Anyone got directions to the lost and found? I think I dropped something exit-right of Earth.

Comments

[oceanschild]

[....this does not make more sense now.]

How can you do those things if you're only human?

[webshoots]

I got lucky? [ only partially phrased as a question. (whatever.) almost dismissively: ] I got bit by a spider. [ he's not going to clarify that the webs are made of a substance he created as a teenager — there was that weird period of time when he could organically shoot webs which will never be revisited, thank you and that, quite frankly, calling himself spider-man doesn't really make a whole lot of sense in retrospect, but at this point?

it's a brand, so it stays. ] Don't try it at home, kiddo.

[oceanschild]

[??? THIS IS NOT HELPING.]

Does being bitten by a spider in your world make you a spider??

[webshoots]

[ QUIETLY SCREAMING OFF CAMERA. ]

Generally not, but in the rare occasion: yes. Or kissed. Sometimes that turns you into a spider as well. [ pause. ] That one's a hard pass, do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not engage.

[oceanschild]

[There is a loooooong pause.]

Your world sounds very strange.

[webshoots]

Yeah, we can move on from discussing my world, please and thank you. I can promise you that living it doesn't make it make any more sense.

[oceanschild]

[That almost makes it worse tbh.]

So... what do you want to talk about?

[Since they have beyond strayed from any initial point by now.]

[webshoots]

[ trufact: despite being prone to talking incessantly, actual conversation isn't always peter strongest suit. there's a silence whilst peter considers that for a moment, and: ]

—Important question: best place you've found to get food?

[oceanschild]

[to be fair, this is an important question.]

I've been working at the tavern... their food is alright. [It's tavern food.] But I did find a really good bakery...