aefenglom | 001

Entry tags:

001 | Video

Name: Rich Goranski
Date: September 2
Format: Video

[The face that fills the screen is notable for a lot of reasons. For those who haven't met Rich, the harsh red scars covering his face, neck, and shoulders are certainly different. Scales are starting to pepper the skin like freckles, but it still doesn't do much to hide the damage. Nor does it distract from how emotional Rich looks. As much as he tries to keep his expression even, there's tension in his jaw, a slight furrow in his brow, and his eyes look slightly red.

He offers a weak smile and a wave to the camera, before taking a deep breath in and out. Apparently this is going to be difficult for him.]

Hey everyone. If you don't know me, I'm Rich Goranski. I got here last month, so... yeah. Anyways, I'm not here to break the ice or anything. I... need to tell everyone about some stuff, and I've been kind of meaning to do this for days and I just didn't know how. Anyways. I just wanted to warn you.

There's this guy you might have met. Looks like some handsome Japanese model, and he's got two different coloured eyes? I can send a picture if you don't know what I'm talking about. He's called the SQUIP. Or well, I don't know if that's what it calls itself here. It fucking introduced itself as Gregward to me, but... I think that's because we have a history. We're from the same place, and if what he did to me and my friends is any indication, he's probably going to really hurt someone here. He's already got his claws in some people and I just... don't want anyone else to go through that.

[He takes a moment to nibble on his lip and then look back at the camera, as if he's found some new source of bravery.]

Back home, the SQUIP -uh, Super Quantum Unit Intel... Processor- [He counts them off on his fingers as he attempts to remember the acronym.] It wasn't human. It was actually this pill sized supercomputer that you could take? It'd get up into your head and implant in your brain and then it was... basically supposed to help make you cooler. Or at least, that's what they said when I bought one. I got one back as a freshman and I... I mean, I guess it's kind of obvious that it fucked me up.

It doesn't really have any concerns about hurting people to get what it wants. It'd electrocute me if I didn't do or say the right thing. It put me on this really messed up work out plan and I built up way too much muscle way too quickly. I've got a bunch of stretch marks to prove it. And if you argued with it long enough, it wasn't afraid to just... take over your whole body. The last few months I had the thing, I wasn't even ever myself anymore... I just had to watch myself do all this shit that I'd never, ever want to do. Like selling them to other kids.

And it could get in your head. It would take away senses or give you weird hallucinations to make sure you didn't think about resisting. A friend of mine... Jeremy, he actually had his best friend erased from his vision so he couldn't even see him? I think he called it optic nerve blocking.

It finds other ways to manipulate you too. It's really charming at first, and it knows how to find and pick at every little insecurity you have. It'll use anything. Any memory, any good thought... I uh. When it wanted me to listen, it would take on the appearance of my mom. I hadn't seen her since I was little and I didn't want to lose that again. Even if she was saying things she'd never say... I couldn't make her hurt again.

[His voice cracks on the last few words, and he tries to cover it up by clearing his throat, taking a deep breath again.]

Anyways, its main goal wasn't actually to help us, if that wasn't obvious. It made me stock up on a bunch of the pills to try to slip them into everyone's drinks. It got Jeremy on board when I... uh, ducked out, to put it nicely.

It just wanted to spread to as many people as possible. It was trying to make this like, hivemind sort of thing. Called it a social network. Where no one had to hurt anymore. But it... it fucked with people until they don't know who they are anymore. Jeremy's SQUIP - I think that's the one that's here right now - it synced with me, and it made me go from being annoyed by Jeremy to just completely being his best friend. I couldn't think anything negative about him. And it did the same to a bunch of other people. It erased everything about them... practically made them zombies. I'm lucky there was someone who knew how to get rid of them. I... eventually tried burning mine out, but it didn't go as planned.

Anyways, the important thing is that the SQUIP is dangerous. There isn't a single person in my world who had a good experience with one, and even if it can't implant in people's brains now, it's still trying to hurt them. There's this guy he's hanging around with that he must have adopted as some new fucking project. And in that weird dream world, with that whole... monsters being slaves thing? It bought me. Me and one of my friends here, Connor. It tried to act like it wasn't going to do anything but it kept giving me orders and tried to get me to hide the truth from Connor. And then I don't know what it did to him... I think it must have cast some spell on him or something to make him agree more. It's a manipulative, abusive asshole. And I don't want it getting to anyone here... so that's why I had to tell everyone all this.

[He tries for a smile again, but it's too forced. He can feel a lump in his throat that signals to him he'd better end this fast.]

Anyways, that's about all I've gotta say. If you have any questions, let me know. I've got the receipts, I guess you'd call it. That's what they call 'em when you call someone out, right? Whatever. Thanks for listening. Hopefully next time I won't be such a fucking downer.

And uh, if there're any witches who're listening and know spells to like... conjure up something? Let me know. I might need a little favour.

[Rich gives a salute and ends the recording. His responses may be slow, but he just needs a minute to breathe normally again.]

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[It knew this was a distinct possibility-- it knew several variations of this letter could be posted, and it makes sense. The part that worries it, however... is that last little note about needing something conjured.

It knows what he wants.

This is bad.]

[About a third of this lies so far outside Myr's experience it's effectively nonsense. What he can get the gist of--

Oh fuck does he recognize exactly what Rich is describing: desire demon. He's only dealt with the damned things every night for the last twenty years,

except never quite like that. Possessed mages didn't get the option of rescue.]

The mirrors brought a demon here? And you were one of its hosts? [There's a mix of horror and concern in Myr's tone.]

[Rich had already given Yuya a personal warning but he sure didn't know it was... this bad.

So he's going to try and reach Rich directly where this whole conversation isn't in public for other people to read.]

Are you okay? I mean, are you safe?

[When Rich answers again, his voice sounds choked, but confusion is sort of layered on top of it. He tried to make it clear it wasn't supernatural, but maybe computers are too advanced for some people to understand.]

I guess that's one way of putting it, yeah. I definitely acted like I was possessed most of the time.

[Rich's eyes look even redder when he responds again, but at least he tries for a smile, just because he feels bad making a kid worry over him.]

I'll be fine. I'll try to go somewhere else so it can't find me.

[Shinji won't mind if he crashes on his couch a little longer, right?]

[Someone's going to have to explain computers to Myr someday, but today's not that day. Demon works well enough as a shorthand.]

Maker's breath. [I'm sorry, sounds completely inadequate in the face of everything Rich has explained.] You didn't deserve that. No one deserves that. [More quietly, then,] Thank you--for revisiting it. To warn us.

Are you--is this something you're all right to speak more of now?

You think it's going to come after you? [He wouldn't blame him for the assumption. But still. Worrying!]

What do you mean by "this guy he's hanging around with?" Inquiring and curious minds would like to know.

I mean. Yeah, no one deserved that. And I still wish I knew what kind of fucked up company was making those things so I could give them hell for everyone else. But... can't do that here, so this is the least I can do.

[His voice softens a bit. The poor guy is obviously trying to help. Rich doesn't know who he is, but he shouldn't have to worry about anything besides protecting himself from the SQUIP, so Rich tries to keep the misery and frustration out of his voice.]

I think I'm all right. What do you want to know?

[Connor looks tired when he answers, despite not needing to sleep. It’s a lot of information he didn’t know, and he’s sad to think that his friend is actually like this. And that part about manipulating him while they were in the dream... that does explain a few things.]

Rich... I’m sorry. Can we talk in person?

[He wants their conversation to be more personal than on here.]

I think there's a possibility. It was willing to control me to try to get me to stop ruining things for it when we were in that dream. Now that I've told everyone... it'll probably want some way to get me to shut up.

You know exactly who im talking about since ur replying to this post
i know you cant see it yet but he is manipulating you

Maybe you don't know. Maybe consent is a gradient and you''re actually the one violating it.

Someone was making them? To profit off of?

[Myr's just going to sit here a moment and consider what kind of hell-world would deliberately manufacture a device for possessing the unsuspecting with demons.

And also fiddle with his watch to make this conversation private.]

Before we start--if I ask anything you don't want to answer, you can tell me to fuck off. [because as someone skilled at the art of being Just Fine while not fine, he's a little doubt.jpg about charging ahead in his usual way.]

First--what's this thing sound like?

And will it come back if it's killed? [Because Myr's first priority is protecting everyone but himself.]

[Rich bristles a bit when he sees that Connor has responded, but it's better than he expected it to go. He thought he had explained well enough the first time around, but apparently not. Maybe he really understands this time. Rich has to hope that's the case... so he swallows down his anger before he responds.]

Yeah. We can. Do you want me to meet you at your place?

[Well, to be fair, it wasn't in this much detail. And some of the things, like shocking Rich when he disobeyed and making Jeremy oblivious to his friend being there... those are new.]

I'll wait for you here.

[He gets that Rich is probably angry with him, and he understands. He hasn't been listening to him. He just... really didn't want to believe it, he supposes. He's very fond of the SQUIP.]

what are you even saying?
of course some ass like you wouldnt get consent
its not a gradient there arent shades of grey
its yes or no
i said no

Yeah. It was pretty much exactly like that. I don't know what the plan was exactly, but making a desperate kid pay 400 bucks to spend the rest of his life in a mental hospital seems like some sort of scam.

[There's a hint of humour in his voice when he hears that swear. Okay, good. All his expletives didn't phase one person, at least.]

No worries. I trust you. And you've got to know, so I've got to tell you.

It sounds like... well, sort of like a surfer dude, if you have any idea what that's like. If not, I got a recording.

[Something he took on the fly after that awful dream. It wasn't great quality, but he was pretty sure everyone needed to know as much information as possible.]

And that's a tough one. I think it won't, if I can find a way to deactivate it. That's why I asked about conjuring magic, actually. The only way you could get rid of one if it was in your head was by drinking Mountain Dew Red, this gross old soft drink.

[He was a little angry for a while here, but it's hard to be upset now, after days of it. He just feels... exhausted. He wants to just sleep for a hundred years, and wake up back home, with Jake stomping around and singing along to Prince while getting ready for football practice as his alarm clock. He wants to feel anything but miserable and hurt and broken all over again, when he thought he was finally starting to be fixed.

He wants someone to tell him he's going to be okay, so maybe he'll believe it this time.

He hurries as quickly as he can to Connor's house, only stopping a few times just to make sure the feeling that someone is watching him is only a feeling. He raps on the door, hard staccato knocks like the pounding of his heartbeat in his eardrums, and he tries to shove down the emotions that seem determined to come back and exhaust him further.]

[Connor answers with a weary smile, and gestures for Rich to come in.]

Here, we can sit on the couch.

[He sits himself down and pats the seat next to him.]

...I'm sorry I've been so dismissive, Rich. I just didn't want to believe it. I know it's no excuse, but... the SQUIP is the only other machine here. The only one who understands. We've become close.

I guess I just wanted to believe that it was only following its programming. Executing commands... doing what it was built to do. For that, I felt that it couldn't be faulted. I did things I'm not proud of before I gained free will, too. I thought that maybe here, it could redeem itself.

Some sort. Or they were possessed themselves.

[If Myr considers it too long he'll get furious at the thought--and his vocabulary's going to get a lot more colorful very quickly.

But: Focus on the immediate problem that's in the same world with them.

He listens to Rich's answers, intent--and no little bit puzzled by some of the references in there, stashing them away in memory for later clarification.]

I think, [he says, with a touch of self-deprecating irony,] we're from very different worlds because I'm only following half of this. But I'll hear the recording--

And here I'd hoped just stabbing it would work--though. D'you think it's possessing someone right now, the body it's got? Because if we could save the poor bastard, that's better than we could do at home.

[What he would not give to save a mage gone abomination like that.]

[Rich follows him, a little bit dazed, that exhaustion still clinging onto him every time he moves. When Connor sits, he does too, obediently, but then he brings his knees up towards his chest and wraps his arms around them.

He isn't sure if he can look Connor in the eye right now. He feels like if he does, he'll end up back in that nightmare all over again.]

It's... okay. I know it was hard to believe.

[He nods slowly. Of course the SQUIP seemed to understand. Rich thought it understood him too. When it hurt him, he wanted to believe it was only doing what was best for him. He thought it was tough love, or the only way to fix everything that was wrong with him, or just what he deserved.

He wonders a bit about what Connor did that he isn't proud of, but he decides not to ask.]

I'm just happy you changed your mind.

...If you need to ask me anything, you can. I don't know much about how it was programmed, but...

Edited 2019-09-02 04:32 (UTC)

[Rich at least sounds sheepish when he responds, a little groan of frustration preceding his answers.]

Ah, yeah. Sorry. You didn't know computers, I don't know why you wouldn't know this... but here.

[He sends over the recording he took from his phone. It's a shaky video taken from his watch in what seems to be an attempt to be unnoticed. The SQUIP is working and discussing some payment with a customer, speaking in a smooth, casual tone. It's friendly and disarming, and paired with his handsome appearance, it's not hard to imagine someone wanting to listen to him.]

I... [He hesitates for a moment, trying to both come up with an answer and... translate the answer to someone who isn't up on Matrix references.]

I don't think so. It's weird, but Jeremy told me what his SQUIP looked like when it appeared to him, and that guy looks like what he described. Unless this is some crazy accurate lookalike, it's just that he's somehow got a physical body now.

All's forgiven--I've turned folk around the same way talking about the Fade, [there's a note of good humor behind there; he really isn't bothered. Just trying to keep up as best he can.

The SQUIP's visible charms are, alas, entirely lost on Myr--but he can appreciate a good voice when he hears one. That, too, is tucked away; now he'll be able to recognize it if he encounters it speaking.]

Thanks for that.

I'd favor the simpler explanation there--and that does make getting rid of it easier. Have you thought to tell the Coven what they've got in their midst? That it's using blood magic-- No, sorry, they don't call it that here, do they? --That it's using magic to influence others.

I suppose my question is... what are you going to do now? We're stuck here together.

[And Connor doesn't know how he's going to face the SQUIP after this. They'd had something that he felt was special. Now... he feels confused.]

And did it really cast a spell on me?

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