aefenglom | voice

Entry tags:

voice | open

Name: Asra
Date: Octeuril 25th
Format: Voice

[Asra sounds tired, and there's a buzz of noise in the background that sounds like the distant sounds of the city, the cry of gulls, and the roll of waves.]

What do people do when those they've bonded with are gone?

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[It had never occurred to him to consider what happens if one half of a Bond disappeared while the other remained. He recalls how strained it felt when he was in Dorchact and Hiccup was still in Aefenglom. He hates to consider what it might feel like to lose it completely.]

Oh, no. Are...They're gone? From here completely? [Stupid question. Right.] Are...Do you want company perhaps?

I don't feel them here and... I've been staying at their rooms that last few days. No one comes here any more.

[He's not certain about company entirely, part of him just wants to keep to himself but he's been doing that a great deal and it hasn't helped much. Maybe company wouldn't be such a bad thing.]

Are you at home?

I'm... I'm very sorry to hear. I haven't had that experience yet.

[That's because he hasn't... bonded with anyone yet, anxious little angel that he is.]

But if you need to talk, or if there's any way I could help please do let me know, dear.

Aziraphale. [It's said with a note of familiarity, Asra recalling the kind man from their first meeting.]

I hope that you don't have it. Are you settling in alright? [Is it easier to focus on someone else and their concerns? Yes, and he'll fully embrace that as an option to avoid his own pain.]

Quite well, my friend.

[Aziraphale can see what Asra's doing. Being a witch there isn't much he can do about the bond, and even if he could he could never replace whoever it is that Asra has lost. So if he can help by distracting the good man from his pain, he will take it.]

Would you like to meet, catch up over tea?

[Asra laughs softly, pleased at the offer.] I'd like that. I don't have anyone I can really share tea with now, and I have some of my own blends that could use a palette other than my own to test them on.

That's music to my ears, dear. It's been far too long since I've had an actually good tea- I had my favorites back home, but it's been impossible to find something similar here. And I have some pastries around since I'm testing them for my tea shop, so I can provide them for our little tea time.

When would be a good time?

[So... maybe he's working on reaching out a little. Trying to make a couple of connections. Hoping a certain someone doesn't notice he's doing it.

He recognises the sounds in the background and wonders if this person is sitting at the docks, just as he is.]

You have my condolences, for your loss. I've been given to understand that these bonds are... important to those like us.

[He'd be right in that assumption, although Asra has stashed himself away from all others and is currently curled in a large coil of rope, Faust draped around his neck and enjoying the sunlight while it lasts.]

They are, unless you prefer the idea of insanity and death. I don't recommend going too long without one, but making one... That's hard too.

I hadn't given too much thought to it...

[Admittedly, and perhaps he should have, but forming friendships and trust is different when you've lived for thousands of years and are effectively immortal. Could he ever actually trust anyone enough for that?

Difficult questions to answer.]

Is that your concern, then?

[That is, insanity and death.]

Talk to others who've been through the same thing. Try to move on and eventually look for a new one. It sucks, but you'll need one in time

[Her voice is calm and straightforward. Fie's just being honest, not thoughtless or mean.]

So that can be lost again as well, I suppose. I'm starting to wonder if that's all it will ever be for anyone here.

[Well, okay. Or be a pile of sad, too.]

If you wanna think like that, sure. It'll be pretty miserable if you continue, though.

[Sometimes you gotta play to your strengths ok, but he can admit that the other miiiight have a point. So Asra sighs heavily.]

No, you're right. And all because Ilya left doesn't mean I should turn into him and spend all my time martyring myself.

...do you know anyone who's had the same happen?

Nope. That just makes you really off putting to everyone else.

[Her voice changes a little as she has to think about this.] I don't think so. But there's gotta be more than a few of them.

[Her voice is sweet but wistful when she replies.]

Miss them...

What else can we do?

I wish there were other options. A way to find someone again, to bring them back...

Surely there's a way.

You can always find someone else to bond with.

Well it's that or... the alternative.

[Which he's not certain he can accept either.]

It took me months to manage one bond, another now just seems exhausting.

The alternative is another brand of exhausting. Having managed without an official bond for so long, I don't know what I was thinking. I would much rather deal with forming a relationship than the results of my own inability to control myself. Having a bond makes it that much easier, and for both parties.

You must be selective of who you keep close, which is why this poses a greater challenge for you.

I've accepted it as a possibility. We all have, me and my bonded. But as for what happens in that event, I can't say I'm actually prepared. I'm not sure anyone truly is.

No, I don't think any amount of realising it could happen is the same as it actually happening.

[Her voice is brooding when she responds, though not, probably, for the same reasons as anyone who feels particularly attached to their bonded. It's the acceptance that abandonment might come at any given time.]

They're luckier than the rest of us, aren't they?

You just have to keep doing what you need to in order to survive.

Are they really? I'm not so sure.

You don't think that being free is preferable?

[Even if they're dead or somewhere other than their original worlds, there are different ways to be free.]

What would make you think we could ever be more fortunate?

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