un: espresso_concerto

[amurder]

Name: Antonio Salieri
Date: Deceuer 2nd
Format: Audio

Good evening, everyone. [Comes a very low, inauspicious tone.] I hope this night has treated you all well. [Very nice, though. Very cordial.]

As for myself: I have a question.

Would anyone be willing to help me bake a few dozen sugar cookies?

Ah.

Perhaps ... a bit more than a few dozen.

Comments

voice.

[fordeath]

Do try not to leave too much white fur in them like you do everything else, Excellency!

voice. 1/2

[amurder]

—I'll have you know.

Amadeus. [Huff!] That I plan on wearing gloves while I bake.

[amurder]

... and what do you mean by everything else?

[fordeath]

[ what the hell! ]

Don't tell me you haven't noticed. My coats [ many of which are a spiffy, professional shade of black ] are always covered in your fuzz, Salieri. I spend a good portion of my mornings magicking it all off!

[amurder]

[Wow!] You—

You're exaggerating, Amadeus. [There. He'd know if he was shedding that much... !] You know very well I brush myself as often as I can!

And wouldn't a lint roller simply do...

[thejoyrider]

[What's this? No fun things will be happening without her participation, that is for sure]

Count me in for these cookies!

[She hardly has the skill but she certainly has the enthusiasm]

[fordeath]

[ why exert effort when you can use all the helpful and valuable knowledge you learned in magic classes for outfitting yourself? ]

Tell that to the furniture, my friend. I've endured a long and fruitless battle with it since moving in together.

[ yet no acknowledgement whatsoever of the horrible mess of scores and clothes and leftover food he leaves lying around. ]

voice

[glitzandglamour]

[A request for something Mettaton fancies himself 100% capable of! Would that he knew that this was also somebody he wanted to get to know, thanks to Amadeus. Perhaps eventually.]

Consider me a collaborator on your confectionery pursuits!

[Mettaton's voice is animated and smooth, so much so that it's oddly synthetic.]

I'm feeling charitable. It must be the season! If it's more than a few dozen you need, having a lovely robotic assistant such as myself at your side is picture perfect. Don't you agree?

[amurder]

A "long and fruitless battle", is it?

[Prepare to eat your words, Amadeus.] Very well!

I'll clean out the closet and wipe it down to its last particle. Then you can sleep in there and avoid my fuzz all together. [KIND of a shame Amadeus can't see his bristling tail right now...]

[amurder]

Your Majesty.

[He expected this somehow... and yet feels pleasantly warm all the same when she pops up.]

Of course. However, I will warn you— it'll be messy work.

[fordeath]

[ only when he's being lectured does he take into account that they're engaging in this couple's quarrel publicly. ]

You wouldn't! Besides... [ he might be able to hear that bristling tail in tone alone ] the bed is curiously fuzz-free. Imagine that. [ could he be backtracking? ]

... Although I do find the occasional feather.

voice.

[amurder]

Robotic?

[That definitely rings a bell.] Ah, I see. Amadeus has mentioned you quite often... Mr. Mettaton, isn't it?

If you could spare the time, [Well, the odds of other robots running around is quite possible but musical robots??] then I'd be honored if you were to assist me. [Just no bombs ok?]

[thejoyrider]

I do not mind it at all, I can handle it! I know you are worried about me, but I did manage to survive while stranded on a tropical island once.

[Where everything they needed was created with Scathach’s rune magic. But it should not be that hard to reproduce the results with one’s own strength, should it not?]

[glitzandglamour]

[He'll find other ways to blow things up.]

Oh! Has he? Of course he has. Then you must be... Salieri. Yes. Amadeus has spoken of you as well! ...Fondly, I should add.

[That earns a laugh out of Mettaton. He's pretty sure he has the right person.]

Of course I'd have the time to spare, if not so I can get to know you better, darling. And I'm good at baking, if I say so myself! I've earned only rave reviews for my line of edible products back home.

["Rave reviews" from "celebrities" of which there is "one" named "Mettaton."]

[wordsinthesoul]

How many are you thinking of, then?

1/2

[amurder]

[An occasional feather?!] Wolfgang!

[amurder]

... Hmph.

Really. [Oh, Amadeus. So close to redemption!]

I'm begining to think you're trying to tell me something. Could it be perhaps... you'd like for us to clean the entire apartment?

[That must be it.] To think! You merely had to ask, Maestro.

[amurder]

Ah, yes... that was mentioned once. Briefly.

[As much as he loathes the idea of Marie fending for herself and others, he knows she's quite capable all on her own.

Still!] There will be a lot. We'll need several ingredients... and a hand for decorating. [Wink wink!]

[amurder]

If I'm thinking realistically... perhaps a thousand?

[That's a lot of frosting.]

[thejoyrider]

Wonderful! You can count on me with this, you know. Where are you planning to do this? Your place?

[She hopes he had somewhere else in mind. Salieri’s place... might be a little uncomfortable for that]

[fordeath]

[ this time, he laughs, playfully and remorselessly. ] Not at all! Come now, there's no need to be so sour about it.

I look forward to diving into our clean sheets once I get home. [ new tactic. ]

[wordsinthesoul]

That’s quite a few. Do you have the ingredients?

voice

[fiddlestick]

That sounds like a lot...what are they for?

[amurder]

[Don't let him distract you, Salieri.]

After washing up and putting away the laundry, I'm sure.

Is that what you meant? [He muses. The sheets are VERY clean!]

[amurder]

[Also he's not sure his kitchen would be able to withstand cookies of such a magnitude...]

A local bakery I frequent has graciously allowed me to use a section of their kitchen, once I was able to convince them. [Probably because of his aggressive sweet tooth, no less! Monster or not... he's a very loyal customer.]

That should suffice, My Queen.