aefenglom | un: anonymous;

Entry tags:

un: anonymous;

Name: "anonymous" (Hiccup Haddock III)
Date: Feb. 2
Format: Text

some things recently came up and it has me thinking a lot. i'm not sure who else to ask this? the person i'd normally talk to is... part of it.

is it possible to have romantic feelings for more than one person at the same time? does that make you a bad person? i never had to consider it before because i thought everything would be simple, for me at least, but now it isn't so simple and i'm not

sure what to do

i don't want to hurt them

[ooc: Hiccup is posting anonymously but as this function isn't always reliable, let me know if you want him to anonfail! He's having some relationship troubles whoops.]

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I'm gonna throw a question right back at you. Why would that make you a bad person?

isn't it betraying one person to fall in love with another person? and i can't talk to them about it. the first person, she's not here.

Feelings are just feelings. They aren't good or bad, on their own. They don't make you good or bad, on their own. You make choices, and your choices are what impact people, so if you make shitty, stupid choices, that's what makes you an asshole. Not your feelings.

I see you didn't want to write in to my radio show! But anyway...

Yes, you can have romantic feelings for more then one person at the same time. And yes, it can be fine. It all depends on how you act on it, and if you can speak to all parties.

Talking things through is important.

[... This is a Hyur thing, isn't it.]

Having feelings for someone does not make you a 'bad person'. As long as you are open and flexible toward the needs of all involved, it is not selfish to desire more than what you have.

There are societies on other worlds where one person may have multiple partners, and it is all encouraged—all for the life of the clan.

To live like that is work, but happiness usually is.

It depends. I don't know what kind of oaths and promises you made to each other, so I can't tell if there is betrayal involved.

As for the feelings alone— Have you fallen out of love with her? Or are your feelings strong for both of your dear people? It's rare to find someone with a heart so small to have a place in it only for one person alone.

we're betrothed. back home. nothing like this has ever come up because i've never had feelings for anyone else before here.

no. i'll always love her, and i don't think i'll ever stop having feelings for him either. it's all just... new, i guess.

do you think that? do other people go through this?

[It's hard to tell tone in text, but Hiccup isn't judging at all, he's legitimately curious, wondering.]

then what's the asshole choice here? the last thing i want to do is hurt him, or the person i'm in love with back home. i care about them both and i'm

really close to both of them

i haven't been in town much to listen to the radio.

[He's actually gliding over the city right now on dragon-back. Texting from the saddle. As you do. This is his 'thinking place'.]

that's the problem. one of them isn't here, and never has been. i'll never see her again if i never get home. i met the other here. i've been here for... months now, by myself, and he's always made me feel less alone.

and when we tried to talk the other day everything went all wrong.

Might not be a bad idea to pick one up, if only for some good tunes and a little advice now and then!

[But she'd also trade a radio for a glide over dragon back. That'd be awesome.]

But back to business. Mind if you go into a little more detail? We can switch it to private if you like, to protect both parties.

[No, just a sad Viking who doesn't know what the hell he's doing thing.]

really? multiple partners? how does that work? they don't get jealous or upset?

is it really not selfish? he's meant a lot to me, even though we only met here. i might have screwed things up though, so maybe it doesn't even matter.

carrying one around seems kind of impractical. i'm usually busy. and i'm

hoping i won't need this kind of advice again.

[If things don't work out with Newt he can't imagine falling for anybody else while he's here in Aefenglom. He used to think he was a one-person kind of viking, but these days... he's less sure about that. Maybe he's just a two person kind of viking?]

private would be good. i'm not sure how to turn that on? i just don't want to make a big spectacle out of this but i didn't know where else to go for advice.

You can always listen to music when you're busy.

But anyway-I'll see about making this private in one second-

And there we go. All right big guy, talk to me. And leave out no detail.

So you have an open heart... And plenty of love to give. Put that way, does it sound so bad, darling?

anon-buddy, that’s called a harem

It requires open communication between all parties about what they need and desire from the relationship. Expectations must be clearly understood. Duties must be performed.

I am no expert—I cannot say I have had a lasting romantic relationship in an age—but I do know that people typically like to make their own decisions. Rather than assuming how he may or may not feel about it all, mayhap you should give him the chance to speak for himself.

You may even desire the same thing.

I think it's pretty normal. After all, it's not like you spend time with only a small number of people for your entire lifetime.

Different people will have different experiences. Different values too. Personally, I think it boils down to honesty, towards everyone. Including yourself.

It hurts when one love fades only to light-up another, especially when you're on the fading end. But if both flames shine brightly, what wrong it is to sustain them both? I know it will sound cheesy, but bear with me— there are as many different ways to love as there are people.

Me and my princess, we always had a deal that if one feels the other is getting involved with someone who is bad news, it's going to be called off. But then we all were on the same page about this.

[ Hence different experiences, but also circumstances ]

You're not a bad person for having feelings. Hearts tend to have a mind of their own that you can't really help.

As for DOING something about those feelings...I think it depends on the situation, but generally it's best to be open and honest to everyone involved.

You seem troubled. I suppose you must have spoken to them?

Feelings of love are always more complicated than we imagine them to be. Never easy.
But having those feelings will never make you a bad person.

...Do you like milkshakes?

You can not control how your heart feels. Life is complicated and love is not something as simple as finding it at first sight. However...

However, until a vow or arrangement has been made, do not trouble yourself. Only then will your word be your bond.

[ And she has NO clue how close to home she's hitting. :) ]

[He's taking this all in; Hiccup is not one to be dismissive of other people's cultures and the differences between everyone else's worlds and his. This problem he has... Hell, it's not of his world. It's of this one, and a solution is not likely to be found by looking to Berk.]

i guess you have a point. i don't love him in the same way i love her. they're very different, i could never replace one with the other. i never thought this might happen here, but i also never thought i'd be here this long.

she's okay with you... being with other people? as long as they're good for you?

i'm

i'm definitely going to leave out some details. no offense, but he's a private person and i might be used to being scrutinized but i don't think he is.

i guess... to start with, i'm betrothed back home. to a girl. we grew up together, and i love her, and she's my best friend. but i've been here for... nine months? ten? and i met this guy. we have a lot in common, and we've been through a lot, especially recently. he's my best friend here. but the other night, i found a letter that said he should tell me about his feelings for me, and he caught me and found out i read it.

he's known for months, that he likes me, but he never said anything because he thinks i don't feel the same. and i didn't know if i did but the more i think about how we are together, the more i think i do? i've never been very good at this, though. the girl i'm betrothed to was the first and only person i've ever been with.

and... i worry, too, that maybe it's just the bond. maybe it's not real.

yeah that's the catch. i can't talk to her about it because she isn't here.

that too. he's already told me he has romantic feelings for me. i just... never realized, because i'm an idiot, apparently, and it never occurred to me that maybe i'd ever have feelings for someone else, so i guess i just

glossed over everything and how we've been for a while. and now that it's out there, i'm realizing that this runs deeper, for me.

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