un: anonymous;

[thisisamazing]

Name: "anonymous" (Hiccup Haddock III)
Date: Feb. 2
Format: Text

some things recently came up and it has me thinking a lot. i'm not sure who else to ask this? the person i'd normally talk to is... part of it.

is it possible to have romantic feelings for more than one person at the same time? does that make you a bad person? i never had to consider it before because i thought everything would be simple, for me at least, but now it isn't so simple and i'm not

sure what to do

i don't want to hurt them

[ooc: Hiccup is posting anonymously but as this function isn't always reliable, let me know if you want him to anonfail! He's having some relationship troubles whoops.]

Comments

text/ un: Caster

[futhark]

I'm gonna throw a question right back at you. Why would that make you a bad person?

[thisisamazing]

isn't it betraying one person to fall in love with another person? and i can't talk to them about it. the first person, she's not here.

text. un: gioia.

[trouvaille]

Feelings are just feelings. They aren't good or bad, on their own. They don't make you good or bad, on their own. You make choices, and your choices are what impact people, so if you make shitty, stupid choices, that's what makes you an asshole. Not your feelings.

[thisisamazing]

then what's the asshole choice here? the last thing i want to do is hurt him, or the person i'm in love with back home. i care about them both and i'm

really close to both of them

text; undertown

[weirdnecro]

I see you didn't want to write in to my radio show! But anyway...

Yes, you can have romantic feelings for more then one person at the same time. And yes, it can be fine. It all depends on how you act on it, and if you can speak to all parties.

Talking things through is important.

[thisisamazing]

i haven't been in town much to listen to the radio.

[He's actually gliding over the city right now on dragon-back. Texting from the saddle. As you do. This is his 'thinking place'.]

that's the problem. one of them isn't here, and never has been. i'll never see her again if i never get home. i met the other here. i've been here for... months now, by myself, and he's always made me feel less alone.

and when we tried to talk the other day everything went all wrong.

text; un: exarch

[exarchal]

[... This is a Hyur thing, isn't it.]

Having feelings for someone does not make you a 'bad person'. As long as you are open and flexible toward the needs of all involved, it is not selfish to desire more than what you have.

There are societies on other worlds where one person may have multiple partners, and it is all encouraged—all for the life of the clan.

To live like that is work, but happiness usually is.

[thisisamazing]

[No, just a sad Viking who doesn't know what the hell he's doing thing.]

really? multiple partners? how does that work? they don't get jealous or upset?

is it really not selfish? he's meant a lot to me, even though we only met here. i might have screwed things up though, so maybe it doesn't even matter.

text; un: METTATON

[metalcrusher]

So you have an open heart... And plenty of love to give. Put that way, does it sound so bad, darling?

[thisisamazing]

no, i guess not. but is it bad to be with that second person while you can, when you can't even talk about things with the first? it feels like going behind her back or something.

un: super nintendo

[guesser]

anon-buddy, that’s called a harem

[thisisamazing]

what

NO

this is not a harem thing.

text | un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

I think it's pretty normal. After all, it's not like you spend time with only a small number of people for your entire lifetime.

[thisisamazing]

back home it sort of is. very small village, not many people in my age bracket. i never considered that i could have feelings for anyone but her, and then i met him.

text | un: Elliot Craig

[fiddlestick]

You're not a bad person for having feelings. Hearts tend to have a mind of their own that you can't really help.

As for DOING something about those feelings...I think it depends on the situation, but generally it's best to be open and honest to everyone involved.

[thisisamazing]

what if you can't be, because one isn't here in aefenglom? and maybe never will be. i don't know if i'll see her again for a while, considering it's already been months. and if i do... then i lose him. he's from another world entirely, so going home means

you know

text: un: (left blank)

[zewu_jun]

You seem troubled. I suppose you must have spoken to them?

Feelings of love are always more complicated than we imagine them to be. Never easy.
But having those feelings will never make you a bad person.

[thisisamazing]

never easy is right. i don't know how people do this. things were a lot easier when i thought

that you only find that kind of love once, and that's it.

text; un: stark

[definingfuture]

...Do you like milkshakes?

[thisisamazing]

uh

i think so? why?

text – un: khaleesi

[freeing]

You can not control how your heart feels. Life is complicated and love is not something as simple as finding it at first sight. However...

However, until a vow or arrangement has been made, do not trouble yourself. Only then will your word be your bond.

[ And she has NO clue how close to home she's hitting. :) ]

[thisisamazing]

that's the problem, honestly. i did find love at first sight. i've always loved her, always will, and i'm betrothed to her.

but i think seeing her again means i'll never see him again, because we're from different worlds, so if we go home, that's it. and he's meant so much to me here. i can't imagine this place without him.

un: nier

[extirpator]

I don't see why it wouldn't be. Love is love and relationships are complicated.

You should live how you want to live. That's the most you can do for yourself.

[thisisamazing]

that's selfish, though. it's not

it's not just about me.

[ Text; un: azurechevalier ]

[bad_crowmance]

It's definitely possible. That doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human.
As to what to do about it... that depends on a few different things.
Like first of all, do you WANT to do something about it?
Or would you be content to live on and ignore it?

[thisisamazing]

i don't want to go on just ignoring everything. i think that'd be worse. for me and for him. i already miss how we used to be, before all this. avoiding each other and things being awkward is... horrible.

text; un: grace

[seductless]

It is possible to have many feelings for many people. The heart is never so simple as people like to think.

[thisisamazing]

i guess i'm figuring that out now. what to do about it is... even more complicated, though.

[beariot]

I've been mulling over something like this myself, though I'm in a unique situation where all parties involved are aware of each other, and the feelings abound, and... seem to be okay with it?

I'm not sure if that's helpful or not, but it definitely feels like it's at least possible, and I don't. feel wrong for having these feelings. I'm just not sure how to handle it all, sometimes.

[thisisamazing]

i guess that's the ideal, that everyone is okay with it. i wish i could be so sure.

it's a lot to take in. i don't have much experience with relationships in the first place, i've only ever been in one and there's never been anyone else, until this guy here.

un: krihnn tia

[krihnnges]

[The cultural differences between Seekers of the Sun Miqo'te and... everyone else are pretty wild, in K'rihnn's opinion. At least he has experience enough with it to help a little. Maybe. Hopefully.]

As others have no doubt stated, it doesn't make you a bad person to feel those things.

I can't speak too much from experience in this situation, as mine is rather... strange and unique... but... if you don't want to hurt them, that will be difficult. Still, the effort to try mitigating that hurt will be worth it, in the end.

If your first partner in life isn't here, 'twould be best to talk with the other person you have feelings for. Tell them your feelings and why you feel conflicted, and then together you can work towards a solution that could suit your situation.

[thisisamazing]

wow, that

that seems really simple but i guess makes a lot of sense. i guess i just worry about putting my foot in my mouth again. things went badly the first time and it wasn't really a 'talk'.

text, un: vivelafrance

[thejoyrider]

Huh? But... How would it be possible to have feelings for just one person at a time?

[thisisamazing]

romantic feelings, not

not friendship, or anything like that, where it's normal to have them for more than one person at a time.

but where i'm from, i never saw many examples of having romantic feelings for multiple people...

un: 46692 ; text

[escardos]

ive never really had romantic feelings for anyone, but isn't it like having best friends? you can definitely have more than one best friend!

although it'd be pretty bad if the two don't like each other. is that what's happening?

[thisisamazing]

uh

apparently it's not

and i don't know. one of them isn't here.

text ; un: starcounter

[powerful]

it's definitely possible but it can get really messy really quick if you're not careful.

[thisisamazing]

as if i'm not figuring that out right now.

text;

[whydogs]

We'd have a lot more shitty people here if that were true.

It's not exactly easy to figure out, or deal with, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

Otherwise, I'd be right there with you.

[thisisamazing]

i didn't think it was such a common problem here. i feel kind of dumb.