PLATONIC FRIENDS NEEDED!

[enkidoh]

Name: un: enkidu
Date: 11th
Format: text

[It takes a lot of time tapping this message with less fingers but Enkidu manages.]

recently my truest friend has been summoned from the mirrors but for now he lacks platonic friends to spend time with. he has been living a solitary life as a king and i do not want him to be alone anymore.

his name is gilgamesh. he is very fond of his treasures and also knows the greatest stories about them. he enjoys wine as well. he is great to spar with and likes to go on adventures. his favorite color is gold. once he introduced me to beer and bread and allowed me to eat and drink everything i wanted.

would people like to become his platonic friend? or another sort of friend? as i know that many sorts of friendships are possible.

let me know if you have questions or want to meet him. he can be a bit fussy at first but please do not let it get to you. he has been alone. for a long time.

Comments

[gilgamess]

[ good that someone notices that he is, indeed, incredible... ]

Paper currency is truly a sort of nonsense which developed long after my reign. To produce something en masse devalues it.

[ he totally takes Flat's comment in the spirit it was meant. ]

For that matter, the sum of one million gold coins is also simply a King's tribute. It is not what you can call real value. For that, something must be rare, exquisite, one of a kind, or perhaps exceedingly grotesque, such as the tears of a crushed love or a once in a lifetime pain.

[escardos]

Oh, I understand!

[ does he? does he really?! ]

So it’s like the horror films I watched, where terrible people would be tortured in gruesome ways to get them to repent for their sins!

[gilgamess]

Absolutely not.

[ denied, Flat! ]

I am speaking of exalted deaths, not base ones. Moreover, as the King, it is for me alone to execute sentencing of the kind you describe.

My rule was prior to the law code of that Ur-Nammu and so later dictates of citizen justice should not apply. Even were it not, my justice is still absolute.

[ a careful observer might say that this has been very re-directed from the original topic of Enkidu's network message, but on the other hand, this is just How Gilgamesh Makes Small Talk, so if Flat is indulging him, he is more than happy to have an opinion on absolutely everything. ]

[escardos]

Oh man, you really are a king! But you’re no longer in your kingdom, though... Ur-Nammu...that’s Sumer, right? Or Babylonia...? I know it’s not Greece...or Egypt...

[ flat mumbles the last part to himself as he trails off to a different topic all together. it seems that someone has forgotten some of his lessons. ]

Either way! What does an exalted death mean to you, your golden Majesty? Not that I plan to die for anyone, but I’d love to hear your opinion!

[gilgamess]

Sumer, obviously. [ child, please. ] That Ur-Nammu did do one or two things of value, though I have yet to meet any heroic spirit of him. Hmph.

As to being apart from my kingdom -- that is indeed correct, but due to my A+ Charisma, I simply dominate all environments and force people to acknowledge me however I wish to be perceived.

[ Gilgamesh Is Too Meta For This. ]

That is in fact what it means to be King. I carry my demeanor with me at all times.

[ and really, that earns him ire, but as evidenced from other threads on this network post, it also earns him enough curious respect that there is some calculus of dividends for being kind of a charismatic ass.

to say nothing of all the inevitable good sex charismatic assholes somehow manage.

so you know, his incentives for dropping the idiosyncratic fuccboi kingly shtick are not especially high right now, even with no bling to speak of. is that a positive lesson on what it means to be a leader of the people, or what? governance, pfft. ]

But for your question... an exalted death is the conclusion of a legend. Are you familiar with the mongrels in those Grail Wars?

[ you know, Flat did use Enkidu's class title previously, so Gil can guess perhaps he is another in this world who is from (some pesky alternate version of) his own. ]

[escardos]

[ flat could pay attention to all the meta information....

or he could just focus on the one thing that is actually relevant to him. ]

Oh, oh! I'm a Master in the Grail War! And you're a Servant! But not mine. But yes, I know!

[gilgamess]

Are you? Hn, what an eccentric Master.

[ not that Flat would be the first. that Gatou, for example, had been nearly as strange. And Leo -- though really, Gilgamesh would say, Leo's oddities were more the eccentricities of the upper classes and royalty, that sort of hubris and bizarre character he of all people would know. and Rin could be said to be the female version thereof.

still, Flat's brand of eccentricity is its own category. Gilgamesh will figure that out later, if he cares enough to. ]

I cannot say you are anything like my Master. She is quite boring. She even hesitated to remove her underwear when it was required to progress in our level. Do you think I, the King, should hesitate to strip three times if it meant conquering an obstacle?

[escardos]

Do--do I what?!

[ flat may be incredibly eccentric as a master and with very skewed morals, but even that sort of remark is way too much for someone like him. his voice goes up a pitch, cheeks turning red with embarrassment as he unwillingly imagines the nude gilgamesh. ]

That's-- well-- what kind of hellish task is that?! That makes no sense!

[gilgamess]

[ et tu, Flat?

he never suspected that. ]

Ha. Did such tasks not exist in your Grail War?

[ he remains entirely casual. ]

I suppose that virtual SE.RA.PH was a somewhat difference place.