text; anonymous

[darkcharge]

Name: Anonymous | Vanitas
Date: 3/1
Format: Text



[ So Vanitas has been terribly frustrated for the last few days trying to figure this out himself. Unfortunately, he isn't really equipped to come to the answers on his own. ]

Normally I wouldn't bother with things like this, but it would appear that all my other options are exhausted or unavailable.

A little while ago I found myself experiencing some strong urges. I can't say that they are entirely unfamiliar, but the circumstances and conditions are different. Wanting to throttle someone and make them pay is nothing new, but because they hurt someone I am acquainted with is. So I suppose my question there is why. This person is perfectly capable of handling it themselves so why is it that I also want to?

Which brings me to the second issue since this is all tied to the same situation. The look this person had on their face? I didn't like it and I don't want to see it again. That is new and I don't know what that means or what it is at all.

This is probably a waste of time, but I can't figure it out. So here we are.

[ tl;dr: Vanitas might actually care about someone - or at least have something of an urge to protect them - but he can't recognize it at all because pfft he's not the sort that does that, right? ]

Comments

[darkcharge]

...Okay. Yes, I was. And?

[blackbonded]

And there's your answer. You can control your actions but not your feelings. It's like a compulsion deep in your chest you don't know what to do with. And if you're feeling that for someone, then all it means is you've come to care for them.

[darkcharge]

Are you telling me that I'm going to become a reckless idiot like all he others I know if this continues?

[ Because those dumb guys completely act on those compulsions. ]

[blackbonded]

[ He laughs. ]

Like I said, you can control your actions. But the moment, your feelings become more important than the consequences, yeah, you'll pretty much do idiotic things for them.

That's called living.

[darkcharge]

[ He hadn't wanted to, though. Live, that is. Vanitas had wanted to just fade and disappear entirely. ]

I didn't sign up for all of that nonsense.

[blackbonded]

No one ever does.

[darkcharge]

[ That's... A stupidly good point. Augh. ]

I don't really have an argument for that.

[blackbonded]

[ He laughs, an amused glint in his eyes. ]

Who says you have to argue? You have enough problems as it is.

Feelings aren't easy, you know. You're better off spending your time trying to figure them out.

[darkcharge]

I'm trying to figure them out. These ones are more complicated.

[blackbonded]

No feelings are ever easy. That's what makes them worth the trouble.

[darkcharge]

Some are easy. Anger, for example.