aefenglom | text; anonymous

Name: Anonymous | Vanitas
Date: 3/1
Format: Text

[ So Vanitas has been terribly frustrated for the last few days trying to figure this out himself. Unfortunately, he isn't really equipped to come to the answers on his own. ]

Normally I wouldn't bother with things like this, but it would appear that all my other options are exhausted or unavailable.

A little while ago I found myself experiencing some strong urges. I can't say that they are entirely unfamiliar, but the circumstances and conditions are different. Wanting to throttle someone and make them pay is nothing new, but because they hurt someone I am acquainted with is. So I suppose my question there is why. This person is perfectly capable of handling it themselves so why is it that I also want to?

Which brings me to the second issue since this is all tied to the same situation. The look this person had on their face? I didn't like it and I don't want to see it again. That is new and I don't know what that means or what it is at all.

This is probably a waste of time, but I can't figure it out. So here we are.

[ tl;dr: Vanitas might actually care about someone - or at least have something of an urge to protect them - but he can't recognize it at all because pfft he's not the sort that does that, right? ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Hey. Negative emotions he has down pat. He knows all about those. It's these more positive ones that leave him confused. ]

Only if I allow for them to, correct?

[ Which... Even Vanitas can acknowledge right now that he has no intention of stopping the current course. However letting anyone else get that close... Debatable.

He doesn't answer the Monster question because he doesn't wish for even more people to put tow and two together. ]

No. It isn't about self-discipline. You can't just will away these feelings unless you're able to go full cold turkey and cut this person out of your life completely. Which, for the record, I'd only suggest if they were hurting you somehow.

[ But this doesn't sound like a toxic relationship to Stiles – just a very confused individual who probably hasn't ever had a friend before. ]

[ ACTUALLY... Under normal circumstances, he entirely could. Just what form would these emotions take? ]

I wouldn't want that anyway. Perhaps at first, but not now.

[ She's one of the first people to have actually treated him well, after all. He can't just walk away from that, even if it would probably be for the best. ]

[ That's actually...cute. ]

Okay. That's off the table. The rest is pretty much inevitable. It sounds like you care for this person. Soooo your feelings for them will only get stronger the longer you know them. If friend is too new a word for you, why don't you think of them as an ally?

[ He's probably not capable of cutting himself off from a person anyway. Just look at he fact that he stayed with Xehanort and the Organization despite knowing he'll never get what he wants. ]

"Ally" isn't a good word either. I would have put down my former allies in a heartbeat if I thought it would have worked towards my benefit.

[ …Less cute. ]

Wow. That’s…unsettling.

[ Stiles isn’t so sure he should be offering advice to this person now. Maybe he should leave rehabilitation of potential serial killers to other people. ]

A little off topic here, but… You’re aware that kind of behavior is generally frowned upon in society, right?

Off-topic or not, what standard is that based off of? Who is it that gets to decide what is "right" and what is "wrong?"

Besides, those people and I were only using each other from the start. We weren't deluded enough to think we mattered to one another.

Oh my god, dude. Does this really deserve a philosophical discussion? Fine, I’ll play along. You can’t always trust society or the law to define what’s right versus wrong. Corruption exists everywhere. But people are typically born with an intact sense of morality. Hurting other people? Usually wrong, except

[ Except. Except except except except except except, except – ]

in self-defense.

[ His hand might be shaking a bit as he types that last message out, but no one will know that. ]

And if you weren't quite born, what then?

For that matter, what of war? What of in the protection of another? What if they took something irreplaceable from you?

[ Wasn’t born…? Oh my god, this is it. He’s finally got the right robot. Mettaton wouldn’t talk in this manner. So, this must be the robot mermaid, Connor! ]

Look at your owner’s manual, I guess? Unless your owner is evil, in which case I encourage you to do some soul searching. Unless you don’t have a soul, in which case we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation. Anyway.

Look, I’m not getting pulled further into this. Yeah, there are obviously situations with no clear-cut answer. But “putting down former allies” just because it would benefit you? That’s screwed up. Bottom line.

Wow, and you say I'm screwed up. Owner? What am I, some sort of pet?

Listen, "bottom line" is this: You don't know me. You don't know what I've seen, done, or what
would do to get what I want. What I need. So don't sit in a place of judgment because I guarantee you may think differently if roles were reversed.

You said it, not me.

Dude, I don't CARE what you've seen or done or what you want. It doesn't give you the right to do as you please for your own benefit. I'm going to comment on it. If you don't like that? Tough. And if you do that kind of shit in a city like this? You should expect consequences.

Funny you should say that. I already have done as I pleased. With the Coven's blessing in fact.

[ Which, to clarify, Van wants to become whole. His broken, shattered heart healed and completed. He had went to the Coven with this issue, realizing that he can't reunite with Ventus. The Coven's answer had been that Vanitas should seek out Bonds to repair the damage over time. Which he has done.

So what he says is true, if not misleading. ]

Congrats. But when you have the Coven's "blessing" it kind of negates the idiom's meaning.

[ Stiles doesn't trust the Coven; he harbors intense suspicions about their involvement in the Mirrorbounds' arrivals and departures. That said, he's a clever little shit who isn't going to take obvious bait like this without more meat to it. ]

You're free to think and believe what you will. I will do what I must and I will feel no shame in it.

Some things are too important to allow an outsider's opinion to change mine.

Cool. But keep in mind your actions won’t just impact you now. They’ll impact your person too, whatever they are to you.

And to be absolutely clear? Not a threat.

Not in this case.

I'm talking in general.

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