(no subject)

[selfishwish]

Name: Anonymous (Momiji Sohma)
Date: 03/04
Format: text;

Mirrorbound of Aefenglom:

Do you have a crush? Someone who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside? A person whose face you can't get out of your head? Springtime's almost here, and it's the perfect season for finding love!

But...taking the first step can be intimidating, too! Especially if your special someone is from a whole different world or time. How can you know they feel the same way, or that they don't have eyes for someone else? Sometimes, you're just not ready to confess aloud.

Don't despair! If that sounds familiar, just contact

♥ The Aefenglom Secret Admirer Service ♥
For a modest fee, our intrepid investigator can burrow into the secrets of the object of your affection's heart, so you can confess with confidence! Or deliver a secret admirer gift or letter to express your feelings from afar! Complete discretion guaranteed.

For more information, or to contact your secret admirer agent, don't hesitate to reply to...

--

((OOC: The message goes on to include the Aef equivalent of a "work phone" number for Momiji at the Particularly Good Finders office, to maintain relative anonymity, but private IC inquiries can be directed to his inbox. For more OOC info about the Service and a sign-up form, see here!))

Comments

un: hakunon

[sealeted]

So, it's one part private investigator, one part courier service?

[selfishwish]

Exactly!

But we make all our deliveries in secret, so your identity stays hidden. That's the Secret Admirer guarantee!

un: nier

[extirpator]

Isn’t that just stalking?

[selfishwish]

Not at all!!

Our service does only discreet and reputable private investigations.

[This may be a canned line his bosses at the office suggested. They assure him there's a difference!]

[extirpator]

[ sounds fake but you know what. it's none of his business, go off king. ]

How're you supposed to figure out if they like your client or not?

I don't think most people have shrines. Or make eggs in the face of their beloved or something like that.

[selfishwish]

But if they did have a shrine you'd probably want to know, right??

[There's an extended beat between messages.]

Just kidding! Everybody's different, and sometimes our investigation might not be clear-cut! But there's a lot you can learn about people by asking questions and poking around.

[extirpator]

[ that beat is...concerning, yeah. ]

Well if things go south, call me. I can do damage control.

text | un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

I agree with what's been said. This is just stalking with extra steps.

un: bluetestament

[strikeheaven]

If you can't attract someone on your own, you should really work on that before doing something as depressing as paying for help.

[selfishwish]

That's not a nice way to think about it at all. Sometimes people are shy and need a little help!

We're just helping them work up the nerve to make a first connection!

[strikeheaven]

You don't think it'd be creepy to get a confession from someone who knows something about you they shouldn't?

anon

[escardos]

is that what a crush is like? fuzzy feeling and can't get them out of your head?

[ well that just makes him think... ]

what if your heart beats really fast when you're near them!? and you want to hold their hand???? does that count too??

[selfishwish]

Sometimes.

Oooh, yeah, those sound like symptoms for sure! A severe case!

[escardos]

ahaha that sounds great!

well, i'm not really interested in the stalking service, but what do you think i should do?