Text | un: PrincessAllura | time for more silly network shenanigans

[quintessent]

Name: Princess Allura (un: PrincessAllura)
Date: 9/10
Format: Text

I have a question directed to the Earthlings who were brought here.

Before I came to this planet, my experience with humans was brief. As such, my knowledge of their culture is largely limited and something I have been working at understanding for some time now.

To get to the point: I am curious about human friendship rituals. Is handholding a common practice among friends?


…


And what about kissing?

[AHEM. Not lingering on that one for too long. Definitely asking for a friend and not because she’s been casually smooching her bond for awhile now and still they are acting like it means nothing. As you do.]

I only ask this because I have seen a lot of different behavior since I arrived here that is different from the culture I was raised in and do not wish to misinterpret the meanings. Thank you.

Comments

[polterguide]

It's always good to know that going down is always an option.

What happened to the rest of the world?? How are there only five?

[It wouldn't shock them at all if Onni was from a world where America just stopped existing, because it's America and life is a nightmare, but. Only five?]

[scowlish]

If you say so.

[No, sorry, that's useless information. As far as Onni is concerned he'll probably end up as a 60-year-old virgin someday and be totally fine with it. Unless he dies a couple of months after he gets home.]

The same thing that happened in Finland, I imagine. Nearly everyone died and turned into monsters.

[polterguide]

[...

In for a penny, in for a pound.]

What, are you saying you wouldn't lighten up if someone went down on you?

Oh.

Yikes.

[scowlish]

I doubt it.

[If only Bailey could see how deadly serious he is.]

Yes. Yikes about sums it up.

[polterguide]

Sounds like you have no experience with orgasms.

[scowlish]

And your point is...?

[polterguide]

Well, if you know, you know, but since you don’t know then you don’t know that orgasms can trigger the release of various brain chemicals such as oxytocin, serotonin, and norepinephrine.

Which are things associated with pleasure, affection, et cetera.

[scowlish]

Okay. Well. I have more important things to worry about than all of that.

[polterguide]

I mean...

If you've never jacked it before it would probably take no time at all, so it's not like you'd be wasting your time.

[scowlish]

I didn't say that.

I just don't understand why people are so surprised I don't care about this stuff.

[polterguide]

It’s almost like people will live better lives if they allow themselves pleasures whether that’s carnal or not or something.

[scowlish]

Mostly I'm focused on just continuing to live.

[polterguide]

[They are going to kick you right in the ass, Onni.]

Surviving and living are very different things. Is a miserable life where you take no risks truly better than a shorter life that you enjoy to its fullest?

[scowlish]

[Please stop challenging his status quo. That is the worst thing you could possibly do to Onni Hotakainen.]

Yes.

[polterguide]

Well, I’ll have to disagree with you. I would rather die young knowing I did everything I could to be happy.

[scowlish]

That's fine. I disagree with a lot of people.

I'm probably going to have a short life, but I'd rather not. And I really do have more important things to do than all that.

[polterguide]

Well, that's surprising.

Like what? If you say you have things to do back home, that doesn't count. You can't impact things there so you shouldn't be worrying about it until you actually can.

[scowlish]

Maybe not. I've been told that time doesn't pass back home, but I can still make plans here, and I can't afford to get soft.

[polterguide]

I sweat to God, you are incredibly frustrating. You're not going to get soft by having some fun once in a while!!

[scowlish]

I don't know what's so frustrating about just having a different opinion from you.

[For a long few moments he leaves it at that, but there's the disturbing knowledge bubbling up in the back of his mind that all his retorts to the second half of that sound pathetic. He hasn't had fun in years. He doesn't know how to have fun. It's stupid, and he doesn't know why that bothers him.]

I haven't had fun in years, there's no point in starting now.

[polterguide]

It’s not the difference of opinion, it’s the refusal to believe that, just maybe, you deserve to enjoy yourself and be happy.

[Lord, give them strength.]

Of course there’s a point. The point is you can find something that’ll make you smile, that you’ll always remember, that just... Makes things better. Just because you’ve been forced to live a life where you weren’t afforded the luxury of having fun doesn’t mean you shouldn’t embrace the chance to have it when it’s given to you.

[How did this conversation end up here...]

[scowlish]

[All of that is too complicated and he's abruptly feeling backed into a corner, because this reminds him of how Tuuri talks to him sometimes. It's frustrating and infuriating and he misses her so much it hurts.]

It isn't about deserving or not deserving. I won't be remembering anything forever, because I'm probably going to be dead a month or two after I get home one way or another! It doesn't matter.

[Great. Now his eyes are starting to sting. How did this even happen?]

[polterguide]

[Hey Onni: Get fucked.]

I don’t know why you’re so sure you’re going to die so soob, and maybe you will but...

Isn’t that all the more reason to enjoy life while you can? If you’re on a timer, why not make the most of your life outside of the timer? You won’t get this opportunity and home so why are you so afraid of embracing it? It’s not going to make you incapable of doing what needs to be done when you go back home.

[They can and they will fight him about this until they physically can’t anymore.]

[scowlish]

[...it won't make him incapable of doing what he has to when he gets home? Yeah right. Having accepted his fate is the only thing that allowed him to stop being too afraid to leave home after Tuuri. The last thing he needs is to find reasons to be scared of dying again.]

You don't know that. I don't want to talk about it anymore.