aefenglom | Under new management? Dontation seeking? We just don't know

Uh... [Give her a moment to count that Styx. Then to blink as she realises just how long it's been. How long she's been in this place.] Just over five months now.

[Still just kinda staring at the not-cat. Bro, bro, she's been here just under a year now. So much can happen in a year and she's just been here living in relative peace compared to back home.

It'd be nice if she didn't occasionally just wonder if the time-freeze thing was true. There were so many what-ifs. What if the world was done? But then again Eren was here, but Jean had said she'd been there. She didn't voice any of that though, and after thinking for a moment she just gave a huff.]

I've had Tater seven months now. [And just look at him. He was still very baby. Even if he'd gotten a little bit bigger than when she'd been given him. He was small, growing so slowly she didn't notice half the time.]

Hey, that's awesome! Lotta anniversaries coming up, huh?

[not birthdays, because that was different - despite the fact that animals sure as fuck didn't keep track of their own birthdates. but Styx still seems to be enthused by this concept that doesn't involve him at all, plopping down completely on the floor so he can look up at the fae more comfortably. it was nice for Mikasa to have so many things to celebrate.]

Maybe he'll tell you his name when you hit a year.

... Five months is a long time. [Styx. But after a moment, her mouth twitched into a soft, joyless smile. A sigh slipping from her lips.] When I first got here, I didn't even what chickens in case I went home. Now look- [A small shrug, gesturing to the cat as she knelt to pet Tater. There were actual chickens outside.] I wonder what will happen to them if I'm not here a year...

[Though she was getting close. It was winter, she'd arrived during the last cold season so... Was it bad that she wasn't sure about going back sometimes? She knew she had to, to help Armin and the others. The world. Even if time was frozen, it felt wrong to enjoy the extra time she'd been granted, but she couldn't just hide away.

It really was cruel.]

You think so? Guess you're right.

[time really...didn't mean that much to Styx. he took everything one day at a time, for better or for worse, ignorant of the turning of the calendar pages until some milestone forced reflection upon him. five months were just five sets of thirty, weren't they? it's not that much. a year was like...twelve sets of thirty. way more.

but math isn't particularly important, not when he can feel the melancholy radiating off of Mikasa whether she'd intended it or not. it feels wrong - intrusive - to look at her right now, and so the drummer allows his gaze to wander across the house and all the items within it while his friend gives the dog a pew nice pats.]

Well...uh, I'll probably just check on them if somebody else doesn't do it first.

[it's not even a statement conceived out of a desire to ease the fae's worries. Styx's mind reaches that conclusion naturally on its own, as if there really could be no other way for things to unfold should his host ever find herself returned home to that strange, unkind world of hers.]

[Honestly, that was probably for the best. She'd lived day to day for so long, because someone could be killed and that was it. It was the same here in a few ways, people could just vanish. But back home there was...the moment. There was surprise attacks, but normally she had a chance to try and stop anything from happening, to cling to the lives of the people she cared about just a little bit longer.

Here? They could just fade away.

But Tater was happy with his pets, instinctively cuddling up. Why sad? He here!

Though he did settle again as the fae slumped. The words sinking in.]

Thank you. If... If I did go back home I'd forget about them. So I'm glad someone could come and make sure they got fed.

...Have you looked after animals before then? [If he was offering out of the blue.]

[did people who left forget? Styx has heard that those returned to their worlds lose their memories, but...he finds it difficult to believe that such a massive part of anyone's life could be wiped away so easily. even if they don't remember, this place - these people - must surely be embedded deep in their hearts.

...that's probably a stupid thing to say. the drummer doesn't have the sort of self-assurance to just philosophize unprompted, and so he allows the topic to drop entirely with nothing but a warm smile. of course he'd come take care of Mikasa's friends. it's what any friend would do.]

Not really! Got a cat 'nd a fish here, but back home the most I ever did was feed the stray cats around the apartment. Always been kinda afraid of hurting a pet, you know?

[Mikasa couldn't help but expect the worst. If life had taught her anything, it was that there could always be a kick in the teeth. But she was from a very different place to most. One where someone wouldn't normally volunteer to obtain another mouth to feed. Something she remembered from when Carla and Grisha had taken her in, that someone's response to it had been to call them well off.

The mention of a fish for pet gets an eyebrow. But his mention of hurting an animal was enough to distract her from wondering what comfort a fish could give.]

No... Why would you hurt them? Other than the chickens... [Because chickens were a meat animal, even if she'd named them and was using them for eggs at the moment.]

[he holds his hands up for her to see, spreading the fingers out to display the impressive span they could reach at their widest. big, powerful hands...fastened to a body that was just as strong, if not more.]

'm used to how I am now, but accidents still happen sometimes, you know? And when I was still growing...

[he lets the sentence trail off with a shrug, followed by another good-natured laugh. puberty had been difficult for him even without the input of his contemporaries. how easy would it have been to crush something vital in an animal as a teenager, just from squeezing too hard when he went to pick it up? the risk just wasn't worth it.]

[That gets a frown. She got it, given her own strength and even she'd mentioned he was a big guy. And now she thought of it, she did remember a few times where she'd accidentally hurt Eren when they were younger. Shoving food in his face so hard it split his lip.]

You were clumsy...[More of an observation than a question.] Are you less clumsy now? If you have a cat.

[it's easy for people to relate to, Styx thinks. even if it's not always physical strength, didn't everyone have some aspect of themselves they were afraid might hurt the ones they loved without meaning to?]

I was real bad.

[he laughs. at least most of the physical stupidity that befalls him now is due to his idiocy rather than ignorance of his power.]

Uh, dunno if I ever really got better? With animals, I mean...'m still kinda afraid of hurting them. But Yasha can teleport! So if he's not cool with anything he just ducks out for a little while. Makes it easy like that.

[Clumbsyness wasn't much of a thing were she was from. At least not the military part. Connie and Sasha had been considered clumsy to some degree but compared to a civilian they'd been coordinated. Even as trainees. That was just how it was.

So for a moment, Mikasa just tried to mentally picture it. A younger Styx being clumsy. Did he have the piercings then or?? Though the mention of teleporting cats makes the fae stare again. Because she'd heard that before, seen them.]

Is he one of those cats that they wanted help looking after a few months ago? [She remembered them. Partly because one teleported into the fucking food bag. It was adorable but not fun to clean. But then after a moment, she took a tiny step closer, then crouched so she could reach Tater who was waddling around. Circling the human and fae and running back and forth.] ...He must like you. You can't make an animal that can do that stay.

[She trying]

Uh, maybe? I don't really know that much about where he came from...a friend found him but couldn't keep him.

['found' is an awfully underwhelming way to say 'had a kitten unexpectedly teleported onto his head while walking down the street' but Styx has always looked at things through a kinder lens than reality might suggest. he leans back on the palms of his broad hands, a smile playing on his lips as he watches Tater stop his toddling rounds to solicit pets from his mother.]

Mean, I think he likes me? Sure as hell love him, haha! But 's hard, sometimes, just letting it sit like that. Always feel like the other shoe's gonna drop someday.

[this is not entirely about just Yasha now, but the drummer is completely ignorant to the deeper meaning behind his own words. the dog's just too cute to understand the level of insecurity he's confessing to.]

Oh... [Well, that made her face fall. Because a lost animal found- If it had been Mikasa who'd stumbled on it, she'd have been compelled to keep and care for it. It didn't sound like the little thing had been in a good situation. But she looks up again, staring at Styx.] It's good he has someone to look after him.[You were doing a good thing Styx.]

[Absently she stuck her hand out, just low enough to brush Tater's back as he plodded by. His wagging tail bumping her palm. Prompting him to give a little yip, dipping his head to do the butt wiggle. Then running off to...Make a valent attempt to climb over Styx's leg. Can't catch him mom!

Though his words did make her think. Even if she didn't catch on fully. But yeah, this place had way of things seeming too good to be true. To the point that Mikasa was always wary of being caught off guard by the cost. That and she knew the feeling of loving something that could vanish at a moment's notice. Enough for a small sigh to slip out as her hand dropped.] If he wanted to leave, he would. But he's still there...

[Was she talking about the cat or??]

Edited 2021-01-10 00:04 (UTC)

[it was definitely a good thing to have Yasha in his care, although the drummer would wager that he was the one benefiting the most from the cat's presence. the big guy laughs when Tater toddles over to try and use his leg as a defensive fortification, thoughtfully holding out his hand to give the little dude a boost when he slides down the second or third time. truly he is a runaway train who will never be caught.]

...hm?

[Styx isn't smart in the least, but as he glances back up at his friend's expression he feels like...something in the conversation has deepened. when had that happened?]

Yeah, I guess. But you still wonder sometimes, right? You know, like, if they're just hanging around 'cause they haven't found somewhere better to go yet.

[maybe he's misreading the situation and making this grossly awkward, but - well, it wouldn't be the first time. hopefully Mikasa will just think he's still talking about the cat and not confessing to some really gross insecurities that still linger in his everyday thoughts.]

[Styx, your hand is blessed with one fuzzy feetie perching on it. Then the second and the tiny dog was huddling in the crook of crossed legs. Ears just about poking up as he looked back to Mikasa, tail wagging. He was Hidden.

Not that Mikasa was looking, still wistfully glancing away.]

Yeah... [The feeling of always been left behind. Now things seemed to have settled and yet, she still couldn't shake the feeling that it was only temporary. That it'd all change in the blink og an eye. But then again, it could, couldn't it? The mirrors meant she could just vanish without a trace in the blink of an eye.

She sighs, shaking her head. She didn't want to talk about it. As nice as Styx was.]

...So... Do you know how to do this 'grab bag' thing?

[such a tiny footie...so soft. although Styx's gaze doesn't move from his friend's face, unwilling to demean the emotions he can feel rippling beneath that calm facade, a big hand does descend to give that fluffy little head a gentle pat. good boy. you are truly the Splinter Cell of doggos.

he's...kind of glad that Mikasa is wise enough not to divulge her worries to him beyond the surface level. the drummer already knows that he isn't someone worthy of holding those fragile things in his hands. not yet, anyway. there was still a long road for him to walk.]

Uh. [oh, right. the grab bag! he'd completely forgotten why they were here in the first place by now.] Oh, uh, yeah! 's real simple...just wrap the gifts up 'nd put them all in a big bag.

[He was a silent potato, remaining still and in wait. Like Mikasa seemed to be waiting. Eren was... A topic. A very complicated topic. One she'd gotten weary of talking about with people who weren't friends after that conversation all those months ago with his seconded bonded. She wasn't keen to be told what she should feel or what she should forgive like she'd been in the wrong for being upset.

Not again. It wasn't worth the risk. Better not to broach the topic than lose all respect for another person she'd liked.

So she remained silent. Only giving a nod.]

It sounds like it'd be good for them... Do you have any ideas about what you'd get?

[that, at least, was something that Mikasa would never have to worry about - there was nothing worth respecting about Styx, not in his own mind.]

I think so too! Lots of them never had nothing that was just theirs, so I figured...it'd be nice. Your own stuff is important.

[and, he thinks, the topic might be good for his friend as well. something light to chase out the dark cloud threatening to settle in her mind and heart.]

'm hoping people'll donate a bunch of shit, and then I'm probably gonna try and hit up a toy store or something soon 'nd pick stuff out too. Games 'nd dolls 'nd like, little army dudes or something...gonna depend on what they've got, you know?

[She frowned at the mention of little army dudes, but sighed it off. She still vaguely remembered kids playing titan and the play fights. Even if she thought there was nothing grand about fighting, kids seemed to think otherwise.]

Yeah... I've never really looked. Though I've seen balls made out of leather here.

[Something that had been pretty surprising at the time. Leather was a limited resource with so many uses. The idea of it being used for something as simple as a children's toy would have been a waste.]

Really? They bounce pretty high?

[the question is rather stupid, given the fact that these were balls they were talking about here, and after a moment's pause Styx actually does recognize the idiocy of his own words. laughing, he shakes his head and speaks up again in the hopes of clarifying.]

Never seen any at home that weren't made of rubber, 's all.

No, they seemed pretty heavy to the kids... [She'd not thought much of them. But the children hadn't been able to throw them far... maybe that was the point? She wasn't sure.]

I wonder if they're used for different things. There was that...sports day during the summer where they had games with different balls too. I couldn't play most of them though.

[She just didn't know the rules.] The rugby one was fun at least...

[a ball that's used for heavy things...that seems so weird? Styx can't help but make a thoughtful noise, rubbing at the back of his neck as he contemplates what the hell anyone would use that for. he's not coming up with much.]

Oh, uh, that's the one where you just hit each other a ton until somebody wins, right?

[that...could be like almost any sport you just described, Styx. athletics clearly isn't his strong suit.]

[Mikasa lifted her head from where she'd been looking at... His lap, where Tater was huddled. Blinking.]

No? That's fighting... I got told to leave because I hit people too much. [That was not at all a worrying thing to say.] You have to get a ball from one side of a field to the other. But people have to stop you.

[They are sports champs!] It was the only good game they had. [She'd enjoyed being a tiny wreaking ball anyway. Nothing like someone being confident they could stop the < 6 foot fae only to be knocked on their ass.]

Yeah? Really thought you had to hit people for that one...huh!

[but Mikasa clearly knows better and he's perfectly willing to accept this information as fact. not like he can really glean the actual rules from the way she'd explained them - which makes him laugh.]

Not like I'd know! Nobody needed me to play with them for shit like that.

[That makes her look him up and down. Staring for a moment...]

Really? You look like the type of person they'd want...[That had been part of the amusement, tiny fae running straight at people like him.]

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