video; un: styx

[tothemetal]

Name: Styx
Date: 01/09
Format: video

[Styx doesn't really like to use the voice function, let alone video. but he's got a question that would greatly benefit from some visual aid, so...enjoy your view of a fish tank, network. there's a single resident inside just chilling, weaving his way around the lush plants and the decorative skull without a care in the world. the skull's eye sockets are continuously changing colors, but that doesn't seem to bother him.

this is a much nicer view than his stupid face for sure.]

Um, hey! You guys have tattoos where you're all from? Just mean in general, not, uh...actually on you or nothing, haha.

[it would kind of be a pointless question if they already had a piece done, wouldn't it? this was off to a great start already.]

I'm gonna get a new piece done real soon, but 'm kinda stuck on what to do with the design. There's just so much killer shit, you know? So I thought maybe if I heard what everybody here's into it'd help me pick something out...'nd if not at least I'll get to see some cool stuff!

[the camera shifts now, briefly glimpsing an extremely large man before it narrows in on what is presumably that same massive guy's upper arm and the wicked tattoo on display.]

This is what I already got! Picked it 'cause it went with my name, but I dunno if I should do more skulls again? Be like too much of a good thing, you know?

Oh, hey, Soren! Dunno if you're listening but you should check everybody's shit out too! 's your money 'nd all, I wanna get something you think's awesome.

Comments

[silentsavant]

[This unabashed sentimental outpouring of his fondness for his aefenglom connections is not Soren's speed, but it's text, so it's easier to deal with behind a screen. He just... cannot relate. He feels the opposite. Certainly, there are a few he has come to value here, but his experiences cannot tweak the immutable part of what makes Soren really tick. He wants to go back where he belongs, even if... there is a source of uneasy hesitation about that now that wasn't there not too long ago.

...]

Why do you like it here so much? Is it better than the life you had before?

[That, or he's died... and hasn't got any life left to return to.]

[tothemetal]

haha not really !
i means its definitely cooler ?
where im from doesnt have magic or anything other than humans
mean
it dont have stuff like the cwyld either but people still get sick sometimes so i guess thats kinda the same

so like thats really killer ?
getting to cast spells and shits not something i ever thought id ever be allowed to do
but mostly i love it cause of the people
ive got some killer friends here you know ?
just
theyre fucking amazing
and if id never been pulled through that mirror i wouldnt even know they existed
its kind of wild

its really lucky you know ?
ive never had so many people who let me care about them

[people who cared about him in return...but that's a selfish way to put it, and he doesn't want to diminish his friends' glow by adding that on.]

[silentsavant]

[somehow, Styx is even more of a headache to parse in text than he is in person. He types out all of his rambling and his filler words and his bits of foul language and slang that he would commit in a verbal conversation, even when he has the time to consider his words. At any rate, he can definitely hear his voice on these messages.]

I struggle to conceive of a world where magic doesn't exist. From the perspective of someone who never had it, I can see where it might seem strange and novel enough to get excited about. You can accomplish certain mundane tasks like doing laundry or setting fire to things in a new way, for example... among more remarkable examples, like healing a wound in less than a minute.

[He does the mature thing and resists making a salty remark about how unlucky he is, how his best friend isn't here, even if he feels a twinge of envy for his ability to see this jarring development that brought him to a foreign reality in such an insufferably positive light. But it's also too personal, irrelevant, and it sounds like Styx may have had almost no friends until coming here.

Soren knows what that's like. He has no idea if the reasons are any bit similar. Probably not. Nowadays, most of it is because he, well... doesn't let people in so readily. Even now, he doesn't have as many people he could call a friend as Styx does. The desire to make them left and right just... isn't there. If it ever would have been a facet of his personality, it died long, long ago.]

You don't need someone's permission to care about them. If I told you to stop caring about me, what would you do?

[tothemetal]

[it's a testament to the sincerity of his speech, if nothing else...even when given the opportunity to really think about what he wants to say, Styx chooses to converse in the exact same way.]

uh
i mean
id try ! since you asked and all
really would
but im not good at that kind of thing to start with so it probably wouldnt go too well
especially since its you and all

[for no reason that any rational bystander would be able to discern, the big guy has come to care about Soren quite a lot. he doubts that he'd be able to last longer than a week and a half of actively trying to not give a shit about the surly little dragon.]

but if it was really important to you that i didnt give a shit id probably just stay away anyhow
you know since thats kind of the same as not actually caring
which i guess is what i mean when i say people let me ?
know you cant really stop someone from feeling however they feel but you can still push them away
and here everybody lets me hang around
never had that before

[not outside of the band. it...really does feel like a miracle.]

[silentsavant]

"Especially" since it's me?

[What? Why does he get special treatment? He's beginning to think he has a way with idiots. Is this partly because he thought to return the gift-giving gesture? Does he think they're closer than they are? He clearly didn't do a good enough job at keeping him at a comfortable arm's length away. Then again, he had been a help whenever he showed up to do some of the heavier lifting, so it's not like he had any reason to make it seem like he wasn't welcome there beyond withdrawing into extended silences and conveying disinterest in holding most idle and especially vapid conversations with him.

A bit of sympathy worms its way in. never had that before. Soren's desire to make many friends may have been stifled at an early age, but it didn't mean being harshly rejected by everyone you met didn't hurt severely.

Hmm. Keeping him around for his utility cannot be completely to blame, either, though. That said, he can see why some people might be reluctant to "let" him care about them if they're easy to annoy or embarrassed by associating with him. Soren falls more into the former category.]

Why do you think they pushed you away, anyway?