You are more than just your purpose to those around you, Xichen. It is a worthy wish, to protect those important to you, but none of us are so simple that that can encompass all we are.

And yes, I do believe people can change. The fact that you want to is half the battle fought, I think. Past mistakes... they can be painful, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't look back on them with clearer eyes. It gives us a better understanding of ourselves and sometimes makes the path ahead of us clearer still.

I don't know what's happened between you and your Bonded. But if you close your eyes, focus on what you feel that Bond should be, what is it you want of it most? What connection do you crave that will ease your heart, Xichen? And what is it you want to be for your Bonded?