aefenglom | Voice; UN: Deneuve

Entry tags:

Voice; UN: Deneuve

Name: M; UN: Deneuve
Date: 3/1/21
Format: [Voice]

[There's a short blip of silence; Mello knows that even his voice can be identified if needed and traced. But he remembers the pain in his chest. The swirling of the delivery truck's mirror, and everything after that, well — ]

[A sharp clearing of his throat. It's so dry.]

I know what I've been told.

[Everything is bullshit until proven otherwise.]

And I know what I'm expected to believe.

[Definitely lies. And for one: he knows he's died. It doesn't take a previous heart attack in his situation to recognize one when it tears at your chest and throat and breath like a visceral assault. Besides, he was always due for one: wasn't he?]

I don't expect honesty from anyone. [And yet here he is: reaching out. Because what else can he do?] But a Witch?

[Or so he's been told. How appropriate. Another pause; another breath.]

Is this Hell?

[He's seen nothing that leads him to believe otherwise. The mirror with the objects and reflections from home. The things that just don't make sense. Maybe someone will honestly reveal that yes, he's earned this. Maybe not.]

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Just one thing.

Keep your distance, at least for awhile. It would be better if you don't come looking for me.

[He means for his voice to sound gentle, neutral. Instead, it's as though it's sprouted tiny, but noticeable, thorns.]

[Be more obvious. Reverse psychology is a thing used on infants; and Mello is a man. Has been since before he could purchase a single pint. He outright laughs in response; does this devil think he's so simple?]

And why would I look for you.

[Bitter. Because you are not you. Just an effigy.]

I don't pretend to understand why.

[That's for you to figure out, once you understand that this is all real.]

Just don't, and we'll both be better for it.

[There's a very real possibility that, after nearly 2 years here, Mello wouldn't even recognize him.]

[Does this thing really think Mello is going to play its game?]

[The light chuckle that comes from the back of his throat is more wry than genuine. Something in this hurts, but that's what it wants, isn't it? Besides, Mello doesn't believe in pain beyond the physical. Never has. He swears by it, after everything.]

If you know me so well — [Bitter.] — why do you think I believe you are who you pretend to be? I'm not fucking stupid, you know.

[It knows. So what is it doing?]

[Impatiently]

I've already told you that I'm not who you think I am. I don't mean you harm, and I don't mean to deceive or mislead you.

I just don't want you to look for me. Take it at face value; it should be a simple matter.

So why contact me, then?

[It wants it. Wants it because it would be the easiest path into Mello's head, wouldn't it?]

[Yeah. It would. But he's not going to fall for it. Not now, anyway. The clicking sound of a nail scratching along the edge of the device might be noticed; maybe not. This hits too deep; it throws Mello off. And it knows it.]

You're obvious.

[Scoff.]

Because either way, you're going to find out. Why draw it out unnecessarily?

[You'd feel led on; I'd feel cornered.

L's voice is getting increasingly terser. Mello's new; Mello has no memories of the time he was last here. L's still finding it surprisingly difficult to remain unflappable and indifferent.]

There are no shortage of others who remember you and will be more than glad to walk you through the paces, I'm sure.

So you're gonna be the one to walk me through?

[Ha. If only. This thing is leading him on beyond what Mello is mentally prepared for — L is dead — but L isn't in Hell, is he?]

[Is he? Mello knows what the job entails. Is it possible that — ]

[And this devil sounds unnerved. (Trust nothing). Even though his hands are shaking; even though his fingers are trembling. This is bullshit.]

You're gonna, what. [Aggressive, now.] Protect me from them? You told me to stay away.

[And he means it; he really does.] You stay away.

[He now has not one, but two Bonded urging him to end this conversation. Regardless of how it happened, it was never going to be on his terms, was it?

It's peace, at least for now. He swallows; his throat is so dry.]

I'm glad we're of an understanding.

You haven't told me why you chose to contact me.

If you are who you say you are — [It's going to take a lot for M to believe it.] — you could easily have chosen to hide.

[Maybe Mello would have found him; maybe not.]

You want something from me aside from being left alone.

[After a several hours of thought and several strange and uneven conversations with people who care about him, but have reasons to be angry at him now, L realizes that maybe that is true.

Maybe he does want something else. It's a demand born of the fury and indignity he's kept corked up for over a year, both self-righteous and absolutely unacceptable. He doesn't wish harm or retribution on his successor, except... well, except for the part of him that perhaps does. Ire, at least, seems deserved, though he tries to keep it from his tone, the tenseness from his shoulders.]

Hiding buys nothing that isn't temporary. I need you to know my wishes, and I need it expressed on record.

[Being of sound body and mind, and all.]

Edited 2021-03-03 20:14 (UTC)

[Two days come and go before Mello replies; there's been a lot to take in. He believes two things: 1. This is not Hell and 2. He has, in fact, been here before. Both are jarring and confusing, but there's too much proof to fight against it as truth.]

[So he switches to video, because what's a voice when your face has already been revealed? His expression is resigned yet curious. He doesn't quite understand what has happened with L, or why. Only that they were Bonded, and apparently that didn't go well.]

I'm not going to come after you, if that's what you're worried about.

[L seems. Very worried about this, in fact.]

But I have questions. I recall meeting you one time, when I was a child. What I've been told is that we were Bonded last I was here. Judging by your reaction to my arrival, I assume this didn't turn out well.

[Grave.]

You can tell me how bad it was and why, or we can agree to stay out of each other's way. Obviously, I'd prefer the former.

[Perhaps a bit bitter.]

Edited 2021-03-03 20:40 (UTC)

[L does not follow suit and also make the switch. His non-action is a significant statement in itself.

He speaks softly, precisely, guardedly.]

Eli's the source you should direct your questions to. He knows more than I do about the events of our world, post-L and post-Kira.

[He grapples with how much he should say about their Bond, whether he should say. Finally, he settles on just a few words that really do manage to say it all, bleak and sanitized.]

I gave you a chance to hurt me, and you took it.

[Only a voice again, then. But that's what L always was, wasn't he? A voice, a stack of case-files. Except for that one time and, well. That didn't really mean much in the end, did it? Near closed the case, after all.]

[Is L attempting to hide his expression? Is he dismissing Mello by doing this? What does it matter. A long, long breath before he responds. No, none of this matters because as far as Mello is concerned, it never happened.]

I trust him more than I do you.

[Sorry, L. Mello doesn't even fucking know you.] I'll take it up with him. It's ultimately inconsequential.

[Which it is. Could have been him. Could have been a different version of him, based on what he now understands these 'alternate worlds' operate.]

You gave me a chance to hurt you —

[Why? Really. Why?]

Were you testing me? I don't understand.

[Really, he doesn't.]

That's reasonable. I would trust him more, as well, in your situation.

[His tone doesn't change. With some time and distance from this conversation's beginning, everything he says is both calmer and more intentional.]

Quite simply, I made a mistake.

[Something that's happened before, and will, again.]

[It's true that Mello and Near have both worked with and against each other. But it that was all part of the game, wasn't it? N had openly voiced his willingness to work with Mello, but M is convinced to this day that it would have never gone well. His own need for competition runs too deep. So things went the way they did — but now?]

[The game has changed.]

I don't know you.

[Not really.]

Regardless of our alleged past in this place: that's the truth, and I would prefer to keep it that way.

[Idols fall; children dream.]

[It sounds strange, to hear those words in Mello's voice. Strange, when they knew each other before at least as well as any Bonded pair.

Now, they actually are strangers. There's years of distance between both of them, in multiple ways.]

I believe that you're telling the truth about not remembering your time here... and I couldn't place the blame for what happened on you fully, even if you did.

[Mello might have demanded the gun and pulled the proverbial trigger, but L provided and loaded it.]

I don't want us to make trouble for each other.

[He's thinking less of the potential for Mello's obsession to repeat itself, and more, of the potential for his Bond with Light Yagami to fast become an issue, if not an outright betrayal.]

Linden.

[Grave. It comes through in his tone like a bolt of lightning. For someone who wants him to stay away: L is drawing him in. Curiosity is a motherfucker, and L, of all people, should know that.]

You contacted me.

[Fact.]

I refuse to accept responsibility for something I didn't do, especially since I don't know what that thing is.

[Fact.]

Either tell me or leave me be. [As much as it pulls at Mello to demand.] I'm going to find out from N. Or elsewhere. Are you testing me to see if I can come upon the conclusion, myself?

No.

[Adamant, and unconcerned about Mello's prying. Near hasn't actually been told, nor has he gone out of his way to unearth that unpleasant knowledge for himself.]

Let it go, and I will endeavor to do the same.

[There's an operative word, there, but it would be an earnest endeavor.]

[Oh L, if you know Mello: you know he isn't going to leave it alone.]

[He'll pretend to, however. For both of their sakes.]

So this is the last time we'll be in contact, I assume.

[Bullshit. But L comes and goes like the wind; always has. Mello knows enough to know that to be an absolute truth.]

[Most likely, not.]

That would probably be for the best, for both of us. You thrived here before, and I have no doubt that you will, again.

Edited 2021-03-07 20:55 (UTC)

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