text | 001 - Emphatic Welcome

[spaghettimonster]

Name: Papyrus | Username: CoolSkeleton95
Date: Aguril 1st
Format: Text

SO YOU'RE IN A NEW WORLD, LOOKING AT A WATCH,
WONDERING WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF...
WELL!
THE FIRST THING YOU CAN DO, IS READ THIS WELCOME MESSAGE:

HELLO!!!
I HEARD THERE'S MORE PEOPLE POPPING OUT OF MIRRORS TODAY,
AND MAYBE THAT MEANS YOU.
IF IT DOES, WELCOME TO AEFENGLOM!
A HOME AWAY FROM HOME.

YOU MIGHT HEAR SOME DOOM AND GLOOM FROM PEOPLE, ABOUT THE CWYLD, AND THE FULL MOONS...
BUT, ONLY SOME OF IT IS TRUE.
AND THOSE PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS LIKE THE COLOR OF THE SKY, SO WHAT DO THEY KNOW ANYWAY.
THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY WORKING HARD TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE AND HAPPY.
SO, DO YOUR BEST NOT TO WORRY TOO MUCH, AND LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
IF YOU'RE A WITCH, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO ALL KINDS OF MAGIC.
AND IF YOU'RE A MONSTER, THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE MOONS WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU!
AND I GUESS SOME MONSTERS HAVE A KIND OF MAGIC TOO? BUT IT'S NOT -MAGIC- MAGIC.
WHATEVER!!
THE IMPORTANT THING IS, YOU NOW FEEL WELCOMED.
YOU'RE WELCOME!

[If anyone doesn't want to wade through the capslock, let me know and I can drop it when tagging you.]

Comments

[spaghettimonster]

SUCH HONESTY ABOUT YOUR HONESTY...
I HAVE TO COMMEND YOU FOR IT!

[The second bit gives him pause for a moment, but there's enough human media in the underground for him to get the gist.]

IF AN ADULT WANTS TO PUT TERRIBLE THINGS IN THEIR BODY, THAT'S THEIR CHOICE.
I SCOLD MY BROTHER FOR IT...
BUT I'D SCOLD HIM WHETHER IT'S DRUGS, ALCOHOL, OR TERRIBLY GREASY BURGERS.
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS WHETHER TO FOLLOW MY DRUG ADVICE. OR THE REST OF MY ADVICE.

AND YOU'RE VERY NOT WRONG ABOUT THAT.
I WISH I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO BE EXPECTING, BUT,
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT TO EXPECT FOR US.
THE MONSTERS HERE ARE FROM HERE, THEY'VE BEEN MONSTERS ALL THEIR LIVES...
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ALIENS FELL THROUGH MIRRORS AND SLOWLY BECAME MONSTERS.
MAYBE THEY'RE TELLING US TO THINK POSITIVELY BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.

[He could relate.]

[anotheroldsoldier]

That was what we call a rhetorical question, buddy. I'm going to guess modern humor is a little over your head.

Maybe. Or maybe they just don't want a riot on their hands. Imagine - a bunch of witches who can't control their powers, and a bunch of monsters who can't cope with a full moon. We're a ticking time bomb.

[spaghettimonster]

YES, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU SAID, AND I WASN'T BEING SARCASTIC AT ALL.

[He was being a little sarcastic, in between the bursts of forced optimism.]

IF EVERYONE THINKS WE'RE A BOMB... WON'T THERE BE RIOTS ANYWAY?
I'M GLAD WE'RE STILL TICKING.
AS LONG AS WE HAVE A LONG TIMER, THERE'S MORE TIME FOR DEFUSING THE BOMB.

[anotheroldsoldier]

It's hard to read tone when you type in all caps, I'm just saying.

Could be. I'm surprised there haven't been already. Now whether that's due to Parliament or the Coven is anybody's guess.

[spaghettimonster]

WELL, I'LL ROLL WITH THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS, AND CORRECT THEM WHERE I CAN.
I WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE MY OWN WRITING IF IT WASN'T ALL CAPITALIZED.

THAT SOUNDS LESS LIKE KEEPING THE PEACE...
AND MORE LIKE POLITICS.
OR MAYBE PEOPLE ARE BETTER AT UNDERSTANDING THAN WE FEAR.
IF RIOTS HAPPEN, YOU CAN TELL ME YOU TOLD ME SO!

[anotheroldsoldier]

Isn't it all politics? Seems to be that way in every shitty situation I find myself in. I'd guess that there's politics afoot and we're at the middle of it, and we just haven't figured it out yet.