video, un: sylphid

[sylphid]

Name: Fie Claussell
Date: Nov 23, mid-afternoon
Format: Video!

[The image on the feed is a weird one for sure. Sitting cross legged on a bed among what basically serves as a blanket nest is a calm looking young woman wearing black bodysuit with more belts than anyone would actually ever need. Those are simply dangling because fastening all those is way too much work.

She gives the camera a lazy wave.]

Yo. For those in the market for new bonds, I've got two witches I'll offer up to you, since I'd rather not see them explode. Friends and stuff like that.

First one's name is Lloyd. [Fie holds up a kind of unflattering picture so everyone can get a good view.] Back home he's a cop, so side of justice and all that good stuff. He's a nice boy. As you can see, he can't really handle his porn, so very wholesome if you're into that type. He likes safety, responsibility, and... fun. I think. He's not a complete stick in the mud, I promise. Inquire here for details.

Next one is Randy. [And here's a different picture, clearly made to bother the man it's supposed to resemble. Fie has a smile on her face now.] He likes beer, suggestive magazines, and maybe other stuff. Despite that, I guess he's not completely irredeemable. Or unfortunate looking. I still don't want to see him explode. Do us all a favor and throw the poor guy a bone. Er, bond.

[Finally setting that down, she addresses one last thing.]

By the way, if anyone knows who this weird costume belongs to, let me know. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.

[And off goes that video.]

Comments

Video;

[fiddlestick]

[ F i e. He just sighs, not even gonna question where the outfit came from.]

Yeah, people sure are gonna be lining up with an endorsement like this...

[Well. Maybe for Lloyd]

[sylphid]

At least I'm trying to get them help.

[Kinda.]

[fiddlestick]

That's...true. And I don't want them to explode either, but...

Do you really think anyone would go for Randy with that description?

TEXT

[usurpers]

[ ............. lmao ]

It’s not a costume.

text???

[sylphid]

looks like some weird outfit someone's afraid will fall off. hence the belts.

video

[guardianreaper]

[It’s not that Randy doesn’t expect this, he does, he just expected it to be a conversation within the house. Not broadcasted over the network.]

[And that picture, sheesh.]

Y’know, I appreciate the effort, but you could’ve found a more flattering picture.

video

[sylphid]

Well, I appreciate the fact you're not arguing about it's accuracy.

[Stern face.] Get a bond, then I'll sing your praises over this thing.

[cspd]

[ what

how do you even protest that, anyway? Say "actually I can totally handle my porn?" NO. ]

Fie....

video!

[sylphid]

Hey, how's it going?

[All casual like, of course.]

text

[monotonality]

[Oh my god. This girl is. Actually pretty great. Despite being absolutely shitty in every way, that drawing and description look kind of familiar.]

That's. Quite the picture you've drawn. So what, you're gonna hook them up? Pretty nice of you.

text

[sylphid]

thanks. i try. [Not really.]

that's the idea. i'd prefer they not die because they've been dumb

audio

[rightfoot]

[ You know, he's definitely joking, but it's hard to tell from the tone. ]

Huh. I didn't know you were into this type of kink, Fie.

audio

[sylphid]

[This is clearly a serious and not at all a humorous conversation!!]

Which one is that? There's so many possibilities here.

voice

[thejoyrider]

[All she got from this is that there are Witches looking for Bonds who should not be exploding]

I would like to meet them - your Witch friends!

voice

[sylphid]

Are you a monster?

video;

[judgementor]

Is this the usual method by which people find bonds?

[The question is phrased genuinely enough, but the tone is one that speaks volumes of 'are you actually serious right now'.]

video;

[sylphid]

[His tone is met with very own borderline shit eating grin.]

That implies anything about our situation is some level of usual.

text;

[hoboagogo]

[where does he even START--
with fie in the bondage suit ig]

ok but how many times did you get tangled trying to get that thing on

text;

[sylphid]

not many! [She's proud right now.] it's kinda comfy too.

voice;

[silentsavant]

You are friend with good intentions to look out for their well-being by offering them up as Bond prospects on the network in their stead. However, at this rate, you might want to give up on Randy.

voice;

[sylphid]

[An overly dramatic sigh full of resignation precedes the message. Clearly, she's not going to argue.]

It's crossed my mind before, but I think one last, desperate attempt to get him some help before he explodes should relieve my conscience.

video

[bombingking]

At least you being an annoying shit wasn't personal.

video

[sylphid]

Don't worry, it can be for you.

[Oh good, it's her new favorite person! Fie smiles. Or... smirks. It's a mixture.]

And hey, you're a feral teenager, right? Need a bond?

voice

[glitzandglamour]

What a charming endeavor, playing matchmaker for your friends. We need more people like you here to shake things up!! Ooh, this could be a service, couldn't it...? [THE GEARS ARE TURNING IN HIS HEAD, HORRIBLY]

Anyway. As it happens... I am a Monster looking for a bond. It wouldn't be difficult for someone like me to find one. However, I'm touched by your cause. Tell me more about them, darling. Either one!

shit sorry i coulda sworn i replied to this

[sylphid]

I think I heard about someone setting up speed dating for bonds one time. That's not my style though.

[Well, this guy seems interesting.] What kind of monster are you? That could help me figure out which one to send your way.