text; un: METTATON

[metalcrusher]

Name: Mettaton
Date: 01/05
Format: text

Oh yes! Hello beauties, and happy New Year... From me, to you. I'm looking for plenty of willing assistance to end a common problem among Monsters.

Being handsome and being metal are not mutually exclusive. As a robot, I happen to be both. Throw being a Monster into the mix... And I'm still beautiful! However. Cute ears and fluffy tail notwithstanding, my transformation is giving me some undesirable side effects.

Here's a simple trivia question for you.

QUESTION: What is a MAJOR weakness shared by both Puca and Fae?
A. Alcohol	B. Math
C. Anime	D. Iron

I have faith that 88.1% of you can answer correctly. (Margin of error: 5%.) I even dropped a little hint for you above! If you still can't get this... Just look at the quest board!!

I require a magical solution to eliminate this weakness. After getting plenty intimate with a handsy band of passionate Witches... They've surprised me with a list of ingredients for an alchemical enchantment. It can all but treat this weakness! Turnskin, Fae, and Puca will ALL benefit. And that's where you come in! All of the ingredients necessary to perform this spell are found in the depths of the Wilde, and I could use some help in fetching LOADS of them. I've been warned, however, that this journey will be a treacherous one. If you could spare the time and risk the dangers... And don't mind being COMPENSATED for it... It's nothing you lovely people can't handle!

As a robot who has never experienced pain before coming here... Well. A few months of it is enough. And it's getting worse. I appreciate all of the help I can get. So let me make it worth your while, darling. Won't you be the dashing hero to my ACHING rescue...?

Comments

un: CoolSkeleton95

[spaghettimonster]

METTATON, OH MY GOD!?! THIS IS TERRIBLE NEWS! HAVE YOU BEEN IN PAIN THIS WHOLE TIME...???
WHATEVER'S CHANGING US INTO MONSTERS REALLY MESSED UP, DOING THIS TO YOU. YOU SHOULD LODGE A COMPLAINT!!

BUT. FOR NOW. SINCE WE DON'T KNOW WHO OR WHAT'S BRINGING US HERE...

OF COURSE I'LL HELP!
IF THERE'S ANY REASON TO DARE THE DANGERS OF THE WILDE, IT'S HELPING A FRIEND IN NEED!!!!
I'LL TALK TO SOME PEOPLE AND SEE IF THEY WON'T GO OUT, TOO.

un: 46692

[escardos]

i think that if i went into the wilde again alone my bonded would kill me and use my skull as decoration :(

(also, the answer is iron!)

[curruid_coinchenn]

you're right. don't do anything stupid.

[escardos]

yeah yeah >:|

[metalcrusher]

Imagine my surprise when I felt the first tinge of sensation in my life... And it's from painful erosion! It is a tragedy. One I COULD lodge a complaint about. But I imagine they get a lot of complaints from us Monsters. So, since that's likely to do absolutely nothing for me... I'm choosing to do some good with this dismal situation I'm in.

[The worst thing is actually his teeth. It interrupts his perfect smile!! And now he kinda looks like Alphys.]

Thank you, darling. Going out in groups is the right call! Not only is that greater protection for you, but it's more hands to fetch the goods with. Good thinking!

[metalcrusher]

Oh my. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, darling. The killing part is a real red flag. Are there any other reasons he might kill you and use your skull as a decoration?

(A flawless answer!!)

[escardos]

i almost got him killed in the wilde (an accident!) and he doesnt know how to express himself well yet. he is very soft under his hard and scaly exterior, though!✨

[curruid_coinchenn]

i see what else you're saying about me.

stop it.

[metalcrusher]

So he's one of those dark and prickly types, is that right? Well. Given your glittering disposition, I'm sure you compliment him fabulously. He's lucky to have someone who can tolerate that scaly exterior of his. No wonder he wants to protect you from the dangers of the Wilde so badly!

[escardos]

i know. :D

what are you gonna do to stop me? :D

[escardos]

suuuuper prickly. hedgehog level prickly! he’s so grumpy that he’d put an angry gorilla to shame! but that’s why he’s a dragon, see? totally perfect! hehehe he’s just rly great.

unfortunately i cant help you get the materials buuuuuut if you need help mixing them!!! im your guy! i mix poisons together all the time!

text | un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

Iron.

Are you sure it will work or did they tell you to make you stop asking?

[metalcrusher]

I can see that, given that I can read his responses. Stubborn, aloof, prideful. He really did win the Monster lottery, if he matches such an endearing description.

Being that I'm not a Witch, I appreciate it, darling. I'm certain alchemy and poison are the same thing. If you were interested in testing out the alchemical enchantment and refining it, I can't say I'd be upset. I only live with my metal body every single day.

[curruid_coinchenn]

don't test my patience, flat.

[metalcrusher]

You know your stuff!

The Witches were VERY interested in my condition. And very interested in proximity... By extension, they were also interested in the results they could provide. If it's not effective enough, I'm ready to demand that they do it all over again! I'm covered in blistering sores. That's not very glamorous.

text | un: kiva

[kivatteru]

It's iron.

I've been having a full work schedule time this past month, but this matter seems to be pretty urgent and I can make room to help out.

[metalcrusher]

I'm pleased to have so many people who are good at multiple choice questions answering.

I'm also pleased that you think so. It IS urgent, considering it's my condition 24/7. I feel it gets worse with every full moon. I could go on, but all you need to know is that it's reached a point where I can barely see straight sometimes! I had no idea organic beings had to endure such a ghastly condition... All for something as simple as scraping a knee.

Anyway. I deeply appreciate your willingness, darling. Is your name Kiva...?

text.

[usurpers]

If I find any out there, I’ll bring them. It won’t cost me.

What’s an anime?

[escardos]

alrighttttt

[escardos]

man that must be really awful :( i imagine that it must be like the body destroying and rebuilding itself constantly. could it count as some form of autoimmune disease?

and yes you’re right it is! most medicine would be poisonous if ingested too much of.

wait does this mean that i can actually experiment on you? youd let me do that?! really?!!!!!!!! not that i plan to do anything bad but!!! wow!!!

[metalcrusher]

That would be a tremendous help. Thank you, beautiful.

"An" "anime"... is not a Puca's weakness! But I do love it. Knowing that so many people here... Are so innocent and unaware of anime. Ha ha ha. Before I explain ANYTHING... The greater tragedy would be this: Do you know what TV is?

[metalcrusher]

Oh, why not? Yes. ANYTHING to get rid of these terrible, oozing sores. You're probably right. I'll warn you, it doesn't look pretty!

I've never had a disease in my life, so you'd be a better judge of that. Or should I say, doctor. I'm plenty accustomed to being sprawled across a desk, having sweaty palms slide across each edge, curve, and recess of my beautiful body... In the name of science! How could this be any different? If that's how you think you could help me best, I'd love it.

text;

[judgementor]

[He doesn't answer the question, because it seems unnecessary to do so. There's a moment of conflict between his natural instinct to be of assistance and the fact that this individual is not human (and therefore not falling into the metaphorical basket of those whom Food Souls are summoned to aid)... but it is quickly overridden.]

Just what compensation are you offering?

[metalcrusher]

What are you after, gorgeous? Money? Fame? Job security? Your name written into a ballad? I can't think past all of this pain, so you bet that I'm willing to strike unwise deals.

[rightfoot]

To be fair, you made the question easy.

No, it's not. Would a healing spell at least help put that at ease, do you think, until the more permanent solution is found.

[ seems bad to take away the weakness. ]