text; un: METTATON

[metalcrusher]

Name: Mettaton
Date: 01/05
Format: text

Oh yes! Hello beauties, and happy New Year... From me, to you. I'm looking for plenty of willing assistance to end a common problem among Monsters.

Being handsome and being metal are not mutually exclusive. As a robot, I happen to be both. Throw being a Monster into the mix... And I'm still beautiful! However. Cute ears and fluffy tail notwithstanding, my transformation is giving me some undesirable side effects.

Here's a simple trivia question for you.

QUESTION: What is a MAJOR weakness shared by both Puca and Fae?
A. Alcohol	B. Math
C. Anime	D. Iron

I have faith that 88.1% of you can answer correctly. (Margin of error: 5%.) I even dropped a little hint for you above! If you still can't get this... Just look at the quest board!!

I require a magical solution to eliminate this weakness. After getting plenty intimate with a handsy band of passionate Witches... They've surprised me with a list of ingredients for an alchemical enchantment. It can all but treat this weakness! Turnskin, Fae, and Puca will ALL benefit. And that's where you come in! All of the ingredients necessary to perform this spell are found in the depths of the Wilde, and I could use some help in fetching LOADS of them. I've been warned, however, that this journey will be a treacherous one. If you could spare the time and risk the dangers... And don't mind being COMPENSATED for it... It's nothing you lovely people can't handle!

As a robot who has never experienced pain before coming here... Well. A few months of it is enough. And it's getting worse. I appreciate all of the help I can get. So let me make it worth your while, darling. Won't you be the dashing hero to my ACHING rescue...?

Comments

un: CoolSkeleton95

[spaghettimonster]

METTATON, OH MY GOD!?! THIS IS TERRIBLE NEWS! HAVE YOU BEEN IN PAIN THIS WHOLE TIME...???
WHATEVER'S CHANGING US INTO MONSTERS REALLY MESSED UP, DOING THIS TO YOU. YOU SHOULD LODGE A COMPLAINT!!

BUT. FOR NOW. SINCE WE DON'T KNOW WHO OR WHAT'S BRINGING US HERE...

OF COURSE I'LL HELP!
IF THERE'S ANY REASON TO DARE THE DANGERS OF THE WILDE, IT'S HELPING A FRIEND IN NEED!!!!
I'LL TALK TO SOME PEOPLE AND SEE IF THEY WON'T GO OUT, TOO.

[metalcrusher]

Imagine my surprise when I felt the first tinge of sensation in my life... And it's from painful erosion! It is a tragedy. One I COULD lodge a complaint about. But I imagine they get a lot of complaints from us Monsters. So, since that's likely to do absolutely nothing for me... I'm choosing to do some good with this dismal situation I'm in.

[The worst thing is actually his teeth. It interrupts his perfect smile!! And now he kinda looks like Alphys.]

Thank you, darling. Going out in groups is the right call! Not only is that greater protection for you, but it's more hands to fetch the goods with. Good thinking!

these two, so dramatic. of course they have matching swoon icons

[spaghettimonster]

I CAN IMAGINE IT, AND IT'S TERRIBLE! I'M ALMOST WEEPING AT THE THOUGHT.
THE ONE UPSIDE IS... ONCE WE GET A CURE TOGETHER, YOUR SENSATION EXPERIENCE WILL IMPROVE. IMMEASURABLY!

[The moment Papyrus notices similarity between their teeth, it's going to seem almost fitting, in a roundabout way... She is Mettaton's creator, to his knowledge. If there's anyone the robot should slightly resemble, it's her. But Mettaton can make it work! He's sure!]

UHH... YEAH! I THOUGHT OF ALL THOSE THINGS!
IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE THE WILDE IS SCARY AND DANGEROUS.
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO STOP THERE... I'M BUYING A BAG TO CARRY EVEN MORE. WHY STOP AT HANDS??!

un: 46692

[escardos]

i think that if i went into the wilde again alone my bonded would kill me and use my skull as decoration :(

(also, the answer is iron!)

[curruid_coinchenn]

you're right. don't do anything stupid.

[escardos]

yeah yeah >:|

[metalcrusher]

Oh my. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, darling. The killing part is a real red flag. Are there any other reasons he might kill you and use your skull as a decoration?

(A flawless answer!!)

[escardos]

i almost got him killed in the wilde (an accident!) and he doesnt know how to express himself well yet. he is very soft under his hard and scaly exterior, though!✨

text | un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

Iron.

Are you sure it will work or did they tell you to make you stop asking?

[metalcrusher]

You know your stuff!

The Witches were VERY interested in my condition. And very interested in proximity... By extension, they were also interested in the results they could provide. If it's not effective enough, I'm ready to demand that they do it all over again! I'm covered in blistering sores. That's not very glamorous.

[rightfoot]

To be fair, you made the question easy.

No, it's not. Would a healing spell at least help put that at ease, do you think, until the more permanent solution is found.

[ seems bad to take away the weakness. ]

text | un: kiva

[kivatteru]

It's iron.

I've been having a full work schedule time this past month, but this matter seems to be pretty urgent and I can make room to help out.

[metalcrusher]

I'm pleased to have so many people who are good at multiple choice questions answering.

I'm also pleased that you think so. It IS urgent, considering it's my condition 24/7. I feel it gets worse with every full moon. I could go on, but all you need to know is that it's reached a point where I can barely see straight sometimes! I had no idea organic beings had to endure such a ghastly condition... All for something as simple as scraping a knee.

Anyway. I deeply appreciate your willingness, darling. Is your name Kiva...?

[kivatteru]

I'm sorry. I can hardly imagine how frustrating that would be, but hopefully everyone's contribution can achieve some result. I have a couple fae friends, so I'm helping for their sake too.

My actual name is Wataru. Kiva is just a nickname I'm also known for.

[ His rider name, which he knows no one would ever recognize anyway. ]

text.

[usurpers]

If I find any out there, I’ll bring them. It won’t cost me.

What’s an anime?

[metalcrusher]

That would be a tremendous help. Thank you, beautiful.

"An" "anime"... is not a Puca's weakness! But I do love it. Knowing that so many people here... Are so innocent and unaware of anime. Ha ha ha. Before I explain ANYTHING... The greater tragedy would be this: Do you know what TV is?

[usurpers]

It’s Eren

[ ]

A machine that shows moving pictures.

did somebody say ANIME

[textsfromhotland]

Oh I can help with that

Anime is... a really unique artform! Its a mixture of beautiful, hand-drawn artwork, deep and complex storylines, and nuanced and emotional acting!

[usurpers]

[ oh . . . so this is the other side ]

It’s a moving drawing
?

text;

[judgementor]

[He doesn't answer the question, because it seems unnecessary to do so. There's a moment of conflict between his natural instinct to be of assistance and the fact that this individual is not human (and therefore not falling into the metaphorical basket of those whom Food Souls are summoned to aid)... but it is quickly overridden.]

Just what compensation are you offering?

[metalcrusher]

What are you after, gorgeous? Money? Fame? Job security? Your name written into a ballad? I can't think past all of this pain, so you bet that I'm willing to strike unwise deals.

[judgementor]

I'm not in the habit of taking advantage of someone in your position. I'll help you now, we can work out the compensation when you're thinking clearly.

un: Caster | text

[futhark]

You are not allowed to eliminate alcohol!! Compensation or not, you will be stopped!

my GOD

[metalcrusher]

... A. Alcohol. Is that your final answer? You think that a Fae's AND Puca's major weakness is alcohol?

[futhark]

No idea about Pucas but during my brief stint as a Fae, the smallest sip of ale has sent me under the table. Way more dangerous than any "iron" that is the popular vote here.

Still, no reason to eliminate it.