text; un: METTATON

[metalcrusher]

Name: Mettaton
Date: 01/05
Format: text

Oh yes! Hello beauties, and happy New Year... From me, to you. I'm looking for plenty of willing assistance to end a common problem among Monsters.

Being handsome and being metal are not mutually exclusive. As a robot, I happen to be both. Throw being a Monster into the mix... And I'm still beautiful! However. Cute ears and fluffy tail notwithstanding, my transformation is giving me some undesirable side effects.

Here's a simple trivia question for you.

QUESTION: What is a MAJOR weakness shared by both Puca and Fae?
A. Alcohol	B. Math
C. Anime	D. Iron

I have faith that 88.1% of you can answer correctly. (Margin of error: 5%.) I even dropped a little hint for you above! If you still can't get this... Just look at the quest board!!

I require a magical solution to eliminate this weakness. After getting plenty intimate with a handsy band of passionate Witches... They've surprised me with a list of ingredients for an alchemical enchantment. It can all but treat this weakness! Turnskin, Fae, and Puca will ALL benefit. And that's where you come in! All of the ingredients necessary to perform this spell are found in the depths of the Wilde, and I could use some help in fetching LOADS of them. I've been warned, however, that this journey will be a treacherous one. If you could spare the time and risk the dangers... And don't mind being COMPENSATED for it... It's nothing you lovely people can't handle!

As a robot who has never experienced pain before coming here... Well. A few months of it is enough. And it's getting worse. I appreciate all of the help I can get. So let me make it worth your while, darling. Won't you be the dashing hero to my ACHING rescue...?

Comments

[usurpers]

You have all the proof you need. Some people just never see it.

Do they still doubt you?

[glitzandglamour]

There will always be those who doubt a machine's sentience, darling. You said it yourself. Some may never see eye to eye, as the phrase goes.

Many assume that robots are all bound by the design of our creators. That we're always programmed to fulfill a task, or think a certain way. That being artificial at all defines "not living." I'm bound by absolutely none of that... Not that everyone believes me.

[usurpers]

I wondered how it was here, anyway. Machines don't look like a common thing to start, much less ones with organic parts.

Does that mean you need to drink and eat now?

[ biology isn't god damn MAGIC how does this work!! ]

[glitzandglamour]

No. I don't think. But who knows? I wouldn't mind... Needing to, that is. I can, if I so desire. What's stopping me?

[what's stopping you is being cursed you metal fool. he doesn't need to eat but he already does, eren, don't encourage him.]

[usurpers]

Nothing.

[ do it ho ]

[glitzandglamour]

Precisely. Nothing stops me from doing what I want. Not even a lack of a digestive system.

[usurpers]

The worst that could happen is regurgitation.

Do you taste?

[glitzandglamour]

Only with my imagination.

[usurpers]

I imagine it’s colorful.

[glitzandglamour]

In as many colors as food appears in, and beyond. But I rely heavily on testimony.

Speaking of, what is your favorite food? As a being who tastes, and eats for survival.

[usurpers]

Beef and bread. [ or, you know. “hamburgers”. ] Or beef stew.

There wasn’t a lot of it back home, when there was some left, we wouldn’t miss the chance.

[glitzandglamour]

[ YEAH YOU KNOW HE'S GOING TO SAY IT ]

Beef and bread, also called a "burger," darling. A juicy, seasoned, savory experience. You must enjoy that aspect of beef most of all, since stew is the essence of juicy.

[ beef juice... ]

But beef strikes me as an easy food to get, as someone who operated restaurants featuring such meat frequently. Though it is special. Were you pressed for food options, back home...?

[usurpers]

[ it'll always be .......beef and bread ]

No restaurants. Livestock dwindled until it was rare and meat was a luxury. Think I got through most of my childhood with bread rations.

[glitzandglamour]

Even knowing that other options await your palette... Ones more interesting than the simplicity and dryness of bread. You'd favor that which became your lifeline? Interesting.

How about the most memorable thing you've ever eaten?

[usurpers]

Maybe it's just my taste, but it's what I grew up with. There're memories involved.

[ good memories, if he could understand that. there's many answers he could give here, but— the one he remembers to this day, and fondly no less? ]

Cured sausage. And probably for the same reason. [ and, delayed: ] I had a friend who loved meat.

[glitzandglamour]

[ memories, he understands. it's like having a soft spot for anime even when he thinks its awful trash: it reminds him of days gone by, of hope newly sparked. can that be compared. who knows. ]

How cute. I like your reasons! If you had a dear friend who loves meat, they must have been terribly influential in all of your memorable and favorite foods. Since they trend suspiciously toward protein.

[ mtt: asks for help with being a robot, learns about human food inclinations. best result. the more he can learn, the better he can emulate the human experience. ]

[usurpers]

[ . . . yes . . . mettaton is correct in the worst way possible that makes eren sad, but also: ]

Why "cute"

[metalcrusher]

If I were talking to somebody else... They may have told me that they favored some lavish, hard-to-pronounce dish. Because it's expensive. I find it charming that your reasons are sentimental. Cute.

[usurpers]

Thanks
I guess

[glitzandglamour]

Thanking me for calling you cute? Haha... Thank you for sharing, darling.

[usurpers]

It was more for the explanation

[ STOP HE’S GOING TO EXPLODE ]

[metalcrusher]

[the more he responds in this way, the cuter he gets... go ahead. explode. mettaton loves his bombs.]

You're welcome for that, too. ♥