A request [text]; un: Berserker

[curruid_coinchenn]

i'm looking for someone with good morals to bond with flat escardos. i'm bonded to him and that's fine -- i'm not looking to annul the bond or anything like it. if you're not inclined to bond with him, then being willing to explain why the behaviors he considers normal are not normal is good enough.

he is basically a wild animal in human form. he is friendly and outgoing, but don't be lured into a false sense of security by this facade. he is chaotic and strange and will not stop talking once he starts unless you find a way to forcibly silence him.

this is an incomplete list of behaviors he considers normal:

• experimenting on friends without telling them they're a part of an experiment


• conducting loud experiments at odd hours


• nearly burning down the house while conducting pointless experiments


• living in conditions that would embarrass a raccoon


• trying to get people to eat wax

i could go on, but then i would spend way too much time writing this post. you get the idea. he has no concept of manners or propriety and doesn't know how to conduct himself around other people. when things are explained to him, he seems to understand, i'm just not the person to explain these things to him.

any offers of help are appreciated. i can get you in contact with him easily...he'll likely reply here, so if you're interested in being his moral compass, you can speak with him directly.

Comments

[guesser]

i’m afraid you’re not a mr. flat to decide so, are you? no-go berserkuku. we’ll talk if we want to.

thanks for the heads up, though! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[curruid_coinchenn]

i'm not afraid to kill those who might cause a problem for my bonded. so keep that in mind.

[guesser]

oh d d d dear i’m all fluffed up! yessir, dad. i’ll bring him home before curfew 👌
those are some excellent morals, by the way.

[curruid_coinchenn]

why do you think i'm trying to find someone better than myself? i'm not a good person and that doesn't bother me.

[guesser]

i don’t have a deep backstory like that to compete, but honest to honest? maybe your bond just needs a high energy friend to keep up. doesn’t gotta be a bond.

plus this is really up on the parental care levels of surgically precise embarrassment. are you his actual dad?

[curruid_coinchenn]

no. i killed the only son i ever had.

[ He's, uh, a real ray of sunshine. ]

so why don't you shut up before you actually make me angry?

[guesser]

sorry about your infanticide...???

i’m not actually saying anything.

[curruid_coinchenn]

you're talking a lot for someone who isn't saying anything.

[guesser]

i'm typing, tbqh.

but i like socializing any way you want to look at it. i'll check up on flat and we'll let you know how it goes, ok? ♡

[curruid_coinchenn]

get bent.

[guesser]

[ sepia selfie sent ]

i’m already twisted ✌️