Mettaton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
metalcrusher) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
aefenglom2020-09-06 04:18 pm
metalcrusher) wrote in aefenglom2020-09-06 04:18 pm
Entry tags:
- attack on titan: eren jaeger,
- attack on titan: mikasa ackerman,
- beastars: louis,
- da: myrobalan shivana,
- dbh: connor,
- dbh: hank anderson,
- ddlc: monika,
- dragon prince: viren,
- ffxiv: emet-selch,
- ffxiv: irhya pendhula,
- ffxiv: tataru taru,
- fgo: cu chulainn alter,
- fgo: scathach,
- naruto: itachi uchiha,
- original: bailey morello,
- p3: shinjiro aragaki,
- p4: yu narukami,
- the untamed: lan wangji,
- trails: fie claussell,
- undertale: alphys,
- undertale: mettaton,
- voltron: allura
＊ You're marrying your Bonded now. You're filled with determination.
Name: Mettaton (un: METTATON)
Date: 09/06
Format: text
Hey there, beauties! Lend me your imaginations and INSPIRE me... By answering to my provocative scenario:
Wedding bells are ringing, and you're dressed to the nines. Surprise! You're in LOVE now... with none other than your Bonded*!!! ...And you're getting MARRIED!! What's more, this is going to be your DREAM WEDDING!!
Describe it to me: what does your ideal wedding day feature, with your Bonded betrothed??
*If you're un-Bonded, you thought of someone. You're marrying them now. Ha-ha.
Date: 09/06
Format: text
Hey there, beauties! Lend me your imaginations and INSPIRE me... By answering to my provocative scenario:
Wedding bells are ringing, and you're dressed to the nines. Surprise! You're in LOVE now... with none other than your Bonded*!!! ...And you're getting MARRIED!! What's more, this is going to be your DREAM WEDDING!!
Describe it to me: what does your ideal wedding day feature, with your Bonded betrothed??
*If you're un-Bonded, you thought of someone. You're marrying them now. Ha-ha.
no subject
How cruel to our audience, giving them a taste of something they'll never possess. And then abandoning them to the far lesser taste of some overly sugared concoction.
[Yes, the natural order of things: their union, really good cake, ??? everything else probably.]
I don't think you could handle yourself on a normal day. I dread to think what the result will be once you're particularly inspired.
[As though he didn't both encourage and enjoy it. There really was no other option but being horny on main... involving others in their strange mutually possessive lifestyle, even if Emet-Selch was the only one who could permanently wear the bruises of it. But he would appreciate the sound of his true name given to him, in a tone unmistakable and for their ears alone- a risk, and a point of particular intimacy.
Engagement was only a formality at this point, considering they were already discussing details of the wedding. Not that either was required, after all they had already pledged to one another in private... but what was a public, legal tying but one more way of developing that connection?
But on reading Mettaton's final comment, he stops. The idea of anyone going home from either of their worlds was an uneasy thought- as though the fates had only just misaimed, and next time neither of them might be so lucky. His reply comes after a small delay.]
Has he...? I see. Loud as he was, he wasn't a terrible sort, was he? That's- unfortunate.
[Emet-Selch hadn't known the skeleton monster particularly well, but he'd surely come across him during his stays in the mansion that was technically his (and now primarily Mettaton's- and by extension, the Ascian's), and he hadn't disliked him. From that, and the conversation they'd had over the network- yes, he'd been an irritating and friendly sort, but there was a genuineness to it that he did approve of. Unpleasant as the Ascian was, he did appreciate honest kindness in others.
More pressingly though, it meant Mettaton would have that entire place to himself when he wasn't there. And that was practically an admission of loneliness that Emet-Selch was disinclined to ignore. Just imagining him being there on his own was....
Yet Emet-Selch was reluctant to abandon Irhya either, now that they seemed to be on gradually better terms, and while he could visit, that wasn't quite the same thing. Still, there seemed an obvious solution.]
You know that I would prefer to stay with you always. But it would be a pity to abandon my room in my other household after you'd taken it upon yourself to decorate it. [Yes, that's the reason he'll give.] So on those days I deign to stay there, you could join me... and the rest of the time I would join you in your mansion.
[No one would mind, he was sure... and Emet-Selch didn't care about that anyway. And Mettaton liked people and being around them for some reason, he doubted he would mind the extra company.]
no subject
As for my restraint. We'll just have to see. Won't we?
[Come marry him and find out, Emet-Selch. Meet him on the altar and see if he jumps your bones.
But the thought of marriage to someone he genuinely cares for continues to be a nice distraction from that unsavory thought, as Emet-Selch shares the very same one as Mettaton. It always feels like some kind of narrow avoidance: when K'rihnn departed, along with a number of others from Emet-Selch's world, the concern that his Bonded could wander back to his mirror in some sort of zombie-like stupor ate at him for days, even when he tried to put it out of his mind. ...How tragic, that he'd develop such feelings for someone that he'd ache to find them missing.
At the same time, Mettaton thinks he'd manage. It would hurt. More than he thinks he could fathom right now, when he's also thinking about marrying Emet-Selch. It's the kind of aching pain that, if he let it sink in for too long, if he stared at it and let it settle atop him, it might feel crushing. It would be best for the robot not to think about it at all, until— no, only unless, it came to pass.
He fiddles with his device a little, even as he smiles at Emet-Selch's answer.]
So you like my decor after all...
[That's what he admitted to, even as a diversion!]
It's unfortunate, yes. Especially since I heard... that in his series of events Underground, he is woefully deprived of moi. A terrible outcome.
But I like your idea. I was thinking the same thing as you! How exciting. Now I can visit the residents of your household whenever I'd like!
[Did Emet-Selch just move Mettaton in with him, thereby inflicting his housemates with a chatty robot? Truly, though, it puts the robot at ease: this was one of the first full moons he spent relatively on his own in some time, with Papyrus not present to be kept company. (Yes, Mettaton always thinks of it in terms of him keeping Papyrus company. He's the star, and he's the fan, after all.) Without anyone to help him expend some of that energy by chasing him around and whatnot, he sort of... Shapeshifted into a small hare, in the end. Found somewhere cozy. Hid. The emptiness was a touch unfamiliar, and unnerving.
Living with Emet-Selch for these short bursts of time meant that he could not only keep his Bonded company, but he could fraternize with his housemates. That's perfect, in Mettaton's eyes.]
You always find ways to put my heart at ease, darling.
no subject
But I suppose I will.
Not that we're even officially engaged, I would remind you. All this yet remains an absurdity of hypotheticals.
[Emet-Selch dealt with the inevitability of loss by simultaneously refusing to think about it, while being miserable about it all the same. He would manage: he knew that much. He had managed when his world had ended by following it with thousands of years of misery, solitude, and despair. That... was managing.
There's something of a huff though, somehow transmitted through text.]
I never said I disliked it.
[And he never had disliked Mettaton's design choices, even if it wouldn't have been what he would have chosen for himself. Because he would've chosen nothing. But Mettaton's style, at least when it came to home decor, was eminently livable with, and he could, grudgingly, appreciate how expensive it all was. As it was certainly nicer to be surrounded with and use than what he'd had before. Red wasn't a restful color for a room, but Emet-Selch didn't exactly have any troubles sleeping anyway.]
Idol that you are, I suppose 'tis normal to remain removed from one's viewers....
[Yeah he just assumes that in Papyrus' version of events they didn't have any reason to come into contact, rather than there being some more ominous explanation. After all, the human the Ascian witnessed in Mettaton's memories had very studiously avoided killing him, despite being attacked....]
But yes. Though I doubt you required any invitation, you may bother the rest of the household to your heart's content. Perhaps it will save me some of the trouble of entertaining you.
[Maybe he'd even get him a Key so there would be less chance of door-related-trauma, for those times when he didn't just come in through the window or wherever a puca could fit. But it was... nice, in a way, to know that he could provide some kind of ease for him. It remained an unusual feeling, having some positive effect on someone.]
no subject
[Not only the tribulations of wedding planning, from guest lists (everyone, individually) to cakes, attire to possessive flexes, but in the splendors of married life. Perhaps the most exciting part of it all, besides having his love become the center of attention. Nobody could doubt that this robot feels emotion when he gives it to them in full.
But Emet-Selch's huffiness is communicated loud and clear, and the boxy robot finds himself laughing to himself.]
Of course you never disliked my sense of decor. But I'm glad to hear that you LIKE it. Enough to pity the thought of leaving it behind!
[Mettaton is fairly sure that Emet-Selch is reluctant to leave, rather than just leaving the decor. He could just have it moved if that's all it was. But he's not going to press on that. The reasons for staying, while obvious, aren't as important as his desire to remain.]
I don't need an invitation from you to make myself at home, you're right. But to have it is my license to make my glowing presence a feature. Yes. What's yours is mine, after all, as the reverse is true.
But don't imagine for a moment that I'll be any less present all for you, darling! I can't deprive you of that.
[Depriving anyone the Presence of Mettaton is cruel, and Emet-Selch would continue to entertain him. Mettaton intentionally makes it seem like far more of a chore than it needs to be.
But it's a good lead into his comment about his life as a star — in Papyrus' set of events, especially.]
About my viewers... You're right. In fact, I had never met Papyrus prior to arriving here. However. I don't know if I told you. The events of my world seem to have played out... incorrectly for him. [Because Mettaton's perception of it is the correct one.] We did not escape the Underground. The human killed some of the monsters they encountered. ... They killed our king, and escaped.
Things seem to have deteriorated somewhat, because of it. To be honest, hearing it still shocks me. Frisk is a darling human. They wouldn't hurt a fly...
no subject
I've no doubt that it will be an occasion that will continue to haunt me until it's accomplished. And then, long after, I suspect.... Though beyond that... do you think anything will change? We're already Bonded, and have essentially merged households.
[It might have a different feel to it, perhaps. He supposed he'd find out when it happened.]
But no, I expect you to spread yourself so thoroughly that I might never escape. [Part of him wants to protest this fate, to say something like he might come to regret his offer- and part of him wants to demand that Mettaton ensures that he never gets away from him, never loses his attention. The two impulses cancel each other out, and in the end he adds nothing but silence, a delay before continuing.
Because that last part was... not concerning, exactly, but unexpected. If nothing else, Emet-Selch feels it's fortunate that Mettaton was from a future where monsters seem to have been given a more favorable outcome. Though he was loathe to ever consider a scenario when his lover returned home....
--No, he still couldn't consider it. But it was better all the same that Mettaton was from a place with the preferable outcome.]
I wonder how common it is, for alternate versions of the same world to exist.
[But this was different from Emet-Selch's learned experience of his own world, where one person of it was unique, yet their acts and their results were the same.]
Can you be certain the human in Papyrus' version of affairs is the same as the one you knew? Perhaps a more aggressive soul found their way into your Underground... and with the expected consequence.
[Honestly... if there were multiple ways Mettaton's world could go, Emet-Selch had no problem believing that the idol's version was by far the outlier. And even then... Mettaton had no idea how things would fare for everyone once they made it to the surface. His human friend might have been genuinely kind and harmless- such rare souls did exist- but that said nothing about the rest of the world, which had imprisoned monster-kind to start. Opinion of humanity being what it was, the Ascian couldn't share his faith. But that was something they both knew.]
no subject
That you think it'll haunt you means you understand the realness of it impending. You're right!
That you should expect it'll continue afterward... Truly. All of the little things add up. A union of finances and rights... the socially recognized institution, more cemented than a Bond (even if a Bond feels more intimate)... Oh. Yes. The ability to call each other husband and husband.
You know me so well, my dear. I don't think you'd want to escape, but if you did... I'd find you.
[As a unit: no, Mettaton only expected that some minute thing would feel different. That they would feel entwined further yet, which hasn't been an uncomfortable thing. They would only have reminders on their fingers, as if their Bond persisting wouldn't feel stronger than a piece of jewelry. But it would be a visual claim, something anyone could see (besides all of Emet-Selch's hickeys). Aside from that, it wouldn't change much. Neither of them especially have a family name to give to the other. (...Mettaton does, but he's not mentioning it, nor using it, for the good of everyone.)
But back on the subject of being so close, it surprised Mettaton to feel so naturally inclined toward someone's company that he'd wish to tie himself to him. To encourage Emet-Selch to keep with his tempo, and to alter his own to meet him half-way. It's probably something he should have done all along with those he cared for, he'd realized. It's more rewarding than he could ever fathom.]
I couldn't say whether it was the same human. Who knows? Maybe it wasn't! I never asked if their soul looked the same. Besides... I so often saw them painted yellow. Though I remember it clearly. Theirs was red. I assumed it was the same human... since it was the same day. The same turn of events. The same shows I hosted, at Alphys' behest. ... Different actions on their part, that lead to different outcomes.
Papyrus told me he was in the Ruins, after they killed the king. [He told Emet-Selch about those, but he can't remind him, not publicly... even though no monsters are here, save for Alphys. Mettaton takes his precautions anyway.] Anyway. He couldn't watch my show anymore from there! How disturbing.
[Mettaton with peak priorities: the ability to watch his show.
More disturbing were all of the nuances he has yet to describe, but all of that would require explaining... Undyne. It sours him at all to imagine his popularity dropping because he busted out a humanoid body that he desired so strongly, but it makes sense if he can blame it on Undyne. What a terrible outcome. She should never rule. Mettaton would be better at it.]
no subject
Yes... I suppose I am.
[And more seriously does he consider it than he ever expected to. And far different from the first time it had ever been brought up, when the Ascian had both assumed that he would need thoroughly convinced to go along with it, and that he could always continue to refuse it. Perhaps he had been convinced, then, without even needing to be asked. It felt a foregone conclusion now.
Emet-Selch remained no stranger to marriage. He associated nothing sentimental with it. But... it added a certain formality to their relationship that... he found he didn't mind the thought of. They were Bonded, of course, which was closer in truth, but everyone had to be Bonded, and there was no requirement that any Bonded pair be particularly close. They had been lovers for some time in addition to that, and if asked, that would be how he would describe their situation. A marriage for reasons that were clearly not political implied more than even that though, a solidity... favorable. It didn't matter that they didn't have family names to trade (the Ascian himself had thousands of ones to pick from, but nothing personal enough to use), or that jewelry was a more socially-acceptable bruise. It wasn't a terrible thought, even if he fully expected the ceremony itself to be extraordinarily tiring.]
And I am well-familiar with all of the practical trappings.
Although, finances. [He didn't think Mettaton was in debt- he didn't strike Emet-Selch as the sort- but he also knew that he had expensive tastes and took jobs in order to fund those tastes. And having been tortured as well, he knew the robot had also received a healthy sum... which he'd apparently burned through.] Don't tell me you're marrying me for my fortune.
[The Ascian was still sitting on, like, 90% of that torture payout. With housing being free, food being mooched, and most else being Conjured (along with a lack of desire for personal effects), he'd had nothing to spend that money on.
With that in mind, he wouldn't stop Mettaton from spending it either. Emet-Selch had no use for it and didn't particularly care if it existed (though it won't stop him from grousing as his savings were depleted). Of course, if Mettaton spent it all and then the Ascian did need it for something, he'd just stare at his husband until he'd paid for it, rather than like. Get a job or anything himself.]
Strange... in either case. Same human or not, to have all other aspects fall into alignment, apart from that one crucial detail.
[But he remembered Mettaton telling of the Ruins- a place only ghosts and spiders could cross. Papyrus was obviously neither of those. Had it been opened up for some reason?]
Deposing royalty does tend to lead to some instability. I can't imagine that your people's tolerance for humanity increased after your king's murder.
[A more relevant reminder of the casual cruelty of humans. And with the fragility of monsters, Emet-Selch wondered sometimes if being sealed Underground ended up being the only thing that kept them from being wiped out entirely. That it was for their own good, in the end, and better to not try and escape. Except....]
What happened to the souls he had collected?
no subject
He did describe some of the bells and whistles that come with marriage, however. And he almost expected Emet-Selch to hone in on finances, given his own use of them.]
Ooooh, you caught me. Marrying into fortune. You DO have a lot of money you're not using... Maybe I'll marry the whole city for their money! And subsequently divorce, settling only with 100% of each estate. What a way to earn a keep. Haha...
[That's all a big "no." But it's an entertaining thought to the idol. Emet-Selch doesn't really need to be told that his money is only a bonus, not at all the reason he'd marry. If he had no money at all (which is soon to be true), Mettaton would easily assume the duty of earning their collective income.
Monsters tolerance for humanity, though, continues to agitate him somewhat just thinking about it. Unified under Undyne's rule in particular would really turn a peaceful-if-wary population into one of pure, anti-human sentiment. The one thing Asgore was ever good for was just occupying the throne.]
The souls somehow disappeared. I guess. Maybe the human released them before their departure. There goes that method of escape.
[Surely, a flower didn't obtain the souls and face off against the human before their escape. That's too absurd to even hypothesize.]
And with their departure... and the king's removal from the throne, the captain of the (minuscule) Royal Guard took the throne! Of all monsters, she happens to dislike humans the most. In my experience, she had a change of heart. Apparently not so, in Papyrus'.
Anyway. The anti-human sentiment was fierce, under her rule. Her subjects, militarized. How sad. Even my popularity took a blow... said Papyrus. Whether it was due to the focus on military, or the PERFECTLY timed debut of my new body, I couldn't say.
no subject
There's an idea. Assuming I'd permit you to marry others, even if it were only to steal their assets. Assuming the city would permit you multiple spouses at once, or wouldn't catch on to your devious intent. Unfortunately, I suspect neither of those conditions would come to pass.
[As though this was something either of them were taking seriously. But yes, Emet-Selch requires no assurance that Mettaton's only after him for funds soon to be depleted for a good cause (cause: Mettaton). Just don't spend all of his (or rather, their) money on the wedding; that's a terrible way to start a married life: in debt, or at least broke.]
Unfortunate, the loss of the souls. As it sounds that your new ruler would make a much better use of them.
[Without knowing anything else about this woman he already favors her.]
Can you truly blame her for her despising of humans, considering what one of them had done to your previous king? If, as you say, she even had a change of heart in your scenario, she's not without reason- only reacting to the reality set out before her.
[Onto the true and most important casualty in this failed series of events: Mettaton's popularity.]
I assume your programming didn't take into account the change in tastes... had you used exclusively your rectangular form, and created shows based entirely around a loathing of humanity, perhaps your ratings may have been spared. ...Or they might have always been too angry to accept any sort of lighter entertainment at all, even as a distraction.
no subject
[A vivid recollection on Mettaton's part, honor-bound as he is.
He's patient enough to bide time to appropriately fund and structure their wedding, to avoid making any announcements until the time was right and the setting was picture-perfect. Mettaton's so hooked on the idea of broadcast, in fact, that he almost wonders if he could accelerate the introduction of television into this setting by virtue of having Inventive Friends who are surely capable of making TV Happen.
He could have his broadcasted wedding yet. That in itself would be an investment... And a detailed undertaking, but those aren't for the TV star to work out.
To start married life broke is not in Mettaton's cards. In debt but with money, that could work! Surely they could take out loans, then get rid of the people who they took out loans with. Start out lives as criminals instead... No.]
If they really killed some of our numbers... All right. She already disliked humanity. It wouldn't be hard to push her.
Still. It's one human. They must have felt threatened... Asgore is very big, and as far as monsters go, he would be our strongest. Stronger than me! If we were bosses in a video game, I would be the second-to-last! But I'm definitely the sexiest.
[There's breaking the fourth wall, and then there's straddling your own fourth wall with long sexy legs... That's Mettaton! This is otherwise incomprehensible, and also untrue.]
I'm good at catering to an audience. But I think fashioning an image after hating humanity isn't something I could do beyond a few episodes. It's not "me." Whatever. It never happened that way.
[It did in Papyrus' timeline of things, but as far as Mettaton cares, that's somehow less real than his own series of events.]
no subject
[As though there could be any doubt at this point.
Even if he would dislike the hassle and show of every part surrounding the ceremony (he would), Emet-Selch could appreciate Mettaton's dedication to the affair. What would be no doubt meticulous planning and consideration, that if he had decided on a particular aesthetic, aspect, item, condition, anything- he would make it happen. If it was to be a show, then the Ascian would want it to be a properly planned one, not thrown together with indifference (and perhaps he might even help with some aspects... perhaps; his Conjuration specialty is sure to come in handy somewhere).
With things he cared about, he knew Mettaton to be focused and persistent- it was a trait he shared with him, and one he genuinely appreciated in him. If Mettaton somehow found a way to introduce television to Aefenglom purely for the sake of broadcasting his wedding (and what a first program that would be, what a moment in this world's history)... he'd almost admire that (and of course, now with his favored medium now invented, why would Mettaton stop at broadcasting only this... no, it would be the beginning of a new era of entertainment for this world... how wonderful).]
Whether it was out of fear or malice, some of your people were killed by a member of the group who had imprisoned you. There could be no other result than this.
[Optimist that Emet-Selch is. And he just stares at that sexy straddling of walls, that wall has never been more fortunate or better framed.]
But no, I can't imagine you altering your style permanently for anyone but yourself. Your unlucky counterpart will just have to manage. Still. At least your future was spared that fate. Or worse.
[Mettaton's box form may have been nigh indestructible to a plucky child poking him with whatever they had picked up off the ground, but his humanoid robot self was not. Emet-Selch had watched it overheat itself into being unable to continue fighting... which had worked out in the end, with a human with no desires to kill him. And if his other self had survived to watch his popularity wane, at least he'd also been spared... but there could be no guarantee of that always being the case.]
no subject
[There's no doubt. Emet-Selch will say yes to him, when the time comes. Or, vice versa.
If Mettaton's to stay here for any extended period of time, the world will have to catch up to his standards of entertainment. Live, in-person shows are great, but he needs television. They may embrace internet with more readiness, given the use of Coven-sanctioned watches for Mirrorbound use (and, for the more well-off of Aefenglom's population). Perhaps a livestream is in his future, given that leap of tech... Mettaton's everything short of dead-set on the idea.
(Mettaton "invents" TV, reaps the benefits, uses it first to air his wedding, then dominates TV. A fitting way to live here.)]
I've altered my style to fit Aefenglom's demands! It's still true to me, however. I'm a flexible robot, for being so made of metal. Not flexible enough to truly make programming that supports the destruction of humanity, however. I have standards.
[Mettaton would protest that his humanoid body is no longer in such risk of overheating since its repair: if he could redo that face-off, he'd assert that he'd have no such troubles. Humans would have to kill him the old-fashioned way: a swift stab to the core of him.]
By the way! I was talking to Connor recently. I think you and I had a similar discussion... About aphrodisiacs. [Oh the network is a good place to talk about aphrodisiacs, surely] But more than that, about my body's composition. Connor told me... that he managed to experience intoxication via his Bonded! He's an android.
I bet I could get drunk if you did.
[And if that were the case surely everyone Emet-Selch were Bonded to would just get drunk. Poor Mikasa. Unless it were just a general-vicinity thing, who knows what the stipulations were.]
no subject
And yet here he is.
And he would not be surprised at all if his own desire for a private, personal arrangement to be completely overturned should Mettaton somehow create The Internet, and therefore gain the ability to ensure that everyone could bear witness to their union.]
It would be a tasteless thing to produce, I'll admit... and you know I've no love for humanity. I imagine humans themselves would be the best at creating that sort of entertainment, violent as they are by nature.
[But is there any better place than on the network to talk about aphrodisiacs? After the implied discussions on bruising and potentials for bone-jumping (and if only the technology could allow such a thing to be livestreamed... imagine it), it would be no worse, really. But drunkenness through Bond...?]
Did that work? I wonder how many similar experiences can be shared, if so.
[But now he was curious. He's not surprised they didn't discover it by accident; the Ascian did drink on occasion, but not to the point of getting drunk from it. How much did it take? For that matter, how much would Mettaton encourage him to try? Would Mettaton get the hangover as well, if he failed to avoid one?]
I suppose we can try it sometime, if you care to.
[Sorry Mikasa if this ends up hitting everyone... on the other hand, free tipsiness, without even having to buy your own liquor! Very cost-effective.]
no subject
[His fond tone can almost be heard in his description of human media, which fascinates him so. Yes, humanity's the perfect storyteller for their own cruel and violent demise. How many tales features the earned ruin of their kind because of some act of hubris or carelessness. Humanity loves to depict their self-ruination, at any rate. Mettaton doesn't need to do anything.
Upon reading Emet-Selch's acknowledgement of the Idea, Mettaton's ears flicker and stand alert, pleasure and anticipation his predominant mood.]
In any case... Yes!! I do care to. That is, if I couldn't simply try drinking while shapeshifted... But this way, I'd surely get drunk, even if my body fails to perform inebriation correctly! It's a fail-proof plan.
[One approach or the other is sure to work! Plan A: get drunk like a human, in a human body. Plan B: rely on his Bond and uselessly drink alcohol. No, there's no cost-effectiveness in Mettaton's end of the plan... He wants to partake in the drinking part! He can't pass up on that. (Mikasa, on the other hand, could get free intoxication, how lucky.)
The robot fantasizes about the mystery sensation of being drunk, something he's never actually experienced but considers: moments in his passion that feel particularly labored and dizzying, ones where everything's whittled down to whatever's in his focus. He imagines it to feel pleasant and numbing, something worth laughter and smiles, and he wonders what kind of presentation Emet-Selch will give him with inhibitions freed. He deserves to see him in every way, anyway.]
I suppose you don't often drink until you find yourself drunk, do you, darling? Or else I'd have noticed, surely... Maybe. How much does it take? What, three bottles of vodka?
[And Mettaton doesn't understand anything. Imagine him being put in charge of trying to get a crowd drunk. They'd die. He'd poison them.]
no subject
This too, does not surprise him, well aware of the man's fascination with any and all experiences. This much, at least, he could sympathize with, the desire to try everything out now that he could, now that he had a body that he loved and the capacity for sensation to go with it.]
No reason for you not to drink with me regardless, even if it ultimately fails you. As I imagine drunken shapeshifting would only be successful up to a point....
[It's the same reason why he hasn't suggested Mettaton try out asphyxiation. It would be impossible for his robotic self, and for the shapeshifted one- well. It could only go so far before he'd be made to release the transformation, he assumed.
And then Emet-Selch reads the rest and... his lover's inexperience with things like 'fatal amounts of alcohol' is just one more thing to not surprise him.]
Mettaton. That much would be quite effective.
[...]
It would also kill me. And 'twould not be the most pleasant of methods either.
But no, I don't tend to imbibe so much as to become particularly impaired, but if you insist, I may indulge your curiosity.
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[On one hand, the robot's willing to listen to something if it's described as deadly, some of the time. On the other, he's confused; something-or-other from some trashy movie is surely being misconstrued, leading Mettaton to believe he understands something about humanity. Three bottles of wine, perhaps, doing the trick for a heartbroken lead. Three bottles, the magic number.]
You must be thinking the same thing I am, about my shapeshifting. I don't know what it's like to be drunk... But if it distracts me at all, or reduces thought, well. My ability to hold such a guise might be compromised! But I might surprise us both. I DO have an easy time thinking about my body, after all... It's hard not to! You try going from a rectangular vessel to this one, and tell me you wouldn't be thinking about it ALL the time. Legs and hips, a waist to twist, a neck to turn... authentic flexibility! So many limbs to keep tabs on. Naturally, I do the same as a human. It's easy.
[The test would be if intoxication would lead him down the path of pure distraction from thinking about his body. Addle his mind, and even gradually warp the shapeshift? Would he forget to manually breathe? Who knew what would take place. Better to just let someone else get drunk for him, obviously.]
It could just be the two of us, darling. And # bottles of your alcohol of preference. I'm sure you can pick something I'd like!
[And given their previous comparison of preferences, it's likely to be that anything Emet-Selch prefers will suit Mettaton just fine. He won't know until he tries it!]
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[Mettaton does have certain... gaps in his understanding of organic entities. Which is entirely understandable, considering his limited contact with them, and no native practice. But Emet-Selch still sighs, wondering if he was explaining too much or too little, and whether the information would actually be accepted.]
Well, perhaps you won't have any trouble at all, then, as naturally self-centered as you are. Especially as you would presumably be particularly attuned towards looking for any changes in your body's condition.
[And he is admittedly curious as to what, if anything, would change about Mettaton's habits and personality in a drunken state.]
But of course it would only be the two of us. I've no intention of doing this before a crowd. [Especially since, well, even though he knows where his own limits are, he wouldn't be surprised if he ended up going past them at the puca's encouragement, if the effect felt through Bond wasn't sufficiently interesting. Hopefully Mettaton doesn't mind him getting more morose and tired.] I can find a small variety, I suppose, of varying strengths, though I'm limited by what's available here....
[He's also considering that it's fortunate that in the arena of flavors, at least, they had similar tastes.]
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[Did they have alcohol Underground? Probably, sure. Monster alcohol, that metabolizes instantly, maybe. Did Mettaton understand it? No. Does he think he understands alcohol? Yes. Did he serve wine at his restaurant? What kind of self-proclaimed classy establishment would forgo the "90-proof wine"? (Is that even wine anymore?)
His head. It's a labyrinth. He wouldn't listen to anybody who tried to advise him. Emet-Selch, however, gets some special privileges for being so helpful and also often agreeable to Mettaton's whimsy. And because he loves him.]
Because you're right. I only wish we could have the options we dream of! They seem to favor their gins and fortified wines...
Well. I trust you'll know your way around it all, beautiful. I knew you'd be willing to try it with me! Whether I can accompany you in a fully organic form, or if we're relying entirely on our Bond.
[Dumping the task in Emet-Selch's lap, as Mettaton does.]
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Well... each one has its place. A weaker spirit like wine only means you can enjoy more of it before becoming overly inebriated. With the stronger ones, you're meant to savor a much smaller amount.
[Though the lack of options was something of a pity, and Emet-Selch doubted that Conjuration would help in this case... if conjured food lacked nutrition, presumably conjured drink would lack its effects. Alas.
And this is one task the Ascian doesn't mind getting shouldered with. Less chance of him going entirely blind because Mettaton found something in an interesting bottle from some sketchy private distillery. It's fine.]
Even limited, there should be enough to entertain us for a time as it is. If we find something you particularly favor, it could be something to have available at the wedding.
[Because dry weddings are terrible. Not that they're even engaged yet but w/e, he knows it will happen.]
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[Aside from the assumption that they'd be poor quality (which, as it turns out, it might also be because of their potency), this... somehow explains why people might want to make wine both good, and "lower quality." Why make a fancy drink so low in ethanol? Well, Emet-Selch's just explained that for the robot. Even though he has no idea what moderation is... If someone wanted to merely enjoy a drink, just make it non-alcoholic. If someone wants alcohol, surely they want to just kill it.
He thinks in extremes, but at least this pieces together some aspect of organic living for his understanding. Wining and dining is a phrase that makes ever more sense. (Though entertainment could surely be had in vodkaing and dining, but it doesn't sound the same.)
A lot of private musing. Emet-Selch's fears about his picks are founded. Who knew what the robot would pick up along his merry way?]
There's an idea!! I have someone responding that it's his idea of a good wedding if there are drinks to be had. Yes. We'll need to be thorough, darling. Likewise, if you have a preference, it should be available.
[Their wedding, that is an inevitability, must be biggish and Emet-Selch would have no control over that. However, he has control... over drink options. This grace, how thoughtful. What other things could Emet-Selch have a say in, if not the size or grandness of the spectacle?]
Even though I have my desires, I want to incorporate yours into this just as much. That discussion we had earlier, about midway points. I'm sure you'll tell me your preferences along the way.
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He would be right, and I think most people would agree. But yes- there's time to discover things that we would both find acceptable. Or, we have no time at all, but we'll never know one way or another.
[The inevitable fatalism. But it will be a wedding with every type of cake and every type of booze, and far too many guests than the Ascian would ever care for receiving. And he can only sigh, at this being something that he would receive some say in. Details that he still, technically, didn't care particularly for, and which Mettaton would probably approve of anyway, assuming they shared similar tastes in liquors.]
Apart from a limit to size and general complication of the event, you know I have few desires one way or another. 'Tis like when we discussed flavor preferences... there will be little to enjoy.
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...He doesn't care to rationalize this any longer, nor spare any energy toward it. That's for the future to sort out, not Mettaton! He decides he'll believe with his whole heart that they'll have a long, long time to determine these details. They'll need it, if Mettaton's to achieve what he desires.
Engagement, on the other hand... It would be nice, calling Emet-Selch his fiancé. A thought to heat up even his more rectangular body by a fraction. And they could be engaged for however long it takes.]
Time or not, my eagerness is in contention with any requirement for patience. Still. As you know, neither of us like to do things by half-measures.
[Worlds could try to pull them apart, but Mettaton has decided that he's too eager for it to try. And he has a lot to accomplish before then. And once bound, departure on either of their behalf... how terrible, to leave their spouse behind!]
You always have the most brilliant outlook, darling. But I can think of something you'd enjoy. Me! In both flavor, and betrothal.
Speaking of flavor and marriage... What flavor would you fancy out of me during such a momentous occasion, my darling? The spicy passion of reds, of my ardor for you? The inviting, bitter depths of black, for my intensity for you? What's your dashing image of me on our wedding day?
[Is this about flavor, or about color, or about fashion, or about marriage? Mettaton...]
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I know.
[...But it was too late, he was already attached, and he doesn't think he would change it even if he could.]
I do love you for that.
[For a lot of things, but for not doing anything halfway. Be it wedding planning or sentiment, or anything else that caught his attention. And in a way, if they drew it out... how could the world ever allow their plans to go unfinished? And afterward, how could it bear to separate them? Even if that wasn't how reality worked, Emet-Selch held onto that thought.
Mood as it was (as it often was), he reads over again the remainder of Mettaton's reply... and again frowns at this insistence on colors having flavors. And so he just. Stubbornly ignores that part.]
Black would be easier to match with whatever other color schemes you decide on. 'Tis a classic shade regardless... it would be hard to go wrong with it.
[Pauses, as though unsure he should even mention this, on the off-chance Mettaton hadn't already thought of it; sighs and goes ahead anyway.]
Some choose to have different outfits for different parts of the event. Something for the ceremony itself, something else for the inevitable celebration afterward, that sort of thing. You could wear several things.
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Mettaton abruptly clears his throat as though someone were watching him, even though he's in his room. Silly. On all accounts.]
Black will take precedence in my considerations, then. As you like. But would you wear white to be my compliment? Or are you envisioning us wearing matching attire? We'd be a sight to ogle at, either way!
[Emet-Selch wearing white... Could he imagine it? Easily, actually. Like the white of a towel after a shower, or... Yes, what a trip for his thoughts to take. He decides not to pursue the mental image any further, and it's not difficult to do. Not when Emet-Selch reminds him of this critical feature of weddings.]
I'd nearly forgotten about that!! Not that it would have evaded me for long... A wardrobe shuffle is something I'm known for, darling. Had the concept not existed, I'd make it so. Then I can wear as many outfits as I please! Something for the ceremony... some things for the reception... Oooh. Maybe even an after-party, with our most favored guests. Then, I'd put on something just for you.
[surely the kind of outfit intended to be taken off. as if mettaton isn't somehow built to be completely without clothes as he is. and yet, when he wore lingerie, it flustered everyone. the power of suggestion...]
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Closing his eyes for a few moments, Emet-Selch sighs very quietly.]
Even if I don't generally prefer it as a main color, it might serve as a pleasing contrast to yourself. Perhaps with an additional color as a matching accent to us both.
[As he continues to veer between 'not giving a damn whatsoever' and 'actually does care about aesthetics if pressed.' Emet-Selch is a bit more vain than he realizes.]
But yes, I'm certain it would've occurred to you sooner or later, excessive as it is. I thought to get it out of the way.
I would hope this final outfit to be worth this implication of additional parties that you intend to subject me to.
[The power of suggestion indeed. The adding of clothing to imply what might lie beneath it... as well as remind that Mettaton was generally completely naked. It would be an extremely effective tease, and a novelty; it was rare enough that the robot was the one who needed undressed.]
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