TEXT; UN: AJC | Get it all off your chest

[sparkofgoodness]

Name: Crowley (un: AJC)
Date: 12th Septeril
Format: text

I've seen a lot of people use this thing to ask for advice, so I thought: why not just make one big post for it? Agony Aunts, Uncles, or Relatives of your Preferred Gender Expression are pretty popular column writers where I'm from and I just so happen to have plenty of time on my hands now. I've also got plenty of world experience, so I'm pretty sure I qualify for the role.

[ Does he, though? Does he really? Maybe he just wants to read about everyone's problems.

Spoilers: He really does. ]

So: send me your questions, and I'll give you my best take on things. Even get in a second opinion, sometimes. Love life troubles? Friendships falling apart? Neighbours giving you trouble? Weird parental issues? Business rival need taking town? Criminal activities you need advice on? Whatever you like. Don't have to sign your name to it if you really want.

Comments

[disasterstraight]

[ If only Zixuan had ever heard of Shakespeare... Methinks the agony aunt doth protest too much. ]

I see. Well, just because I see the benefit such a service could provide does not mean I have need of it for my own love life.

[sparkofgoodness]

Suit yourself.

If you ever change your mind, though, my door is open. Virtually.

[ Not his actual door. Just, you know, this one. ]

[disasterstraight]

Have you been living in this world long? How qualified are you to answer the sort of queries that new monsters and witches may have?

[sparkofgoodness]

[ Perhaps not the least qualified person you could meet, but he's close! ]

Oh, a few months now.

[ Three. Barely. The amount he's confused and messed up this witch and monster lore in that amount of time is comical. ]

Suppose I could help them out, if that's the most popular topic. Does seem to come up a lot.

[disasterstraight]

I have also been here for "a few months," yet I would not presume to claim to be an expert in solving people's problems.

Is this something you were in the habit of doing in your own world?

[sparkofgoodness]

Oh, yeah, all the time. Always in the middle of something sort of disagreement.

[ Thought, perhaps, not necessarily solving the dispute. ]

[disasterstraight]

Do you enjoy this kind of meddling or do you just have poor luck to always end up in the middle?

[sparkofgoodness]

[ What are these accusations!

.... Well. ]

Not always had the best luck, admittedly.

[ It's definitely both. ]

[disasterstraight]

Why, then, should others heed your advice?

[sparkofgoodness]

Gotta make mistakes to learn from them, haven't you?

[disasterstraight]

You can't be suggesting that you would intentionally give people bad advice?

[sparkofgoodness]

[ Uuuh, well, he might but that isn't what he's going to admit! ]

You always this paranoid? Anyway, no, meant bad luck has taught me plenty. Makes me great at seeing what might go wrong.

[disasterstraight]

And what else can go wrong, in a city where half of us are given power we were never meant to have, and the rest are transformed against our very nature?

[ Or, in Jin Zixuan's case, very much fitting with his nature as a vain, arrogant prick. ]

[sparkofgoodness]

Quite a bit, honestly.

[disasterstraight]

[ ... Like it or not, this AJC character has a point. ]

Why then think of tempting fate by inviting more problems to occur?

[sparkofgoodness]

Listen, I'm out here offering to help solve problems! I'm doing my bit to balance it all out!

[ In a manner of speaking. ]

[disasterstraight]

Maybe you can start by solving the problem of people using these watch devices for inane chatter when they could be saved for something more useful.

[sparkofgoodness]

[ Buddy. ]

Don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. Can't be that bad if you keep replying.

[disasterstraight]

[ Ah. Called out.

Funny. You give an ancient Chinese warrior access to the internet and he develops a social media habit. Strange how that is. ]

I am in between tasks this afternoon. This is as good a way to fill the time as any.