aefenglom | text; un: anonymous

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text; un: anonymous

Name: ANONYMOUS
Date: Before the event part 2
Format: Text

I swore I'd never make a post like this but I really am in a predicament and could use some perspectives.

Okay. So.

Let's say you are considering a pretty big life change. For example, moving in and sharing a living space with a significant other that you became close to, here. But both you and this person have bonded! And you're all REALLY close with said bonded! Like, also significant other levels. Or family. Just really really close.

How

do you manage all of those moving pieces? Can you? I feel like I'm going to lose my hair stressing over this.

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Ooh, Professor! Did you see this?

[Akko slides her watch across the table towards Chariot. As is typical of a teenager who has nothing else to do but wait (in this case, waiting on water to boil for tea), Akko pulled out her watch and began perusing what had been posted recently. It's then that she notices the highly anonymous post from Chariot, which is probably a moment of concern at a minimum. Surely, Akko has figured out the real identity of this anonymous individual. Especially being Bonded to her and sitting only a few feet from her.]

Maybe you should give them some advice since you got a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends.

[But bless her, it's Akko we're talking about here.]

[ She could really feel her soul peel away like old paint when Akko discovered the post. And she was definitely sure Akko had discovered her conflict.

But then it was worse. And now her soul wasn't so much peeling away as making a Silent Hill-style transition to a nightmare world. ]

H-hold on, just because I'm in a similar situation doesn't make me an expert. I barely hold all of this together!

[ Hopefully deflecting with some blunt honesty of a different sort would keep her from needing to be bluntly honest about the actual topic at hand. ]

[Akko seems to concede a little to that, sinking back into her seat and leaving her Watch in the middle of the table where it is instead of leaning so far forward. Chariot does make a really fair point that you can't really generalize relationships that much to call someone an expert in it. But Akko's never discouraged. Not that easily, anyway, and she sits back upright again, her ears atop her head mimicking the motion.]

Yeah, but that means you can probably relate to how they feel, right? So, even though you haven't been in their position, I bet you could still give them some good advice. Like, something that worked when you felt worried about something similar. It could just make them feel better knowing they're not alone with feelings like that. [There's a small bounce as she adjusts herself in her seat again.] Or, I mean, if you can't offer advice, maybe one of your boyfriends or girlfriends could! 'Cause they're in a similar situation, too, if they're dating you, right?

[This seems to be something Akko considers a stroke of genius because she seems to start putting even more thought into that.]

I don't know about Kaede 'cause she's kinda not great with people, but Fang? Fang's really decisive about stuff! She doesn't hesitate for anything. Or maybe Ozy? Didn't pharaohs have a bunch of wives or whatever? [She crinkles her nose a little.] Actually, maybe not him. He might be a little too old-fashioned in thinking about it being as old as he is. Especially since whoever wrote this doesn't seem to be married.

I think you should ask Fang.

I'm... not sure I should involve myself. Or anyone. In all that.

[ But strangely... something about what Kaede was saying made sense. Logically, she knew she had to talk to them all about it. Kaede, especially, since just like Akko said, she was the most sensitive to the situation. And Fang, being bonded to both her AND Ramesses... Plus Monika, who'd no doubt still want to live close to her adopted mother.

And, obviously... Akko, herself. ]

But, let's say, hypothetically it was me in this situation. Let's think about it that way, and you can ask yourself how you'd respond, if they were your bonded. It's a big life change, after all, right?

[Akko nods her agreement. Moving was always a big change in her experience whether it was going to another country or in with totally new people.]

I think I'd tell them as long as I still get to see you, it's not that big of a deal! I don't think anything would really change. [Granted, she was always over at Diana's and has since been over to Chariot's nearly all the dingdang time, but that's still a little different than living together. The expectations aren't quite the same.] Besides, aren't adults supposed to wanna live with their partner after a while? You've been dating everybody for a really long time...

[One would think that at this point, Akko might be putting the pieces together about the identity of the anonymous poster, but that's not the final destination of her thoughts. Instead,]

Actually... Now that I think about it, how come you only live with Fang? You spend pretty much the same amount of time with everyone else, right?

Well... Fang came first, really... and part of my Oath to her was to create a home she can always return to.

[ Chariot hummed, remembering that oath with a fondness that warms her face, and calms her down at least somewhat. ]

That's really my goal for all of you. Fang, Kaede, Monika, and you... to be the home you feel safe within, loved and appreciated.

I wonder if that's why out anonymous friend is so worried... that changing the home would change the nature of the relationship everyone has.

[Akko seems to give it a good amount of thinking before she ends up shrugging her shoulders.]

...I know I'm different whenever Kaede's over here at the same time. [Very literally sometimes. The second Kaede shows up, Akko can't get into her rabbit form quick enough to appease the other sometimes. She's pretty sure Kaede still hasn't figured out that it's her. But even when that doesn't happen and she stays just the way she is, Akko still tries to be on her best behavior in a different way than usual.] But I don't think that's such a bad thing. I get to know her better and we don't fight as much because of that.

So, maybe things could change in a good way like people getting closer!

Akko...

[ Chariot... hadn't really realized how much she needed to hear all of that. There was a noticeably wash of relief within the bond, as well as a swell of warmth. Akko's perspective and enthusiasm in believing in the best of situations really did have its own unique magic to it. Something that could never be taken from her. ]

Akko, I'm... the person who made that post. Ozymandius asked me if I'd like to move in with him.

[Akko blinks a few times, her gaze dropping down to the watch and back up to Chariot. She's only startled out of it once the kettle begins its whistling, to which she immediately hops up to take it off the burner. Once she turns the burner off and turns back toward Chariot, she seems less surprised and confused at that point, though it's less because the dots finally connected and more because Akko's usually fairly quick to accept what's in front of her so long as she's not in any particular disagreement about it.]

[With the surprise settled, she asks,]

So you're worried about me and everybody else? [She really doesn't need to ask though. It's what Chariot does.] Then I think my answer's still the same. You should just ask everybody what they think!

That's a lot easier said than done, Akko...

[ Really, that was the whole issue. The anxiety of even breaching the topic, of what everyone would think or feel. Akko was so straightforward, she supposed it hardly seemed like an issue, but Kaede and Monika were far from that. What's more, Fang was *also* bonded to him, which made things all the more complex. ]

It just feels like... too much.

Well, you had to talk to Ozy about it, right? [Akko brings the kettle over to the tea pot and pours the water in to start steeping the tea.] That probably didn't go awful since you're considering it. So, I bet the others would be the same.

[This seems sound logic to Akko.]

And besides, nothing bad happened talking with me, right?

[ Ah, Akko logic. It really was its own form of magic. ]

That's because you're you, Akko. You're nothing if not 100% earnest and forthright in most everything you are.

Also, you probably shouldn't call him "Ozy". He gets fussy about that nickname.

[Akko crinkles her nose a little, her ears flattening for a moment.]

But Professooooor, Ozymandias is so long to say every single time. And Fang calls him that all the time and she's Bonded to him, so--[Akko gasps deeply, ears and eyebrows both shooting straight up as she very nearly spills (thankfully she does not).] Wait a minute! Are Fang and him dating, too!? Is that like her special nickname for him!?

[She shakes her head furiously.]

I won't call him that again, promise!

[ Sometimes she forgets Akko's remarkable ability to jump to the wrong conclusion with incomplete information.

Chariot sputtered, waving her hands. ]

N-no, that's not the case at all! He just finds it annoying, and Fang likes annoying him, that's all!

[Akko sets the kettle down with a dull thump as she now begins trying to...work all of this out. Although she doesn't immediately say anything, a theater of emotions unfolds in her expression as her brows raise, knit together, one eyebrow rising as her lips sometimes purse together or break apart to begin to say something only to stop short.]

But...they're...Bonded...? [That's the new conclusion Akko arrives at. Her words come out slow and pitch up at the end for all her uncertainty and confusion. Akko shakes her head a little as she slowly sits down (almost missing the chair).] Wait, so she annoys him and likes doing it, and they're Bonded? But she annoys him. And she told you they both decided to Bond. Well, I guess they have to for it to work. But he's annoyed by her. But they're...Bonded?

[Akko rubs at her face. Why are the adults in her life so confusing???]

I've only known one person who said they Bonded with someone they didn't like at first, but they started to? But... She's still annoying? How are they even still Bonded!?

[ Chariot can't help laughing, shaking her head. Honestly, she wasn't surprised Akko was having trouble wrapping her head around it. Things were sometimes just Like That. ]

I never said they didn't get along. I think there's part of him that secretly enjoys it... but only from her. Like a friendly sort of teasing. He puts in airs of offense, but not once has he actually stopped engaging with her because of it.

[ The more she thought about it... the less she really should have been shocked that they decided to bond, in the end. ]

Oh.

[Akko says this, but nothing from what Chariot has said has actually managed to settle into something that makes coherent sense when she does. Not yet. It takes another second or two before tentatively,]

Sooo... They're... Like a brother and sister?

[Akko's voice pitches up much in the same way it does when she's offering a very uncertain answer in class while hoping like hell even if she isn't completely right, partial credit's at least on the table. It never is, but the hope never dies either.]

I... guess?

That's not really it, either, but I suppose it's close enough.

[ She didn't want to spend too much time dissecting their relationship. She knew she trusted them both to take care of the other should the need ever arise, and loved them both dearly. She'd dealt with the shock, of course, but... that was ultimately all that mattered. ]

There's also the matter of you and Kaede, of Ozymandias' other bonded, of Monika...

It's a lot of things to stress over, for a decision like this.

[Chariot's not...wrong insomuch there do seem to be a lot of moving parts and people to consider, but]

So then you should definitely talk to them! It's the only way to figure it out.

Well. [ Chariot sucked in a breath, letting it out slowly. ]

Yes, I know that. But doing it is really intimidating!

Why?

[Coming from anyone else, the question might seem facetious. But Akko's expression and tone are 100% genuine. She doesn't understand and wants to.]

[ That was... a very difficult question for Chariot to really confront. She didn't have an answer for it, that was certain, and attempts to somehow rationalize her anxiety never seemed to do anything but make it spike further. No doubt Akko could even feel that within the bond, the prickly, needling shape that that just seemed to spike and jolt. ]

I don't... I don't know, Akko. I just don't. It's terrifying to me and there's no logical reason why...

This kind of thing it... it's not supposed to make sense. I've lived with it for a very long time.

Oh.

[It's all Akko can really say at first. Part of it is because she's trying to wrap her head around what Chariot is saying, trying to imagine what it would be like to have that sort of thing constantly in the back of your mind for no real reason. (Part of her is also trying to reconcile it a little, too. Even if she knows the woman she saw performing on stage isn't exactly the same as her professor, it still seems hard to believe someone capable of inspiring so many people like that could be weighed down so easily by her own mind.) And the other part is that she can feel that ebb and flow of it through the Bond, and she'd like to make it go away for Chariot, but it's hard knowing that she can't...realistically do anything about it.]

[One of Akko's ears swivels instinctively in the direction of a distant sound outside as the silence hangs in the air between them. And then she moves over to hug her professor tightly.]

Everyone loves you, Chariot. Just try to remember that. No matter how scared you get.

[ Chariot of course returned the hug, maybe not as tightly, but just as sincerely. The faith Akko had in her was its own well of strength she could draw from, seemingly endless. She always wanted to endeavor to be even half the woman Akko thought of her as. And not just Akko, but the same woman Fang and Kaede saw. That Ramesses saw. That her daughter, Monika, saw. ]

Thank you, Akko... through that love, maybe I can find my courage...

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