text; un: anonymous

[beariot]

Name: ANONYMOUS
Date: Before the event part 2
Format: Text

I swore I'd never make a post like this but I really am in a predicament and could use some perspectives.

Okay. So.

Let's say you are considering a pretty big life change. For example, moving in and sharing a living space with a significant other that you became close to, here. But both you and this person have bonded! And you're all REALLY close with said bonded! Like, also significant other levels. Or family. Just really really close.

How

do you manage all of those moving pieces? Can you? I feel like I'm going to lose my hair stressing over this.

Comments

[cryptsleeper]

Communication.

Everything you just put out gets said face to face. You go from there. It is both easier and harder than my statement makes it seem.

[beariot]

Okay. Yes. But how?

[cryptsleeper]

Because things got a little confusing: how many people are involved here? Three including yourself?

un: aquila

[leitstern]

You manage by accepting reality, do you not? Those pieces you mention are facts you cannot change. There are reasons to each and every one.

In short, simply ask yourself, "What are my options?" Do you want to be miserable or do you wish to enjoy whatever remains of your life?

[beariot]

I feel like you might be misunderstanding the situation here. I won't be miserable if I choose not to move in with them. It's not a binary choice between bliss and misery, here.

It's more like

gambling on a potential greater amount of happiness, but the risk is possibly alienating a lot of people you really care about.

voice; un: jinsei

[blind_benevolence]

Hm, you do have quite a predicament on your hands with that many people involved.

[ Suddenly he feels sort of lucky that he and Eileen are only bonded to each other. Not a big mess to sort out. ]

Communication is key, but I'm sure you know that. You're not all planning on living together, are you?

[beariot]

Given the bond situation for both of us, it's probably best if at least most of us live together.

[ She's trying not to say there's someone they're BOTH bonded to because that situation is probably unique enough it'd give the whole thing away... ]

action

[recklessbelief]

Ooh, Professor! Did you see this?

[Akko slides her watch across the table towards Chariot. As is typical of a teenager who has nothing else to do but wait (in this case, waiting on water to boil for tea), Akko pulled out her watch and began perusing what had been posted recently. It's then that she notices the highly anonymous post from Chariot, which is probably a moment of concern at a minimum. Surely, Akko has figured out the real identity of this anonymous individual. Especially being Bonded to her and sitting only a few feet from her.]

Maybe you should give them some advice since you got a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends.

[But bless her, it's Akko we're talking about here.]

[beariot]

[ She could really feel her soul peel away like old paint when Akko discovered the post. And she was definitely sure Akko had discovered her conflict.

But then it was worse. And now her soul wasn't so much peeling away as making a Silent Hill-style transition to a nightmare world. ]

H-hold on, just because I'm in a similar situation doesn't make me an expert. I barely hold all of this together!

[ Hopefully deflecting with some blunt honesty of a different sort would keep her from needing to be bluntly honest about the actual topic at hand. ]

text; un - nya

[ranyaulf]

I don't! That's how I manage them.

I let my bonded do it while I support him one hundred percent. When it comes to moving pieces, he does it better than anyone.

[beariot]

I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I left a decision this important to someone else.

text; un: styx

[tothemetal]

just get a really big house ?

[...yeah, Styx isn't exactly the master of expert or nuanced advice here.]

[beariot]

The size of the house isn't really the issue, here.

un; nocturne

[synchroswim]

iiiiiiits not really moving in with a uh
significant other for me but i... sorta ended up moving in with a bunch of people who were bonded with each other and are super tight with each other. me? nnnnot so much at the time for a bunch of reasons but

i just kinda... went with the flow of stuff i guess? still kinda am but its getting better
and talking, even if its kinda awkward sometimes :(

[beariot]

I'm glad to hear it wound up working out for you, in the end. But I think the existing connections complicate my situation a lot more.

I honestly kind of wish I had the luxury of being on the outside, here.

text; un: magicowl

[getting_better]

1) Holy shit.

2) I think the root of the problem is that you're trying to tackle everything at the same time and clearly by yourself. Unless there's something the other two from communicating like, I dunno - a blood feud or something, I think your best bet is to just sit down with the parties involved and talk it out. I mean, who knows, they might just be tearing their hairs out too.

[beariot]

Well it's not 'other two' and more like. A very large number of people. We both have three bonds each, and even other people beyond that. [ At least on her part. ]

text | un: conquerorking

[towards_okeanos]

Maybe you could all move in together? That would solve a lot of logistics issues. If your house is too small for everyone to fit you can always find a bigger one. Because otherwise, I don't see what else would need managing here.

Or is the problem really that any of those people dislike each other?

[beariot]

The problem is getting that many people with their own desires and needs agreeing to something like that. Even if none of them dislike one another, it could still cause problems!

text: un; f*uckingusername

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Sounds like you should have your own sitcom. We talking polygamy or just that you think the other bonded are gonna have to hear you two making out all the time?

Anyway, someone already said it, communication's the key.

[beariot]

Well, you mention polygamy, and I feel the need to point out that, while it's not true of EVERY connection in this web, a lot of us are romantically connected. If that makes any sense.

And probably is a big part of what makes this whole situation so anxiety inducing.

un: shirogane

[galrarm]

Take it from someone who's lived with a lot of different people: You're never going to have a perfect or harmonious environment at all times. If you try, it'll just end up burning you out and causing more problems.

Opening up avenues for communication can help mitigate some of that. But it's definitely possible to make it happen, if you're committed to it. Let everyone know their voice will be heard. If you care about each other, you'll find a way to make it work.

[beariot]

All of that makes logical sense. I fear it's the very much not logical, anxiety riddled part of me that's collapsing at the very thought of bringing it all up.

[loadme]

This is something you must really want, right?

[beariot]

[ ... ]

Yes. A very selfish part of me wants this, and for everyone to be happy with it.