text; un: anonymous

[beariot]

Name: ANONYMOUS
Date: Before the event part 2
Format: Text

I swore I'd never make a post like this but I really am in a predicament and could use some perspectives.

Okay. So.

Let's say you are considering a pretty big life change. For example, moving in and sharing a living space with a significant other that you became close to, here. But both you and this person have bonded! And you're all REALLY close with said bonded! Like, also significant other levels. Or family. Just really really close.

How

do you manage all of those moving pieces? Can you? I feel like I'm going to lose my hair stressing over this.

Comments

[beariot]

Hate is a pretty far end in terms of the spectrum of bad results that could influence this. No one hates each other, but we've also all had plentiful personal and emotional space before this.

And I don't know if something that would make me happy would make everyone happy and I just don't know if it's worth trying to balance any of that.

[tothemetal]

if everybody cares then theres gotta be something in the middle where everybodys happy
its scary but i think not going for itd be way worse





maybe just get two houses next to each other ?

[he's trying, ok.]

[beariot]

[ She can tell, at least. He had his heart in the right place. ]

I wish a 'middle' existed here. Ideally, someone could opt out of the situation, and no one would feel anything over it, but... I'm not confident that would be the case.

[tothemetal]

dont think thats something to really be upset about though
its nice to have that many friends i think :)
lots of people dont

[beariot]

Then you'd think I could be happy with just having that many people around me that I love and love me back, and yet

I still find myself selfishly waiting for this.

[tothemetal]

dont think thats selfish
just means you want everybody to be as happy as you are
or uh
sounds that way to me anyway

[beariot]

It's

difficult to not think of that as selfish, though. Do I want that happiness for their sake, or just for my own?

[tothemetal]

isnt that like
the same thing though ?
i bet you being happy makes them happy too
so
theyre probably thinking the same right now

[beariot]

I don't think someone's happiness should really hinge on the happiness of someone else.

[ despite her... doing exactly that. ]

[tothemetal]

why not ?
its nice to make people happy :)
i think anyway

[beariot]

Okay but the keyword here is "hinge on". If your own happiness is entirely reliant on the happiness of others, that's not really healthy.

[tothemetal]

i guess ?

[he doesn't understand at all, but Styx always defers to the other person being right in any situation. it's certainly just something he's too stupid to grasp, no matter how simple.]

but i dont think i could be happy if everybody around me wasnt too
you know ?

[beariot]

I feel like that's a little different from what I'm talking about.

[tothemetal]

ummm probably !
i dont have too many friends to start with so i dont have too much experience with this kinda thing

[beariot]

When I first came here, I was really inexperienced in a lot of social things, as well. Or at least, I'd never dated anyone and only had a small number of friends.

[tothemetal]

oh no shit !
hey thats really cool
its like everybody was waiting for you here :)

[beariot]

I

don't really think it was like that.

I mean, cosmically speaking, there might have been energies guiding us to one another, but I don't think anyone is here specifically FOR me.

[tothemetal]

uh
but
didnt you say you were dating someone here ?

[beariot]

Yes but that doesn't mean they were here FOR me.