aefenglom | text | un: feal

Mm... this sort of thing really forces you to grow up fast, doesn't it?

[She doesn't know how old he is for certain, of course, but she could hazard a guess that he's around Rikku's age, maybe a little older. Age itself is just a number, but he hasn't been out on his own yet— she can see how that would be absolutely overwhelming if you didn't have time for prepare for it.]

It would be challenging for anyone, but because of that, everyone here kind of... understands? And a lot of them help one another. That's been my experience, anyway. You don't have to do everything alone.

... yeah.

[Having had his whole life ripped out from under him in about five different ways over less than a year, Ferran is absolutely not prepared to be an adult. But he has to try anyway, because it's not like anyone is going to coddle him, understanding or not.

Giving him such a solid sense of security for so long was probably part of that man's plan to ruin him, wasn't it.]

I don't know what I'd do if there wasn't anyone around to help. [Well, he does know, but that's pretty morbid for the current conversation.]

It sounds like you've managed to do well for yourself so far, at least. You've made good friends— you even have bondmates already.

[Not that he'd mentioned that himself, but she Knows Things, of course.]

You're lucky. I was slower about it, and I do regret it, sometimes. It made certain things harder than they needed to be.

[Friends... As personable as Ferran likes to think of himself as being, to say those he's met are friends so soon feels a bit premature. Basically staying among the same people his entire life makes it a little difficult for him to adjust to that mindset so quickly. Not that he doesn't intend to be friendly, of course... and he wouldn't object if someone else called him a friend.]

R-right. I guess out of everything, that seemed like one of the easier issues to resolve...

[Sending out what amounted to a desperate plea on the network and praying for results somehow actually worked. He doesn't consider Karin's knowledge of that worrying in any way, in part due to bringing up Rikku earlier.]

And the most important.

Harder for some, I think. I worried about being able to trust someone enough to make that kind of a commitment. It's a partnership, after all.

[She's slowly, slowly circling around to why she'd wanted to meet with him now, though her tone remains pleasant.]

Rikku is very generous, though. Maybe a little too much, sometimes. I worry about her.

Mm.

[Ferran still doesn't think much of the connection—he takes it seriously, of course, but considering it a commitment in the long term isn't quite the same. He's done his utmost to keep his nonsense to himself, but other than that, it's something without much of an emotional element for him.

He at least had enough foresight to look into if and how Bonds could be nullified, though; he mostly expects his bonded partners to eventually find others and ask to break it off, but by then he assumes he'll have met enough people that he doesn't need to be desperate in searching for someone else. ... Probably, anyway. He'll manage somehow.

As he's thinking of all this, there's a mild furrow in his brow.]

She is that... [The fact that he owes her for lending him a little for essentials is frequently on his mind.] I'm grateful for it. I used to be the same way... but I had the resources for it, I guess.

[He's been pretty shitty on the positive anything front in the past three quarters of a year.]

Edited (??? what was that word for) 2020-11-09 05:36 (UTC)

It certainly is an admirable quality, I'll give her that. She also trusts people very easily.

[With that, she shifts in her seat and places both of her elbows on the table, folding her hands just beneath her chin so that she can rest it atop them. She pauses long enough to thank the waitress when she stops by to deliver their order, then fixes her gaze squarely on Ferran.]

I told her I would be very interested in meeting any potential bondmates. You know, just to make sure they're well-suited to the task.

[Sounds reasonable.]

Right.

[Ferran picks up his cup and takes a long sip of his tea, thoroughly distracted by the promise of a refreshing meal after the morning he's had. He's right in the middle of that sip when Karin's words register in relation to him, and he blinks faintly, finally noticing the intensity of her stare.

He never got to the "meeting the family" point with any of his relationships, at least not in a "how are you treating my daughter" way, so this is new territory. He swallows his tea, taking advantage of his emotional exhaustion to quash any awkwardness he might feel. Well, most of it—he ends up avoiding her gaze.]

Uh, what sort of person... would you consider well-suited?

[They're kind of past "potential" at this point.]

[She smiles knowingly— well, he picks up on things fairly quickly, at least. She likes that.]

First off, I'd hate to see anyone take advantage of her kindness without the intent of giving something back.

[She may be speaking more from her own experience on this one, but she does worry about Rikku all the same. The girl can certainly take care of herself, but she's young and she hasn't been exposed to quite the same people Karin has— those who seek to use others for their own ends without a care in the world.

Fortunately, just from talking to Ferran as much as she already has, she has a good feeling that's not him.]

Actually, I already have a pretty strong impression of you. You mean well, I think— and seeing as you two didn't waste any time, I'm sure she thinks so, as well.

[She Knows.]

[Ferran clears his throat, feeling uncertain as to what sort of impressions he's been giving off. Mostly, he feels it's been 'sad, pathetic, and in great need of help,' which doesn't exactly speak to any reciprocity on his end.]

I... guess that must be the case.

[This was the lecture Rikku was warning him about, even if she didn't know it at the time. He threads his own fingers together, mirroring Karin's position but with significantly less confidence, as the anxious tightening of his grip might imply. The moons' pull on him hasn't yet evaporated.]

That's part of why... nothing has felt like "enough," yet. Temporary jobs, selling what amounts to pieces of myself— [ferran maybe you should be a little more on the down low about—no? ok] —it's surviving, but that's it.

I don't like the thought of owing more than I can repay.

[Look, Ferran, people do all sorts of things to get by. You could do far worse than selling your mouthstring.]

That's a good answer.

[Her smile softens a bit, even as it quirks to one side. However he might feel about what he'd said, she clearly likes it.]

I understand. I feel the same way, actually. I don't like to owe anyone anything. I think partnerships should be equal.

[That's certainly the mindset he's got going for him right now, even if it may not turn out so great eventually. Consequences, schmonsequences.

He hums his agreement, although he doesn't entirely agree with the statement when it comes to himself. He's always been so used to being the "giver" in most of his relationships, and he'd definitely prefer to go back to that. Maybe sometime he'll consider how the security and control it gave him was something he'd heavily relied on, but for now he just knows he doesn't like needing what he sees as charity.]

I guess I just have to keep looking until I can figure out how to make that happen...

[Who knows? Maybe he'll eventually get desperate enough to resort to the classic fairy gold...]

You'll find something. We all will, as long as we keep trying. If there's something you were good at back home, you could try to make use of that here.

[She knows it's not always that simple, that not everything has an easy application, or some people might be lacking in what they feel are useful skills, but there's always a foothold to be gained somewhere.]

Some of the odd jobs that get posted are interesting. I've never stayed with any of them for too long, but you could find something that suits you. The important thing is that you keep at it.

[Optimism, Ferran!]

I don't know that I have a lot of useful skills right now.

[He absolutely does, but it's hard to make that realization when he hasn't spent much time thinking of what he can do as marketable. He's only had one career in mind for so long... and not to mention he's just come from losing magic that would help him get by pretty much anywhere.

He lets out a sigh. He's not optimistic by any stretch of the imagination, but he won't give up quite that easily.]

But... yeah. Something will work out. I'm just glad there was something simple to do last month.

[It's hard to mess up raking leaves.]

Rikku might be able to give you a few ideas.

[Rikku is even more persistent on the optimism front than Karin is, and has given her a whole lot of helpful nudges over the months they've known one another.]

She's pretty inventive in general. She might think of something that wouldn't seem obvious to you or me.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to ask...

[She seems younger than him, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't be helpful in that department. From what they've discussed, her world is very different from his... and it's not like everyone older than him would have the magical boy experience he does, either.]

I guess you have to be pretty good at ideas when your society bans machines.

That's my assumption, too. Of course, if I think of anything myself, I'll pass that along your way, as well.

[She folds her hands together as she adjusts her position in her seat, leaning in over her cup of tea as though she's about to cut him in on some big conspiracy.]

I think it goes without saying that as Rikku's sister-figure here, I only want what's best for her. Naturally, I'm going to be protective, but I also know she's a smart girl who can take care of herself. The truth is, I'm not really the one you have to worry about.

Thanks.

[He has to wonder what brought them to be so close, that Karin would consider Rikku in that way. Will he end up with that kind of relationship with anyone? It's hard to imagine.

Just when he was sure the uncomfortable topic was over, though—he raises his eyebrows faintly at her emphasis. What... does that mean.]

Uh... I'm almost afraid to ask.

[Oh, it's far from over.]

We have another housemate— my bondmate, Lightning.

[The two of them have a lot in common, including similar life experience, but it only takes a few minutes of speaking to either of them to realize that Karin is definitely the more open of the two.]

She can be a little intimidating, if you don't know any better, and she's going to be a much harder sell. She's actually really sweet, but don't tell her I said so.

[Ferran sighs, resting his forehead against a hand.]

You make it sound like I'm trying to swindle you all out of something...

[He's not looking forward to this!!]

Any suggestions?

Well, maybe not swindle, but you're in a position to look after something valuable to the both of us.

[She grins— she's enjoying this just a little too much, probably.]

Mm, be respectful above all things. Did I mention we're both ex-military?

[If she can get him to salute Lightning, it will make her whole month.]

You didn't. Thank you.

[How much flat teenage sarcasm can a person shove into a statement of gratitude? Sadly for Karin, Ferran is not nearly patriotic enough to salute... like, anybody. He wouldn't be caught dead in the military.

~~Whether his new Fae nature will allow him to be fully respectful when he meets Lightning is another gamble, so that'll be fun.~~]

Any chance I could ask you to reassure her?

[It's fine, it was the German military in her case. Most people aren't big fans of them, anyway.

That flat sarcasm gives her cause to bite back a laugh, and she shakes her head in response.]

I suppose I could try to lay some groundwork for you, but she likes hard evidence.

[What does hard evidence even mean! Even if he were to be polite to her, everything is a matter of perspective. Being a decent person doesn't produce hard evidence.]

I can't exactly get a certificate of integrity... [SIGH.]

Well—how did you get her to like you? [Hardasses almost always have some kind of soft spot. He just needs an in.]

I'm sure you'll figure out some way to prove yourself.

[There's no way to get a certificate, no, but they'll be watching.]

Me? I had it easy. Once she realized we felt the same way about how seriously the commitment of bonding with someone should be taken, and she saw how I could take care of myself on the field, we realized we had a lot in common. Helps if you don't trust the Coven, too.

[Lightning appreciates those who are sus.]

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