video / advertising by idiots.

[battlebound]

Name: Steak (un: steak)
Date: 4/3
Format: Video

( hey, Aefenglom, long time no see. Steak isn't much for using the network — it's time he could much better use practicing his fighting skills or helping others — but today is a bit different, as he has an announcement to make to the Mirrorbound at large.

and Red Wine may or may not be here too. )

Ahem. ( it's a bit different announcing things like this rather than through word of mouth and flyers, isn't it? )

I am Steak of the Canaa— ( hold up, this is already a shitshow. he levels a glare at someone Red Wine behind the camera and breaks off his sentence to utter a very firm; ) We are the Knights of the Holy Sword!

( hmph. returning to the topic at hand. )

White Day is approaching ( he’s talking with far too severe a tone for this topic, as though he’s announcing a declaration of war on the city rather than the actual contents of the cue cards from which he’s reading. ) and the Knights of the Holy Sword will be providing deliveries of flowers starting at 1800 cunes. 

If you wish to order a bouquet — ( hold up part two. ) You think I can’t pronounce that?! ( huff. he is not going to punch Red Wine. yet. ) — a bouquet, for yourself or someone else, you can call myself or Red Wine on our watches. We will fulfil any order you desire.

( he thinks within reason goes without saying, and so he doesn’t say that. )

Thank you for your attention.

( Steak out. )

Comments

video;

[polterguide]

[Why are these old as hell immortal beings so............. Like This.

Bailey can’t hide the smirk on their face, as they prop their chin on their hand.]

Yeah, sure, I’ll take a bouquet.

[...]

Do I get a discount?

video;

[battlebound]

( they need something to fill their time.

also, just have a flat look, Bailey. )

No discounts. Ask Red Wine to buy you some.

( he's providing bouquets to the people he knows. Red Wine can stop being a bastard for a minute and gift his partner something. )

[polterguide]

But what if I want one from you?

[What if they just want to watch the world burn?]

[battlebound]

( in that case... )

Fine. No discounts.

[polterguide]

[SIGHS.]

Fine, fine, but you better make this worth it.

[It’s not even that expensive...]

[battlebound]

Why wouldn't I?

( this job is so embarrassing, but the money is always good. he just has to swallow his pride for a little bit, and maybe enjoy throwing Red Wine into this ridiculous get up for half the day, too. )

Audio un: Linden Tailor

[hearthebell]

I don't suppose you have black dahlias in stock.

audio;

[battlebound]

We can order some.

( they're mostly working on an order-by-order basis, and thankfully Steak has worked at DiplomaTea for a long time now. different flowers shouldn't be a problem. )

text; un: magicowl

[getting_better]

May I just say, you and your friend have such fantastic names.

[ And he mean that. ]

But on to the matter at hand, I'd like to order a bouquet, a "get well soon" and white day kind if you can fulfill that order.

[battlebound]

Mine's better. ( #mature )

So, two separate bouquets? Are there any flowers you would like in them? The default is roses.

( he'll... research those flowers. or just ask the people at DiplomaTea, because he sure as hell doesn't know anything beyond a rose. )

[getting_better]

[ There's a competition in there that he is not going to get into. ]

One big bouquet, preferably, or if you and your friend would like to make a competition about it then you can each make one.

[ Not in person at least. ]

As for flowers, I wish I could give you some specifics but I was never much of a botanist. I can say that roses might be a bit on the more romantic side and it doesn't really match our relationship. Maybe something like lilies or camellia if you have those.

[battlebound]

( that would be the smartest idea. it's been going for longer than the human lifespan, don't do it. and maybe this reply takes a minute because Steak has to yell at a snorting Red Wine first, but it does come.

(Aren't you glad this is text?) )

We'll fulfil those requirements, you have my word.

( ...god, Steak. )

[getting_better]

Thank you. How long would it take by the way? Oh and, money isn't a problem so just make it nice and pretty.

[ If their bickering would lead to better bouquets, then he'll throw any kind of fuel into that fire. ]

[battlebound]

Everything will be completed and delivered on the 14th.

( he doesn't need to do much, their default state is fired up and ready to compete with each other. this whole gig is a competition. )

[getting_better]

Thank you. Please make the card out to one 'Saori Nakagawa', from Bishop and Stellaluna with the message 'Please don't ever scare us like that again'.

[ Which he thinks will amuse her, seeing as how he scares the crap out her all the time. ]

[battlebound]

Understood.

( it will be delivered on time, but god only knows that getting there will be... a challenge, now the flames of competition have been stoked between Steak and Red Wine, and they don't even have Gingerbread here to tell them both to stfu. )

audio;

[silentsavant]

[Uh-oh. Soren's been having some memory problems here and there, and so when he watches this advertisement from a man who looks familiar to him, he wonders with slight concern whether the foreign holiday really is foreign... or whether he forgot it. No one else in the comments so far has even questioned this, which makes him feel even more the odd one out. He's hardly one to care for festivals and celebrations and the like, but his memory might be at Steak stake...]

What is White Day?

audio;

[battlebound]

( unfortunately, Steak can't place the voice on the other end. it's vaguely familiar, but hidden in a haze of alcohol and enchantments designed to hide an identity.

but he can at least answer the question. )

It's a holiday to reciprocate the gifts given on Valentine's Day.

( AKA, pointless but good for business. )

[silentsavant]

[ . . . ]

And... what is Valentine's Day?

[battlebound]

( hm, he supposes there are worlds like this too. god, that would have been an easier life. less romance, more fighting evil. )

It's a day where people gift their beloved flowers and chocolates.

[silentsavant]

Is that so... It seems somewhat excessive to have an entire day dedicated to returning gifts. If everyone is already giving their beloved a gift, wouldn't the gift given on Valentine's Day have already been a sufficient exchange?

[The fact that this is good for certain businesses does not escape Soren's observations.]

[battlebound]

( and if you really wanna get into it, who needs a specific day to gift the people who mean the most to them? )

The humans created this holiday, not me.

( Steak thinks it's nonsense, but even he has the sense to know that isn't something he should say while advertising for it. )

[silentsavant]

Humans do enjoy finding reasons to celebrate something. And getting people to spend gold.

[There is a lingering problem nibbling at the back of Soren's mind. However, asking would completely expose his inability to remember basic things... or make him seem like a complete newcomer, should he be forgetting a festival widely celebrated in Aefenglom.]

Is it one that the people from your world made up?

[battlebound]

( Steak hums a soft sound of agreement at that comment. humans sure can find any reason to celebrate and spend money. the celebrations are good at least. and making money isn't too bad, either. )

It was native to Tierra, yes. I don't know how many other worlds know of it.

( admittedly. but no one else seems to question it so far. )

[silentsavant]

[Well, that answers the question he was reluctant to ask. A wave of relief washes over him.]

Truth be told, the concept itself isn't a foreign one to me. There are a number of festivals from my world where part of the celebration involves giving gifts to express a certain sentiment. Love would be one of them. Of course, I have never had chance nor reason to participate in something like that, but...

[but... but what? He's not sure where he was going with this, much less with someone he barely knows, so he lets his sentence trail off there.]

[battlebound]

( festivals are a good time, both from a business and a free time perspective, honestly. )

Do you trade gifts at Christmas?

( or even have Christmas as a holiday? )

[silentsavant]

[Christmas? It takes Soren a beat to figure out if he remembers it or not. Nothing comes to mind, so...]

No, I can't say that I have. Christmas is also foreign to me. Besides, I was a mercenary. I couldn't afford to concern myself with holidays or frivolities unless it was part of a job.

[Except what he WON'T mention is how close-knit most members of the company were - enough to spare a scrape of personal funds for gifts and nice things here and there. But Soren is the cold-hearted Scrooge of the bunch who never grew up giving presents to be wholly comfortable with these "normal" gestures, much less receiving them.]

[battlebound]

( and Steak is Not A Mercenary (shut up, Red Wine), but he is a travelling knight and even between the permanent bickering rift that is him and Red Wine, they give gifts.

...admittedly, they're usually pranks but the point stands. )

I see. ( hm. well... ) They are good for jobs.

( case in point: this whole post. )

[silentsavant]

That much is apparent.

Well, thank you for satisfying my curiosity. I don't know anyone who would appreciate a White Day gift, so I won't be buying any flowers. I will, however, recommend the Knights of the Holy Sword to anyone who demonstrates a need for such a service.

[A flower delivery service with a name like Knights of the Holy Sword... Well, judging by his appearance, Soren is sure the appeal of the deliverymen could be part of the package. Most girls especially would be delighted to have him at their doorstep.]

[battlebound]

( the appearance is definitely part of it, according to everyone who has previously ordered flowers back on Tierra. and several people who simply saw him. it's not exactly his preferred job but, well, money's money. )

Thank you! ( he smiles a toothy, bright grin, and rubs the back of his head before adding. ) If you know anyone who needs monsters disposing of, we can also do that.

( pls. he would much rather use his swords. )

[silentsavant]

I shall be careful who I advertise that service to. I might be talking to a monster, after all.