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[nobunagastan]

Name: Nobukatsu Oda
Date: July 5th
Format: Text

So… Admittedly, I didn’t really pay much attention to orientation. But I couldn’t not notice that my Sister seems to be turning into a cosplayer. I haven’t wanted to say anything, but I’m worried about her getting a taste for human blood. What should I do?

P.S. How can I get her to bond with me without eating me?

Comments

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[beariot]

I have a few questions before I answer.

Probably a lot of questions.

Re: text

[nobunagastan]

I have time for questions![There's not a smiley face to end the line, but it feels like there should be.]

Re: text

[beariot]

Well.

1) Cosplayer?

2) What about being a cosplayer has anything to do with human blood??

3) Why are you worried about her eating you????

Re: text

[nobunagastan]

There's a lot of cosplayers around. Haven't you seen them? And they all seem really into it... I'm worried that my sister has fallen in with a bad crowd.

[beariot]

[ Wait a minute. A lot around... did he mean? ]

I'm not sure how else to tell you this so I'll just say it: Those aren't cosplayers.

[nobunagastan]

... I missed out on something important, didn't I?

[beariot]

I'm afraid so. But it's okay! We've all only been here a short while, so you've got time to catch up.

But those people, your sister included, are basically experiencing the process of transforming into the cardinal monsters of this world. It seems to be a side effect of both the mirrors were transported from and possibly, at least I think, the Cwyld. But no one fully knows for certain.

[nobunagastan]

Oh no... she's going to be so excited. Although she probably already knows.

... Does this mean she's really at risk of eating me? Actually, which types of cardinal monsters eat people? Is this why they want us to bond?

[beariot]

Well, you mentioned a taste for blood, yes?

Are there any other habits she's been exhibiting? Physical differences?

[text]

[spaghettimonster]

A... 'COSPLAYER'?
LIKE THE ANIME THING?
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANIME MAKING PEOPLE EAT ANYONE.

Re: [text]

[nobunagastan]

Haven't you ever heard of someone getting too into character?

[spaghettimonster]

I GUESS, BUT NOT SO HARD THAT THEY -EAT- PEOPLE.
MAYBE YOU COULD GET HER TO GET INTO A BETTER CHARACTER.

[nobunagastan]

That's part of the problem. There is no better character than Nobunaga Oda. So why is she trying to improve on perfection?

[spaghettimonster]

WOW, THE BEST? I MUST BE MISSING OUT.
BUT EVEN THE GREATEST OF CHARACTERS CAN BE IMPROVED UPON.
SUCH AS BY, AND I CANNOT STATE THIS ENOUGH, NOT EATING PEOPLE.
DO YOU THINK SHE'D BE WON OVER IF WE WROTE A NEW NOBUNAGA ODA STORY... WHERE THERE'S NO CANNIBALISM??

[nobunagastan]

You are! Anyone and everyone who hasn't met my sister is missing out. She's so cool she used to drink out of a human skull.

[spaghettimonster]

I. WHAT?
DON'T HUMANS... KEEP BLOOD IN THEIR SKULLS?
ARE YOU SURE SHE DIDN'T -ALREADY- HAVE A TASTE FOR HUMAN BLOOD???

[nemuru]

whats she cosplaying
vampire id guess from ur blood comment ?

[nobunagastan]

Is demon king an option?

[nemuru]

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that kinda thing huh
tell her chuunis arent cute even if theyre girls

[nobunagastan]

I can try that! I think she cares more about being able to shoot a man at 50 paces than being cute but... you never know!

[nemuru]

youd b surprised
girls are e z
actually ig luciferchans the same way but gets embarrassed if u say shes cute despite the chuuni thing
try that instead

un: Caster | voice

[futhark]

[ Aaand here's the brother ]

Wait, what? Did you get bitten? [ Congrats for becoming a chew toy? ] Perhaps that's a hint she doesn't want to bond with you?

[ That's an awful thing to say, but here he goes ]

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[nobunagastan]

I haven't been bitten... yet! But what if she does try to eat me before I can cement our bond as brother and sister!

[What then indeed.]

switches to text too

[futhark]

You mentioned her getting a taste for human blood, so it means she did bite someone. [ r i p ] If she tries to eat you... I'd take it as a "no" and politely accept the answer.

Real talk, though? You guys might want to stop by the Coven. They got ways to deal with this stuff.

Re: switches to text too

[nobunagastan]

Aaaaah...

I can't confirm or deny that that's happened, but she hasn't bitten anyone![Wait, isn't that a contradiction? Well, it's not like he can 'unsend.']

Do you think they'll be understanding?

[futhark]

They might scold you for a while— after they save your asses— who knows?

Honestly, I'd take the scolding. Not to mention miss Nessie has nothing to compare with scolding my mentor gave me.

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[showsnopiety]

When in doubt, use a mouth guard.

Leather should do.

[nobunagastan]

That's a great idea! How could I get her to wear one?

[showsnopiety]

Make it into a bet. Tell her you bet she can't wear this for a long duration and that you'll give her something if she does.

First priority bathroom privilege in the morning or something similar. Something that it won't hurt to lose.

If she can't seem to handle it at first, taunt her.

[nobunagastan]

That might just work if I offer to do it with her... Whoever can wear it for the longest wins. Ehehe...

[showsnopiety]

Not a terrible idea. If you think it will work, then I wish you luck.

[reborningreen]

Maybe going to the coven ans asking them and their experts would be a good idea?

[nobunagastan]

[There it is. The answer he didn't want to hear. Or read.]

How would I explain that I kind of ignored them for two months?

[reborningreen]

You are new, and were unsure of what you should do, of what things mean here. And you were not sure if it meant anything.

And now that you are m ore afraid for her than of asking, you come to them and you hope they will help.

[nobunagastan]

I get it! If I'm totally pathetic, then they can't be angry! That's so clever.

[reborningreen]

Er, I was mostly going with logic, but whatever works for you.

[sullenstallion]

just let her eat you

[nobunagastan]

But what if she eats me feet first?

[sullenstallion]

dont be gross

no one would ever start with the feet

[loadme]

Isn't cosplay something that just happens? I didn't think it was a gradual change...

[nobunagastan]

It starts with elf ears, then teeth caps, and before you know it someone you love is growling in public.

[loadme]

G-Growling? That's a little...

We're still talking about cosplay, right?