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September 11th, 2020

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LONELY BOND CLUB AD (video | un: albhed)

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Name: Rikku (un: albhed)
Date: 9/11
Format: Video


[A young, blonde teenager can be seen on the screen. She's dressed up--the better to impress people--and gives a smile and a wave before she starts in with her spiel.]

Hi everyone! I'm Rikku, and I've been here for a couple of months now. I'm a witch, which is taking some getting used to, but that's not the point of this post.

The other witches say that I'll explode if I don't find someone, and people I know have confirmed it. I really don't want that to happen, you know? It sounds painful and awful, and other people could get hurt too.

Sooooo... are there any monsters out there looking for a bondmate? Or anyone out there with advice on how to find a good one?

I promise I'll be a good bondmate! I'm loyal and friendly and I'll even help you out with things! I'm good with my hands and can help you build or fix whatever you have around the house. I can kind of cook. I'm good with kids. I can braid your hair if you're into that kind of thing.


[She pauses, scratching her chin as she thinks of other selling points and comes up with nothing.]

Um, if you have any questions or want to verify anything I just said, you can always ask my housemates Lighting and Karin and Ann. They're really nice and will be honest with you.

[Nailed it. Hopefully this works!]