aefenglom | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Name: un: errantry
Date: Feb. 11th
Format: Text

I honestly haven't been using this blasted watch as much as perhaps I should have. It just never seemed important.

But I have received some advice from someone and I suppose I am now putting it into practice, despite my trepidation.

My bonded left or vanished early last month. Or the month before; I can't quite remember. I managed the last full moon well enough, but I know from experience that it's just going to get worse or at least more difficult. And more to the point, I'm feeling horrendously lonely as of late.

So I'm looking for friends and companions, I suppose, with the potential to eventually form a bond. Not the most romantic thing I've ever done, but this place isn't all that romantic to begin with, is it?

Still not used to this whole "mortal" thing, though.

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[ Iramaat doesn't enjoy being pitied, but for the moment she doesn't much care. She takes the seat with a grateful nod. She's refused to use a cane, simply because of her pride, but she might want to think about it at some point. ]

Iramaat, at your service.

[ Her smile falters a little. ]

Yes... well. That's just my luck, isn't it? To go through it all alone...

[ He takes his eyes off of her; they fall to his lap, the bottle cradled in his laced, rough-scaled fingers. The past months seep in, make him feel numb. The past year of footing it mostly alone. Nobody to stop by to visit him in the infirmary... not that he knew of, being conked out most of the time. For all he knows, the Exarch might have. He'd been so worried, hauling him out of the depths of that place. But even with people like that entering his miserable life, he can't seem to escape feeling achingly, helplessly alone. Inconsolable. It's not a kind of loneliness just anyone can fill. Even being Bonded to Yako hadn't quite reached the icy depths his heart has plunged. But she had been nice.

Still... This world picks the worst times to sever Bonds, doesn't it? ]

That's just how it is sometimes. [ He hands her the potion. ] But this should make it a little easier in the meantime. Who were you Bonded to?

[ She notes the hesitation and the glance he gives his lap. There's more of a story here, but one she doesn't know and can't quite put her finger on. She purses her lips and then leans over to give him a bump with her shoulder as she accepts the potion. ]

Her name was Nel. And she was grumpy and withdrawn, but I liked her.

[ That sounds oddly familiar. ]

She cared, in her own way. And I'm sad that she's just... gone. [ She frowns. ]

I pledged myself to her and that means something to me. I keep my oaths.

[ The well-meaning bump makes him bristle a bit and glance her way, but as far as physical gestures go, that is perhaps the least invasive. And now she's taking an emotional turn. He's really not well-equipped for consoling people, often inadvertently offending them in the few instances he attempts, and he's aware of this flaw. But asking about her Bonded in his curiosity invited this sort of response, didn't it? He listens, uncomfortable in this role, still not meeting her eyes. His voice stays quiet and level, appropriately sober. ]

I can see why you're upset. Nel... I never crossed paths with her knowingly. Is she someone you knew prior to your tenure in Aefenglom?

No, actually. We met here. I... enjoyed her.

[ Iramaat sighs and tucks the potion away, leaning forward to brace her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. ]

I miss her. I never knew what it was to really miss someone - to have what you wanted and then lose it. I don't much like it.

[ He relates strongly to that notion. The only difference is that he'd never grown quite close enough to anyone in Aefenglom to feel like a part of him had gone missing when they left... save for the tangible effects of the Bond's annulment throbbing in his chest. What fondness he did develop for Yako in the short time they had. But he knows he will be able to get over losing her in no time. Especially once he seals a Bond with someone else.

It's having been wrenched from a world that was about to become perfect just because he was reassured that he could continue to follow the one person he had ever truly opened up to, his only friend, all the way up until one of their hearts stopped beating. He'd been so content then, so secure. After he became trapped on the other side of the mirror... So much for that. Her words settle over him thickly. To have, then to lose. Sober slides into a touch mournful. ]

I don't like it either. To have someone who makes your world right taken away from you. Everything feels wrong after that.

[ Maybe Iramaat can sense a little of the kinship there. She tilts her head toward Soren with a nod. ]

You understand.

[ Not a question; a statement of fact. ]

And for that, I thank you. [ She shoots him a smile that's maybe a little more wan than she'd like, but she's lost so much of her ability to just laugh and continue on. It's frustrating. ]

I'd like to speak with you more, if you ever feel up to it. Now or in the future.

[ Her grin catches the corner of his vision and he regards it with a look, but returns none of his own. However cold and unmoved he remains on the surface, a spark lives in his eye. Whatever mood they created together with their brief conversation, he can feel it shift between them, too. He believes in the sincerity of it, her acknowledgment that he understands her at the heart of the matter, feel how it moved her inner life closer to his, but doubts that she can understand him in the same measure. ]

...There is nothing to thank. I just do. [ another pause. ] What is it you hope to speak with me about?

Whatever comes to mind. Just... life in the city. How you've adjusted. I realize that you might not be sociable, but... well. If you'd rather not, I'll understand.

[ She's trying to make a friend. Or an acquaintance. ]

[ And Soren is one of the worst people to go to for that. However, he is putting forth a little more effort than he's used to trying to make connections these days. The fact that he's here speaking with her right now is a testament to that. The dragon's discomfort makes itself apparent in subtle ways, the way he takes his eyes away again, the twitch of his lips, his claw curling on his lap. ]

I've never been good at talking for the sake of talking. You are likely to be disappointed by the quality of companionship I can provide, if you're seeking to ease your loneliness through me.

Everyone needs someone. No matter who we are.

[ She shrugs. ]

I understand, though. So I'll stop asking - at least for now.

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