aefenglom | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Name: un: PXW
Date: Feb 13
Format: Text

[Anyway.]

WANTED-- Lodging in a respectable rooming or boarding house, with a strong desire for the latter. The following accommodations must be met: No animals kept indoors; No children; No fellow tenants who might be susceptible to the vices of liquor, betting, or marriage. The room must be clean, quiet, private, and immediately available. A locking door is most preferable.

Prospective tenant is an educated man of science accustomed to long hours, with little taste for parlor games.

Make your reply here. References to be waived for the sake of expediency and convenience ONLY, and may be requested upon inspection of the premises.

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....Not what I asked, but okay.

[A shrug- but then he's moving the watch and zooming onto what looks to be some sort of canine.... Except clearly made of plants. Its leaves rustle and bristle as it pants(?) happily, the fronds of its tail waving back and forth.]

So anyway, does this count as an animal to you, or no?

Is it capable of basic arithmetic?

I dunno. Haven't asked.

[The camera pans over to another animal! An albino shiba inu wearing a doofy vest.]

That one can, though. Hey Koro, what's one plus two?

[Tail wagging excitedly, Koromaru arfs! Three times!]

He can win a knife fight, too.

Charming.

[Look he knows that is sarcastic but Koromaru is a Great and Amazing Dog, so Shinji will nod and call out:]

Hey, Koro-chan, he said you're charming.

[Anyway, the video finally returns to Shinjiro himself, still looking amused.]

Guess the math don't win him over for you. So you camping out on the street tonight? Doesn't seem like you got anyone who wants to be your mom here.

Yes, yes. We are all delighted by your truly anemic wit. But rest assured that your perception of the situation is of no relevance to me.

[A faint furrowing of his eyebrows, but he shrugs.]

Nothin' witty about it. Even if you got no place and no takers, you still gotta sleep somewhere. And if it's gotta be outside, I thought I could give you some pointers. I lived out on the streets a few years back home.

I do not require nor desire your assistance.

[Still unimpressed, he waves a hand as though to dismiss that remark.]

Yeah, you say that, but you also made a whole post here asking people for help. Don't be an asshole 'cause you don't like the answers.

[A beat, and then--]

Or is it 'cause the dog's better than me at math?

You are mistaken entirely. I am not asking for help; I am requesting the letting of a room. If you do not have one or if it does not fit my noted requirements, there was, has been and continues to be no obligation to reply.

Sounds like different words for the same thing. Requesting, asking, either way you need someone to do something for you.

Which you are evidently not qualified for, and so none of this pertains to you whatsoever.

Maybe. But then again, only one of us here has a nice five bedroom place with new furniture.

[Because his bondmate set all his old furniture on fire in the yard but whos counting.]

I am done with having my time wasted. Good day.

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