1. the memeing

[hamletism]

Name: kyun
Date: june 1st
Format: text

[ ok so, he's been tweaking with this watch thing for a while, and what's cool is that it seems to take voice commands, and... you know what that means. it means it's time to mass text everyone something stupid, because what else's a guy to do? he's blind and stuck in one spot and BORED out of his mind, so cut him some slack. ]

test

test

ohmg does it really text like. EVERYONE

hey look at this i made it with just voice commands does it look good?

[ IMAGE ATTACHMENT ]

relatable right

anyway anyone know where the nearest seven eleven is

Comments

PLEASE SHUT UP

[cult]

?
ddi you tfw kidnapped lol him

NEVER

[hamletism]

maybe
what r u gonna lol do about it lol

I AM.. SICK

[cult]

i dnt understand
wat yuo are saying!!!
wh?at is youR P?OBLEM!!!

[hamletism]

bro ima need u to type normal coz
the text to speech thing is freaking out reading ur shit
what is UR problem man

[cult]

?
bap bap bapp
im cofnfuddles
kwee >.<
::
.
:
hel?p
how doodoo ttxt to voice

( teach him how!! to talk to turn to text!!! TEACH HIM. )

[hamletism]

[ oh god what the fuck THIS GUY'S GONNA BREAK HIS TTS :/ ]

holy shit
are u blind too?
just say 'speech to text' into the watch and it should convert your messages
pls do it too i can't fuckin talk like this

[cult]

( this is so confusing but wei wuxian does as told, speaking into the item and he just wants to make sure that it works so test test.. )

you're kinda ugly

( wow.. amazing? his eyes light up at how easy that actually was. why didn't kyun tell him this earlier? )

ah, thank you, thank you!
this is much more easier, i've never seen anything like it.
unless.. you are the watch? are you trapped inside?
is the cat inside? T F W kidnapped lol?

[hamletism]

did you just call a watch ugly?

[ ... well, whatever works. if he's calling kyun ugly that doesn't really matter cause HE CAN'T SEE HIM! ]

wym
this is like
super backwards ass technology
something rly outdated if we're being real
and u haven't seen this before? did you live under a rock?
god
wait till they invent tv
your mind's gonna be blown

[cult]

i've called no one ugly?
i was testing to see if it worked!
it's neat, it's far more advanced? like how i used swords to fly around!
i can stand in one place and talk to you

( this is so oddly creative, he's curious and wants to try tinkering around with it but he doesn't want to lose communication with the other. so he'll wait. )

no? do i look like a goblin to you
they live under rocks and bridges.
what's? tveveveve
Teevvvv
if my mind is going to explode.. i don't wanna know what a tveveve is

[hamletism]

actually, you can talk to me even while flying on a sword
not that i think its possible but
technology is amazing huh

[ DON'T DESTROY THE WATCH U LIL!! RAT!! ]

i mean, idk what you look like
you might be a gremlin for all i know
tv. tee-vee.
its a screen that projects images
amazing huh

[cult]

oh its possible!
i've done it before! maybe one day i'll take you tilde

( stop, what is he suppose to do? he's trying to figure out how it works.. marmot :/ )

i like to think im pretty good looking
you should show me yourself!
are you a cute sister?
teeeeee veeee
isnt that just memories? you watch memories?

[hamletism]

if u say so
but didnt we all lose our powers when we came here anyway

[ figure it out faster worm :/ ]

i could but that kills the element of surprise
when you see me you'll be amazed
i mean
u can
just made by other people
that sounds confusing but trust me its pretty great
slime videos are amazing im gonna miss them here

[cult]

yes but we can learn how to use our abilities to duplicate!!
now all you have to do is get a sword :)

( keep calling me names and i'll put my top on the watch. )

why will i be amazed in seeing you
unless
Gasps
youre a talking inventory item!
i want to see what a tv is like, will you bring one?
what are slime videos
?

[hamletism]

cool lemme just pull one out of my ass

[ wow i'm so scared... not :/ ]

coz you seem to believe i'm stuck in the watch
which would be pretty cool i guess
unfortunately im free to roam though
i doubt they have tvs here and even if they did theyre useless to me
oh man
ud love that shit
its so satisfying?

[cult]

is that where you store your swords
how unsanitary
is the stink for power

( who is wei wuxian to speak, he use to live in a cave with saved souls and zombies and probably didn't bathe. )

do you have a location to prove that you arent?
ah! yes, i could send lil apple to get u
he's cute, his black eyes and light skin youd love him
then we can meet face to face
but you're here, tv, you seem so wise about your own kind
how do you satisfy a slime, teach me more of your
odd customs
double dot o
:o

[hamletism]

[ this is why his poop comes out along with the egg... smh ]

i just have a separate dimension pocket in my asshole
its like reaching into a different galaxy
u can smell the stardust

[ -_- ]

is lil apple like
your horse or something? or a pet? how is he supposed to get me?
and anyway, why would i wanna meet u
ur a stranger on the sort-of-internet
kyaaa scary

well
u knead it
u know how to knead things?

[cult]

( STOP WHY IS THAT BURNT INTO YOUR MEMORY when will you make poop clip arts )

oh..
you are truly an interesting creature
what type of breed are you?

no, li'l apple isn't a horse double dot slash
oh :/
he's someone who means a lot to me
dont disrespect him!
just tell me where are you and he can come get you
hes really good at that
his eyes are so beautiful!
why wouldn't you want to meet me?
i'm pretty

i've kneaded my way to a girl's heart?
is it the same