1. the memeing

[hamletism]

Name: kyun
Date: june 1st
Format: text

[ ok so, he's been tweaking with this watch thing for a while, and what's cool is that it seems to take voice commands, and... you know what that means. it means it's time to mass text everyone something stupid, because what else's a guy to do? he's blind and stuck in one spot and BORED out of his mind, so cut him some slack. ]

test

test

ohmg does it really text like. EVERYONE

hey look at this i made it with just voice commands does it look good?

[ IMAGE ATTACHMENT ]

relatable right

anyway anyone know where the nearest seven eleven is

Comments

text;

[holybeasts]

its a cat?

[Thanks, Maria.]

PLEASE SHUT UP

[cult]

?
ddi you tfw kidnapped lol him

[hamletism]

well it's supposed to be one
but i specified that the image has to be the saddest cat it could locate
did it work?
does it look sad enough or should i find another?

NEVER

[hamletism]

maybe
what r u gonna lol do about it lol

[holybeasts]

it certainly does look very sad. ive never seen a cat cry like that though.

is it alright?

text

[plasticasshole]

What does "tfw" mean?

I AM.. SICK

[cult]

i dnt understand
wat yuo are saying!!!
wh?at is youR P?OBLEM!!!

i'm sorry

[hamletism]

[ IMAGE ATTACHMENT ]

[ this is too much power ]

[hamletism]

i cant tell u its not my cat but probably
people edit cat faces 2 look like they r crying a lot but they dont actually cry like tht dw

[hamletism]

bro ima need u to type normal coz
the text to speech thing is freaking out reading ur shit
what is UR problem man

[holybeasts]

oh thank goodness!

thats amazing though. youre very good at using this device if you can do all that!

[hamletism]

heh
well
where i come from this shits normal so everyones got it
this is like, backwards ass version of the modern phones tbh it doesnt have a lot of options
but as long as it can listen to voice commands im gucci

oh here i found u a happy one

[ IMG ATTACHMENT. ]

[plasticasshole]

That feel when? I'm not sure I understand.

What does "lol" mean?

[He's going to slowly piece this together..!]

[hamletism]

its like
that feel u feel when something happens
how do u feel rn
confused right
so thats ur feel when i speak

also lol means laughing out loud
its just something to say instead of typing lame shit like haha

[ linguistics 101... ]

text

[vytal]

[ i mean, ]

LOL
SUPER relatable! Keep 'em coming!

[despised]

hw
ewhey
are yuo the cat

[hamletism]

[ GOD finally someone who understands the lingo... he started to lose hope? ]

[ IMAGE ATTACHMENT. ]

yr like
the first one
wild

[hamletism]

[ why do these people all make so many typos... the tts is freaking out!! ]

yes im the cat
meow meow motherfucker

[plasticasshole]

Oh, I see. It's a joke.

[He wishes his Social Relations program came with the ability to understand memes. But he's sure he can learn quite easily now, if given the chance.]

Do you have more? I like jokes.

[wylderrant]

That cat's name is "tfw"? Not very imaginative.

[vytal]

Seriously. It's like these people haven't touched the internet a day in their lives.

[ that's literally it yang but ok ]

[hamletism]

yea man
u never heard any of these before? wild

uhh sure
what kinda jokes
u want more abbreviation lessons? some deep fried memes?

[hamletism]

u got a better idea?

[hamletism]

right?
i know this places like
old and whatever
but i thought everyone came from the same time at least
but its just all these weirdos who lived under a rock and probably contracted bubonic plague

[cult]

?
bap bap bapp
im cofnfuddles
kwee >.<
::
.
:
hel?p
how doodoo ttxt to voice

( teach him how!! to talk to turn to text!!! TEACH HIM. )