aefenglom | someone get him a furminator

Entry tags:

someone get him a furminator

Name: Niles
Date: 6/13
Format: Video

[The clip opens with a shot of Niles' chest. It might seem intentional, given how the deep cut v neck of his shirt shows off his chest, but after the picture rotates and tilts awkwardly a few times it becomes pretty clear he's just not entirely familiar with how cameras work. When his face finally is visible and the picture steadies he's frowning, annoyance obvious in the slant of his mouth and his squinting eyes.]

A question to all those who are gaining new parts and features, how do you keep them clean?

[The camera shakes and rotates some more as Niles turns his device to point down at a long, incredibly fluffy, beautifully patterned tail. It's not filthy, but the white shows flecks of dirt caught in it and there's a few small mats starting to form, particularly on the underside near the end. It flicks and twitches a few times before Niles moves the camera back up to his face.]

I've tried combing it like my regular hair- [Which looks clean, shiny, and overall well groomed.] -but the fur is so dense it hardly does anything, and it picks up dirt and grime so easily. I'm used to having a dirty reputation, but I pride myself on keeping that to the figurative sense only.

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Huh. Maybe they make brushes specifically for that kind of fur?

[Niles is tired of holding this thing, so he sets it on the table, pointed at him sitting on a tool, tail swishing back and forth in short aggravated flicks.]

Any idea what one would look like? A horse brush doesn't seem like it would do much good either. And where do I get one?

A comb with two different lengths for the teeth, to get to the undercoat. I've been working at Pile's Petagorium - it's an animal shelter - so I've seen a few there. I can find out where they get supplies.

[Ah! Finally something specific and helpful. His posture relaxes at the prospect of actually getting something done about this.]

Thank you, I'd appreciate that. When do you work there next? I'll come by and you can show me what I need.

[ She knows that feel, and offers him a smile. ]

This afternoon, if you're free. Otherwise I'll be there tomorrow, too.

Tomorrow. See you then.

[He's made...another arrangement for this evening.]

[Again!

It's unfair. It's so unfair. All of his life, Konoe's had a stupid, crooked tail. Now that he's here, even people without tails are growing the most glorious tails Konoe's ever seen - yet Konoe is still stuck with his own trashy one! How does that even make any sense!? (Well, he's a witch, for one. So that's one very obvious reason for it, if you want to get logical.)

Still, that's not this person's fault, and a good tail deserves proper care.]

You just need to groom it. Morning and night.

[Ah, maybe that's not specific enough...]

With your tongue.

[Yeah he's not going to do that. He's seen cats retch up disgusting wads of hair and he has no desire to experience that first hand. But hes not going to turn down such a wonderful opportunity to be inappropriate. Before he sends his reply he shifts himself around on the stool a bit. He tucks his tail between his legs, but then crosses them. The end result is his tail emerging suggestively from his crotch before draping over the side of the top leg. It's fairly uncomfortable honestly, but the lewd implications are worth it.]

While I'm quite skilled with my mouth generally, I can't say that's something I've ever practiced before. How about you come show me how it's done?

[Here's hoping this man isn't as naive as the last person he'd tried to harass on here.]

[Unfortunately, Konoe isn't that knowledgeable on mating, let alone its many variations. Fortunately(?), he has a pretty good idea of when people are messing with him, even if he doesn't get all the details, and he doesn't appreciate that.]

Then it's about time you start practicing.

And don't sit on your tail like that. It hurts just to watch.

[With a small resigned hmph Niles untangles his tail and legs. He was right after all, that was getting more uncomfortable by the minute.]

Still, I doubt my tongue will do my tail any good. Nothing about it has changed, so all it'll accomplish is wetting the whole thing down with spit.

If that's all that happens, you're just not doing it right.

[Seriously, Konoe is pretty sure his tongue isn't that different from other people's... probably. And his works just fine!

He gives a low, prolonged groan, pondering his options. Does he really need to give grooming lessons, after all? It's none of his business, so he should really let this guy find his own way, but... that's also a waste of a beautiful tail...]

If you really want me to show you... I will. But you'd better do everything I say.

[Konoe isn't going to this guy's place just to have all his advice ignored!]

Ooh, taking charge? I like that in a man.

[Mostly he doesn't actually, but apparently with this crowd he has to lay it on thick or they just don't get it.]

So, my place or yours?

[... Well, at least he's acknowledging that Konoe is a full-grown man? Could be worse. Even if that doesn't quite keep Konoe from attempting a glare.]

Yours.

[He's not inviting strangers into his house! Clearly going to strangers' places is... much safer.......

Regardless, if Niles gives him the address, Konoe will go there soon enough. He'll still take a little while because ~~he gets lost all the time~~ of reasons, but he'll head out immediately, anyway.]

I'll be waiting with baited breath.

[He shares his address and spends a minute getting ready. He stashes his bow and quiver out of sight, but makes sure the knives strapped to his hips are secure and well hidden under his shirt. Just in case. By the time Konoe arrives Niles is waiting, lounging on his bed, reading a book.

If he knocks, Niles replies with it's open, not wanting to get up and ruin his suggestive reclining posture.]

[In spite of his determination to do this, Konoe feels oddly nervous as he knocks on Niles' door. He's not even sure why; it's not like he's worried that something bad will happen, because he absolutely has that under control^{citation needed}, but -...
But what, exactly? He's not intimidated by that rude tail-sitter, but maybe he's a little intimidated by that beautiful tail..?

Regardless, he's not going to let that stop him. When he gets permission, he enters - and wow, is that ever a sight. Does Konoe find it sexy? No, not really - "sexy" isn't a thing he feels, much, or at least not something he ever identifies as feeling - but there's still something about a guy like that, with a tail like that, all sprawled out on a bed.]

... I'm here.

[Yeah, he's just. Going to announce his arrival. In case there was any doubt.

Thank you, Cat-Pain Obvious.]

[Niles catches Konoe's eyes go directly to his tail. He gives it a long, slow flick. A wave that ripples from base to tip. He's trying to be obnoxious and/or seductive, but it probably would be more effective at the latter if his fur was in better condition.]

Welcome. My name is Niles.

[The room itself is pretty sparse. Neither he or his roommate are big on decor. There's a desk, a chair, a bookshelf with only a few volumes in it so far. There's a tome on magic theory, a history of the city, a book titled Turnskins and their Tricks. He puts aside the one he's reading, leaving it resting on his pillow. It's much smaller than the ones still on the shelf, and if Konoe is quick enough to catch a glimpse of the cover he'll see it's actually a collection of short stories for children. He finally sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, but stays seated.]

So how long have you had all that?

[He points vaguely at Konoe's ears, then down towards his tail, his gaze lingering in all the most inappropriate places. He'd only had his own tail for a week or so. He certainly sounded confident on the network but that could easily be overcompensation. If he's just as green as Niles, then there's not much point in taking his advice.]

[Even with the tail in a borderline shameful condition, Konoe can't help but be impressed. It's so much better than his own tail, with its stupid crooked tip: thicker, more powerful... The pattern is really nice, too.

Somehow, a tail like that is a presence Konoe can't deny, even if he doesn't want to let it intimidate him.]

I'm Konoe...

[What is he even getting vaguely nervous for?! Were Niles to act like a dick ~~again~~, it would be so easy for Konoe to man up, lash out, and ignore everything else. As it is, though? It feels like goosebumps running up his spine, just being in the same room.

He has to stop it: he hates feeling this way. Taking a deep breath, he forces his ears up again, straightening the rest of himself along with them.]

I've had them since I was born. [The emphasis may not be as big as he wanted to make it, but it's there all the same.] Everyone's like this, where I'm from.

[Well, you know... more or less. There were bigger species of cats, and almost every cat had a better tail than Konoe, but... close enough!

He walks over to the bed, to get a better look at the pitiful state of Niles' tail.]

[Niles' sleazy smile loses some of its sharp edge, becoming far more genuine for a moment or two. He glances over Konoe's features again. That puts the little kink in his tail in context. It was probably an old injury. He'd been considering making more dick jokes about their relative sizes, but for now he'll hold off. Insecurity around a scar is something he can sympathize with. He's lucky enough to be able to cover his up with an eye patch, and unlike a nose a tail probably can't be fixed by re-breaking it and setting it properly.]

Ah, so you're a real expert.

[That doesn't mean he was done teasing however. Niles stands, turns, and bends over, putting his hands on the bed. Again the pose is mock-seductive, but unlike someone born with a tail he clearly doesn't know how to use it to emphasize his point. Instead of being raised it hangs down nearly straight, tip twitching with something almost like nerves. It's less to do with Konoe himself and more to do with the chronic stress of being ripped from his world. Still, each new person he meets is someone he has to analyse, judge, study, and evaluate as a potential threat, mark, or ally. By month two it's gotten a little exhausting for him, being constantly on something like high alert.]

Go ahead, take a good look.

Edited 2019-06-26 13:36 (UTC)

[Konoe has genuinely wanted to break his tail and hope it would heal up straight... but tails are so sensitive. If he was absolutely sure it would work, he'd consider it; as it is, he just suffers his silly insecurity in silence. Most of the time. When he isn't awkwardly whining about it...]

...

[That pose is ridiculous. Konoe would comment on it, too, except... that is not a proud, confident tail, no matter how convincing the rest of Niles' behavior is. It makes Konoe belatedly try to keep from verbally lashing out, even if he can't imagine what someone like Niles might have to be nervous about.]

... Just sit and relax. I said I'd show you how, didn't I?

[Niles hesitates wanting to get a more scandalized reaction than that, but after a moment complies with a small huff. He sits on the bed again, arms crossed and his tail draped across his lap in a long loop.]

Alright. Now what?

[Well... that sure is a question. As confident as Konoe had been, being called out like this almost makes him hesitate all over again.

But he started this, so he will finish it. He sits a little further down on the bed, kicking off his boots and pulling up his legs.]

I guess... just do what I do?

[That's fine, right? That definitely can't hurt. Konoe is just going to do his normal grooming, and Niles can follow after. Even if the bed isn't huge, cats are flexible: they should both be able to do their thing on the bed easily enough.]

[Niles pulls a face when Konoe's demonstration is just very straightforward 'lick it'. He doesn't want his tongue touching all that hair and dirt. But well...he did say he'd follow instructions.

He grabs his tail in one hand, brings the end up to his mouth and...licks. This feels stupid and now he has hair on his tongue.]

Agck!

[Konoe stares at Niles, expression thoroughly unimpressed - which makes for a weird combination with his own tongue still poking out a bit. It feels like a stupidly exaggerated reaction to licking your own tail, but he can at least acknowledge that he may be underestimating how hard things can be without practice. He's been doing this practically all his life, after all...]

It's just a little hair.

Keep going.

[Just a little- just a little hair?! Any amount of hair in his mouth is too much hair. He's starting to regret following up on this when he had a perfectly sensible plan to go get a proper brush tomorrow. But no, he can see this through. He's had far more disgusting things in his mouth before.

He glares for a second, first at Konoe, then at his tail. Then he dives back in, this time doing his best faux blowjob sensual lick up the side of it while making full eye contact with his tutor.

Ugh. Ick. Bleh. He does his best to keep a straight face while subduing the urge to spit and immediately start picking the fur off his tongue.]

[Reluctantly, Konoe interrupts his own grooming again, having barely started back up.]

... What even is that look for?

[No, really, Konoe doesn't get it. It looks vaguely constipated. It couldn't be that poor grooming gets all the fur blocking your intestines, could it?

That's... probably not true, but there's always a chance, and honestly? Konoe is running out of patience. Which he has absolutely no right to, since he volunteered for this, but whatever.]

Fine, I'll do it already. Just this once, okay?!

[If he comes off especially irritable, it's really not just because he's going to do Niles' job for him: it's also because the tail is a very sensitive part of a cat, and touching it feels like crossing a line, even if he can't not do it.]

It's for- it's. [Explaining the innuendo just ruins it for him. He might as well give up with this guy if he's really this dense. He trails off, looks away with a glare, and then lets go of his tail. He flicks it up in a wide arc, smacking Konoe in the face with the fluffy (and now slightly wet with saliva) appendage.]

It's nothing. Go ahead then.

[One arm crossed across his chest, everything about his posture and expression says 'sulking'. His free hand starts picking fur out of his mouth.]

Ow - careful!

[Swatting at Niles' tail, Konoe grabs it in the same motion, rather more firmly than he normally would a tail. They're sensitive things for a cat, and even if he doesn't know what it's like for a presumable human-monster-cat, he'd rather err on the side of caution.

But not when said human-monster-cat is being a sulky baby in spite of being given such a beautiful tail for no reason at all. Konoe shamelessly applies enough pressure to keep that tail where it is, even if he doesn't set out to hurt Niles as such.

... Well, there he goes, then. It's honestly kind of weird, doing this for someone else: it's not wrong, but it suggests an intimate relationship, whether familial or sexual, that Konoe doesn't have with this man... or with anyone else, for that matter. He's fine with living (mostly) by himself - which he's been doing a lot less since coming here, but that's an insignificant detail. It's only when doing something like this, confronted with what's normal for a lot of people but what Konoe doesn't have, that suddenly he feels vaguely embarrassed about it.

That's ridiculous, though. Besides, he is the one with the expertise, here! He came over to get this guy groomed if not grooming, and he'll do that if it's the last thing he does. His own tail giving a single nervous flick, Konoe goes to work, firmly licking that magnificent tail.]

[He lets an exasperated breath out his nose with a subdued sort of huff, but otherwise doesn't react to the manhandling. His tail has a lot more padding after all. His tail gives a few minor involuntary twitches that are easily suppressed by Konoe's hold, but as his tail is groomed they stop.

The sensation is oddly calming, now that he's not having to deal with the discomfort of a mouthful of fur, and despite himself he starts feeling relaxed. Idly he considers Konoe, his face wearing a neutral, almost pensive look. The man was fairly handsome. The soft, expressive ears, his build, his his eyes. His tongue glide over Niles' fur, open mouth revealing just a hint of tantalizingly dangerous sharpened teeth. A few more blowjob jokes float through his mind, but he dismisses them, knowing they both wouldn't land well. Besides, even if they would get a rise out of him they would just interrupt this surprisingly pleasant experience.

As Konoe moves up his tail though he knows that eventually he'll have to get all the way to the base. How far would he be willing to go, and how could Niles possibly resist making a rimming joke? It was a rare opportunity and well, by that point the grooming would be at an end anyway....]

[If the experience is relaxing for Niles, it's surprisingly relaxing for Konoe, too. Once he makes a little progress, it's easy to stop overthinking things, getting into the process almost as much as he gets into his own grooming. There are practical reasons for grooming, sure, but - whatever it's like for other cats - Konoe enjoys it because it calms him down, too.

Not that he would have expected that to work when grooming someone else, but you learn something new every day.

He steadily works his way up Niles' tail, his own utterly relaxed by now. A thick tail like this is about as much work as Konoe would have expected, but honestly? It's worth the effort of grooming it.]

[It dawns on Niles belatedly that someone is taking care of him. That he'd openly invited this complete stranger to take care of him, and they'd agreed. It'd happened because he still saw his tail as something other than himself. An accessory, or a garment even. But with the gentle, tugging, tactile, feedback of Konoe's tongue through his fur it's undeniably an extension of him, a part of his whole. The sudden awareness of his vulnerability threatens to trigger a swell of panic in him, but he fights it down. A single sharp twitch of his tail gives him away and he pulls it abruptly out of Konoe's grip.]

Just a moment, let me...re-position.

[And Niles stands, grabs the chair and straddles it, presenting his back to him, giving him better access to the full length of his tail. It may seem counter intuitive, but to Niles having the solid back of the chair covering his front, having his legs under him on solid ground, and putting himself between the door and Konoe feels more secure. He knows
from experience he can survive a stab to the back after all. He keeps his head turned, single eye still watching Konoe intently.]

[As he relaxed, Konoe stopped holding Niles' tail so tightly, or even holding it worth mentioning at all: by the time Niles decides to reposition, he's only supporting it, not really grabbing hold. It's still a surprise when it's yoinked free, leaving Konoe with his tongue awkwardly poking out... but if Niles wants to reposition, Niles wants to reposition. Maybe it's just because Konoe was so relaxed from grooming such a pretty tail, but he's not even offended at the interruption.

He's still not entirely sure he sees the point - he's a cat, after all: willingly assuming awkward positions is what he does - but he has no problem with it. As he stretches his back, his tail swings happily, and he resumes his work, licking ever higher up Niles' tail.]

[To joke or not to joke. To joke or not to joke. As Konoe approaches the base of his spine Niles turns the thought over in his mind. Once, twice, aaaand....to joke. Definitely to joke. When Konoe is basically done, Niles raises the base of his tail and arches his back. Niles crosses his arms over the back of the chair, head laying on them and gives Konoe a sly smile over his shoulder.]

Feel free to roam a little lower if you please.

[The work may technically be done, but Konoe is initially not ready to stop yet. It's nearly impossible to groom too much, and he's into it, so he sorta kinda halfway keeps going, even if he slows down considerably, to the point that he may as well stop.

And then Niles ruins a moment that shouldn't have existed anyway.]

...! You can lick that yourself!

[Konoe sits up immediately, more annoyed at how he let himself get into grooming someone else than annoyed at Niles' comment as such.]

Oh believe me, if I could I would.

[Niles is wearing a self satisfied, picture perfect, shit eating grin. There was the reaction he wanted. Indignant and offended, finally fully clued into Niles' particular vulgar brand. Now only time would tell if Konoe could tolerate him anyway.

He finds himself hoping that he will, which is counter to his entire method of 'make them prove they can handle you before wasting time on them', but he supposes that's his fault. He really shouldn't have let them have that...unexpectedly intimate moment without showing demonstrating how truly obnoxious he was. Though to his credit, not for lack of trying. His face relaxes, just a bit, into a genuine sort of smile.]

Sincerely, I thank you for your help. [And then abruptly his face regains its sharp and mocking edge.] If you find yourself craving something long and thick to get your mouth on, my door is always open.

I agree with the others that you probably need a more specialized brush.

And not only that, but you'll need to brush it pretty often too!

On a different note, it looks very cute!

i already have a detailed personal grooming routine, i don't mind expanding it

['Cute' throws him for a loop. He's been called that before, but not for a very long time, and in very different circumstances. He takes a moment to look over his tail once more, even petting it a bit.]

i suppose it is. has anything cute grown on you as well?

Ahaha, nothing like that. I think I ended up being a witch, so I'll be staying just the way I am!

I just have to worry about learning magic.

get ready to study. or, that's how it worked in my world anyway.

[He hadn't exactly been a mage, but Leo tutored him in a wide variety of subjects. He resented losing that skill on his arrival.]

I don't mind that so much. The way I see it, it's no different than studying for tests in high-school.

The real difference is that I'll probably have an actual use for what I learn here!

you wasted time at a school that taught you pointless things?

[Granted, Leo's history lessons had seemed useless initially, but the more he got involved in spying on the Nohrian court the more important understanding the origins of political tensions became.]

It's not really like I have any control over what they teach us!

I just happen to think that a lot of what they do teach doesn't really have practical use.

most animals hire groomers

are you offering your services?

 Sure.

I'm a handyman. I could do most things.

I'll find some clippers.

Won't get tangled if I shave it down.

[Okay, no not that. He's not going to run around with a bald rat tail.]

actually i'll pass. others are offering far better solutions

[Aw come on, he'll shave it down to like, short fuzzies at least.]

 Your tail, your choices, I guess.

Can't say I'd be too happy about dragging around a tail like that.

Seems inconvenient.

[Another factor is that Niles is from a time before electric razors. So to him shaving this all down would take way too long.]

i suppose. i've grown fond of it. it helps that most chairs here are designed to accommodate those of us with tails.

 Makes me wonder though

If you lived most of your life without one 

having one now

have you shut a door on it yet

or stood on it

[You can almost hear him chuckling.]

i'm not what you would call clumsy, so no.

but i'm looking forward to someone giving it a good yank.

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someone get him a furminator

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