＊ You're marrying your Bonded now. You're filled with determination.

[metalcrusher]

Name: Mettaton (un: METTATON)
Date: 09/06
Format: text

Hey there, beauties! Lend me your imaginations and INSPIRE me... By answering to my provocative scenario:

Wedding bells are ringing, and you're dressed to the nines. Surprise! You're in LOVE now... with none other than your Bonded*!!! ...And you're getting MARRIED!! What's more, this is going to be your DREAM WEDDING!!

Describe it to me: what does your ideal wedding day feature, with your Bonded betrothed??


*If you're un-Bonded, you thought of someone. You're marrying them now. Ha-ha.

Comments

un:ma voice

[stopfen]

[Mikasa wakes up, stares at her watch for a moment. Blinks. Flops back into her hospital bed. Still woozy.]

Didn't...they do that last month?

voice...

[metalcrusher]

MIKASA, DARLING. THERE YOU ARE! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A FEW DAYS...

[Huh! Wonder why that could be! (He and Mikasa often just cross paths, as it is. They encounter each other often.)]

ANYWAY. YES! THEY DID! BUT THOSE WERE A LOT OF BONDING CEREMONIES. AND DIET WEDDINGS. NOWHERE NEAR ON THE SCALE I'D LIKE TO IMAGINE. SOMETHING BIG. SOMETHING FLASHY! AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW MY IDEA OF A WEDDING... COMPARES TO THE REST OF THE MIRRORBOUND POPULATION.

SO. IF YOU GOT MARRIED... WHO WOULD IT BE?? DON'T BE SHY!

un: cherrypit

[polterguide]

[They didn't think of anyone, shut up, you can't prove anything.]

If a wedding doesn't have cake there's no point in it.

[metalcrusher]

[Oh, of course not... the phrase "thought of someone" at all would never in a lifetime dare to trigger such a romantic notion.

Yes, Mettaton is fully assuming that Bailey is thinking of someone.]

Focused on the basic indulgences. I like it! But why stop at a cake when you could have MULTIPLE cakes??

Speaking of multiple cakes. What's your favored flavor, darling?

un: connor

[plasticasshole]

I don't know much about how weddings are supposed to go... I've never been to one.

[And this is bringing up some confusing feelings, because so far Connor has tried his hardest not to fall in love with Hank. He fell in love before, twice now, and they both left.]

I guess... I've been told it's like Bonding? You say vows, anyway. Do you know what weddings are like?

[metalcrusher]

Of course I know what weddings are like. [Mettaton has never attended a wedding before.] Your understanding thus far is not incorrect, Connor-darling. But the ceremony, the reception... they're GRAND. Some humans sink thousands upon thousands of dollars into their special day! Outrageous, isn't it?

In your case, you would be marrying Hank. My my... How would that go? Even if you don't know much about weddings... would vows be your favored aspect?

[Leave it to Mettaton to just lay that out for Connor to read.]

text, un: filament

[omnicrafter]

Hah. Doesn't matter much in my case, I'll be lucky to even get far enough for a fleeting romance.

Is this to say you're entertaining the thought? I have a feeling you're aggregating ideas for a practical purpose...

[metalcrusher]

Don't be silly, beautiful. Besides! You're Bonded, aren't you???

[Mettaton has already decided who everyone is marrying, how clean, how perfect!]

There's a key word in my post. Inspire... Yes. I wonder. What a mystery. Who can say? What I'm entertaining?? I'm always entertaining SOMEthing. Hahaha...

text;

[unsundered]

[On seeing this post, Emet-Selch only stares at it. Can you feel the flatness of that stare, Mettaton. It is very flat.

It also comes as no particular surprise to read, considering how often they seemed to be circling the subject, a pair of vultures waiting to descend and devour the rotting corpse of marital bliss... which is a metaphor doesn't quite work, actually. Let's scrap it. In any case: Mettaton seeking ideas for the horror he intends to inflict upon him does not come as any shock.

But there is nothing that says the Ascian can't respond to this as well.]

Absolute silence.

No guests.

Might as well just fill out the paperwork and return home.

[metalcrusher]

[This is 100% the reception Mettaton anticipated out of Emet-Selch. Keep the metaphor, every sort of metaphor for this circling behavior could only lead with marriage being the corpse or the prey circled by a pack of wolves or vultures or hawks.

It's inevitability...

Either way, they both know. This is an exercise in agitating the issue. Another reminder.]

Paperwork... How are we so well-aligned? You should know. I ADORE paperwork. The thicker the stack, the more arduous, the better.

As for guests and silence... You already suggested that! Remember? Back when we talked about how many marriages we could pack into a single wedding day. Now, if it were a ceremony just between you and I, as you fantasize... aren't there any other features you'd covet?

un: PrincessAllura

[quintessent]

[Hmm. Thinking about marrying her bonded is way too much for her, but weddings. She can think about that.]

Well, Altean weddings are rather lengthy affairs. The ceremony itself takes several earth-hours, and the festivities go on for at least a full movement. It would, of course, be broadcast to most civilized corners of the universe.

[At least one person knows how to party.]

[metalcrusher]

[Don't even strike that out, THEY KNOW HOW TO PARTY, METTATON WANTS TO BROADCAST HIS MARRIAGE SO BADLY]

Oh, my. Fabulous! A long-lasting event, lively and full, one grand enough to extend out into other regions by broadcast...?! I love it!!! That's my kind of wedding. Too bad Aefenglom has no method of broadcast, besides radio... A shame. The beautiful attire can't be captured by that.

You have such a unique perspective of the world, Allura, darling. Given that you've met many kinds of people, as I recall. You must know what unique features different cultures might have, to their style of matrimonial union.

text: un: purrsuing

[izanyagi]

Are you getting married?

[metalcrusher]

Am I getting married. Oh my. What a daring question... considering I'm the one asking about YOUR fantasy marriage!!!

I do have a Bonded. Who I could marry.....

text: un; f*uckingusername

[fuckingpassw0rd]

Making damn sure to set up no licking rules so that Connor doesn't lick half the guests and/or the cake to 'analyze' it and check if it's below suggested sugar intake levels or some shit.

un: connor

[plasticasshole]

But you would marry me, is what you're saying?

voice; un: mshivana

[faithlikeaseed]

[There's a split second where Myr considers answering this seriously.

Nah.

That wouldn't be any fun.]

If it involves anything more'n jumping over a broom and sharing a set of calves' eyes it's too Orlesian to bear thinking about, [he drawls.

...Realistically, of course, there'd be a Springtide ceremony for Everett and L would rather die, so a good Hasmali alienage wedding splits the difference nicely.]

voice

[metalcrusher]

... ...

[There's a moment. One spared toward thinking about this. Processing this, trying to recognize the voice. Trying to figure out what any of this MEANS. Mettaton anticipated things from other cultures and worlds to be... new, unique, but this?

He clears his throat. He doesn't have a throat.]

OKAY. WHAT? PLEASE, INDULGE MY CURIOSITY, DARLING. WHAT SORT OF CUSTOMS ARE THESE? I'M... MORBIDLY FASCINATED, BY JUMPING BROOMS AND SHARING CALVES' EYES.

un: jaeger

[usurpers]

I don’t have one.

[metalcrusher]

What???? You're not Bonded?! Eren, what are you doing? Tell me it isn't so!!

un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

I'm not going to marry my bonded.

Although I am engaged at home, my ideal wedding there is one I don't have to plan.

You should have food, cake, an officiant.

[glitzandglamour]

You're engaged back home?? Really?? And you have to live without them here... How sad. But, yes. Being absolved the planning of it all could be a luxury in itself, especially if it went all according to your standard. I can see that.

If your fiancé/e showed up here, in Aefenglom... How would you conduct your wedding, darling? You could marry them twice!!

text | un: wangxian

[taciturnly]

My Bonded, smiling.

( which is exactly what he got, a month ago! )

[glitzandglamour]

Aww. What a sweet answer. You certainly don't want for much more than the most important part of it all, do you? Yes... I think any good couple would hope to see their Bonded in smiles. I hope they're not a difficult one to see cracking a grin.

[If he knew who this was by name, he might realize that Lan Wangji did, indeed, marry his Bonded! He spoke briefly to that upbeat Bonded of his, after all.]

If you could speak on behalf of your Bonded... What would you assume they would want out of your ceremony? Hypothetically, of course.

text; un: sylphid

[sylphid]

we escape the weird trap once the sedatives wear off. only explanation for why we're there.

[metalcrusher]

A riveting jaunt with your Bonded-fiancé/e... The tension of a daring escape's a surefire way to grow closer and closer... I can imagine it now. How romantic.

But I understand. Marriage is off limits. Are both of you so opposed?

text; (un: aragaki)

[hoboagogo]

i never got the point of weddings
its just some huge expensive show right? why even bother
so the ideal would be none i guess

[metalcrusher]

Not the showy sort. Yes, I can see that in you. Actually, "nothing" is the very same response as my own Bonded. You're not alone!

On the other hand, some of us like to be showy and expensive! Besides. There are all of the benefits to being married, such as sharing finances.

[Mettaton benefits from sharing finances. Some people like to be expensive...]

text | un: taru

[seemstressed]

A cheap deposit on the venue.

[metalcrusher]

Ever the savings-savvy lady. I love it! But for your dream wedding, would you be minding such a thing, darling?

[bloodwit]

My dream wedding be ... not having one.
I've been married and divorced once already, and once was enough.

[metalcrusher]

Tried and tired, is it? I see. That's unfortunate... Did you dislike your wedding, darling? Could nobody, not even your Bonded, change your heart?

voice;

[loadme]

M-Married?! Oh gosh, oh wow... I, um.

I haven't even thought about that, to be honest.

[You can't just put her on the spot like that.]

voice

[metalcrusher]

[This means it's DEFINITELY time to put her on the spot.]

AND NOW... YOU ARE! AND WHAT A THOUGHT TO HAVE. YOU AND YOUR BONDED, STANDING PRETTY TOGETHER AT THE ALTAR... HAND IN HAND. HEARTS BEATING AS ONE. WHAT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES!

AND NOW THAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT, SURELY YOU HAVE SOME DREAM IDEAS!!! WHAT COULD THEY BE??

text;

[curruid_coinchenn]

something very private with only those closest to us in attendance.

[metalcrusher]

My oh my. A fan of hosting an intimate affair. So your ideal wedding is closed off, private and unknown to the eyes of the people...

[Mettaton can't relate...]

You speak of your Bond as a unit, with a close-knit circle already. Could it be that you've found yourself lucky and truly in love, gorgeous??

voice; un: dunscaith

[scatmaam]

I somehow doubt my idea of a 'dream' wedding is the same as my bonded's. [ A small chuckle, humming for a moment. ]

Nor would it be at all possible. But I suppose you aren't interested in the obstacles, are you?

voice

[metalcrusher]

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, DARLING. AFTER ALL, I'M ASKING AFTER YOUR DREAM WEDDING! YOUR BONDED CAN CHIME IN IF THEY SO PLEASE.

SIMILARLY... I LIVE FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE AND THE DARING. THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE AMBITIONS OF ALL!!!

[Indeed, Mettaton sounds jazzed about Steep Demands. Almost like his ideal wedding would be full of them...]

un: ALPHYS

[textsfromhotland]

h

[when you post on accident]

[glitzandglamour]

Alphys-darling! Do I EVER have a few words to have with you...

Yes. I know who you're thinking about. Well??? What do you fantasize about??? Do you fancy her in a HANDSOME suit, one that emphasizes her figure?? Or do you dream of her in an elegant, flowing wedding gown, that similarly emphasizes her figure??

[Either Way, Imagine Undyne.]

text, un: itachiuchiha

[anbu]

Is that a common practice? I understand intimate involvement often occurs between Bonded individuals, but I haven't yet heard of marriage. Only comparisons to the Bonding ceremony itself.

[metalcrusher]

I would consider it a completely separate bonus arrangement, to an otherwise romantic Bond... As you know, Bonding isn't explicitly for romance. Even though it doesn't get any more intimate than the tying of souls!!!

But common? Who knows! I'd think anyone would want to Bond with their spouse... even if they wouldn't wish to marry their Bond.

Comparable to marriage as it is... Did someone spring to mind, darling? A Bonded partner, perhaps?