@GOSUCKADUCK; text

[substances]

Name: Klaus Hargreeves
Date: Ieneuer 4
Format: text
NOTE: Blanket content warning for mild discussion of drug use in the comments.

single 30ish male witch seeking strapping monster to bond with
fur feathers fins etc are all fine
but bonus points if youre horny
my hobbies include long hot baths listening to music released before 1980 and whatever thing im trying right now to see if it sticks
call me!


what do you guys think? too forward? not forward enough?
i feel like the word strapping is a little outdated but like
what other word can you use for that?

anyway tips on ad writing are very appreciated

Comments

text; un: ajc

[sparkofgoodness]

6/10 Not bad, points for honesty on admitting you're horny but bit generic otherwise. I'm guessing you don't care about the gender configurations of your bond-mate? If the fur, feathers and fins are already on the table as fine.

text;

[substances]

you know i totally dig that
no shame in my game

generic thou?
i guess i couldve gone harder speaking of honesty
but i just dont feel like 'homeless recovering junkie who time traveled to nam and lives off twinkies come listen to my stories about the gory ghosts that used to follow me around before i got here' would pull as many responses

and yeah i dont care about gender configurations

[sparkofgoodness]

I'd have gone with that, honestly. Big conversation point, time travel and ghosts.

text; un: styx

[tothemetal]

well this place is kinda old timey
so i think its probably even better if it sounds like super old ??
better to be honest anyway

[substances]

yea it is right?
maybe thats wat monsters like here in old timey fantasy land

what year is it anyway
where you come from i mena

and btw how you doing man?

[tothemetal]

oh
haha shit for a second i thought you meant here !!
cause man i can barely keep up with the months ive got no idea about anything else on this calendar

[Styx, that's...kind of important...]

it was 2020 !

and im doing pretty good dude !
holidays were wild man but it was mostly good stuff
hoping itll be all good stuff nows that its a new year i think ?
even if its not still wanna chase out all the bad shit anyway

un: cherrypit

[polterguide]

I can't tell if you're trying to be funny using "horny" or if you really are propositioning someone.

Also, was there even good music released before 1980?

[substances]

both sorta?
i DO enjoy a good double entendre

um
did you srsly just ask me that

[polterguide]

Well, at least you're honest. Unfortunately I only cover one type of horny, even if I am an unbonded monster.

And yeah. I did.

text; un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

You'll want to be specific about the type of horny that earns bonus points.

[substances]

but i was specific

text; un: Linden Tailor

[hearthebell]

I actually might know a guy.

[substances]

oh hey linden
seriously?

text | un:wwxwashere

[weiward]

hmm it's not bad.

i have a friend who's also an unbonded witch. do you think you could write something for him too? only instead of 'horny' maybe it could be something like...'kind'. i think he's more of a cuddler.

[substances]

ya thats what i thought

oh man
im not sure i can write a holesom one
but i do like cuddling

Text; UN; futureguardian

[geiz]

Are you just messing around?

[substances]

what?!
omg what do you take me for?
im compltely serious

voice;

[galdorleod]

You're not one to waste any time, are you? [ chuckles. ] If you're looking for a long-term bond with, hm... benefits, let's say, there's certainly nothing wrong with just saying so.

But, you can simply go to the Entertainment District if it's mere company you're looking for, you know.

voice;

[substances]

Oh believe you me, I'm gonna be going to the Entertainment District. Someone gave me voucher for a free lapdance from some dude named Zero.

No no no...for real though, seriously, I do actually need a Bond, I've been getting all...twitchy, you know? Like static electricity. Not super pleasant.

text; un: oathkeeper

[twilightskey]

So... you're looking for a bond?

That seems like a weird way of asking for one.

[substances]

oh just pondering a newspaper ad
you know
the good old personals

un: icelander | text

[braidmage]

it's... pretty forward, but there's something to be said for just being honest. if you know what you want, you might as well say so? and if that kind of approach is honest to who you are as a person, it'll weed out anybody who wouldn't be cool with that. so, like, it ends up being helpful.

although i'm not really sure what 'strapping' means in this context...

[substances]

[Well if this isn't the most optimistic person Klaus has ever met.]

that was real deep
thanks for that

oh that?
strapping means like
all thick & muscles but not the type you get in a gym
liek the type you get from working ona farm or being a lumberjack or something
nice & functional
if you get my drift

text; un: nibelung

[sonnestark]

It does seem pretty straightforward.
If you have any really specific wants, it would be worth listing them, but it seems like you're pretty open-minded!
Also, what's wrong with 'strapping?' I hear that all the time, do people not use it anymore where you're from...?

[substances]

openminded is about right
i think strapping is about the only specific want
thouggh w/ the right personality and sutff that doesnt matter either

idk its something my dad wouldve said
so i automatically cringe