text | 001 - Emphatic Welcome

[spaghettimonster]

Name: Papyrus | Username: CoolSkeleton95
Date: Aguril 1st
Format: Text

SO YOU'RE IN A NEW WORLD, LOOKING AT A WATCH,
WONDERING WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF...
WELL!
THE FIRST THING YOU CAN DO, IS READ THIS WELCOME MESSAGE:

HELLO!!!
I HEARD THERE'S MORE PEOPLE POPPING OUT OF MIRRORS TODAY,
AND MAYBE THAT MEANS YOU.
IF IT DOES, WELCOME TO AEFENGLOM!
A HOME AWAY FROM HOME.

YOU MIGHT HEAR SOME DOOM AND GLOOM FROM PEOPLE, ABOUT THE CWYLD, AND THE FULL MOONS...
BUT, ONLY SOME OF IT IS TRUE.
AND THOSE PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS LIKE THE COLOR OF THE SKY, SO WHAT DO THEY KNOW ANYWAY.
THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY WORKING HARD TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE AND HAPPY.
SO, DO YOUR BEST NOT TO WORRY TOO MUCH, AND LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
IF YOU'RE A WITCH, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO ALL KINDS OF MAGIC.
AND IF YOU'RE A MONSTER, THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE MOONS WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU!
AND I GUESS SOME MONSTERS HAVE A KIND OF MAGIC TOO? BUT IT'S NOT -MAGIC- MAGIC.
WHATEVER!!
THE IMPORTANT THING IS, YOU NOW FEEL WELCOMED.
YOU'RE WELCOME!

[If anyone doesn't want to wade through the capslock, let me know and I can drop it when tagging you.]

Comments

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[textsfromhotland]

[Alphys has been frantically poking at the watch, hoping someone would drop a link to the Aefenglom equivalent of Crunchyroll, but alas, it's just a lot of vlogs. Until this post appears, and she immediately zeroes in on that extremely familiar username and oddly optimistic tone.]

PAPYRUS?????

[spaghettimonster]

[Papyrus has been looking forward to new arrivals expressing gratitude and relief about the welcome, not someone expressing surprise that it's him. So this message comes as a bit of a surprise.]

WOW, HOW DID YOU KNOW??
THAT'S A JOKE, IT'S BECAUSE I'M THE COOLEST SKELETON AROUND.

[textsfromhotland]

[OH THANK GOD IT'S SOMEONE SHE KNOWS]

oh my gosh papyrus it IS you

its me alphys!

did you walk through a big magic mirror too?

TEXT

[starseedling]

I feel welcomed and I'm not even new!!

TEXT

[spaghettimonster]

THAT'S FAIR AND APPROPRIATE!
THERE'S SO MUCH WELCOME THAT I'M SURE THERE'S PLENTY FOR YOU TO SPARE.

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[niespodzianka]

THANKS

[ Geralt has never seen a contraption anything even remotely like this before. He's never heard of nor imagined a concept like typing before. Behold, his first exposure. Now he thinks allcaps is what it's supposed to be. ]

text

[spaghettimonster]

YOU'RE WELCOME AGAIN!
AND, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK AWAY.
I MIGHT NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS... BUT SOMEONE MIGHT.
OR THEY MIGHT BE WILLING TO HELP SEARCH FOR THEM.

[Some people will tell him otherwise, and there are other options, but allcaps is the most impressive.]

text

[proficience]

The moons will be important to me, huh? That's what I was beginning to wonder.

text

[spaghettimonster]

IT'S TRUE...
I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE THAT THE MOONS ARE IMPORTANT.
MONSTERS GET A LITTLE BIGGER, HAIRIER, AND MONSTERIER...
AND MAYBE A LITTLE CONFUSED.

TEXT

[shitpit]

[This guy's enthusiasm and optimism is definitely appreciated since there has been a lot of doom and gloom but one thing sticks out to him ( more so than the capslock ):]

It's not so bad here. The locals seem pretty nice and accommodating.

But what can you tell me about monsters having not magic-magic?

TEXT

[spaghettimonster]

IT'S LIKE A SINK.
YOU KNOW HOW WATER FAUCETS SPIT WATER OUT, AND IF THE PIPE IS BROKEN, THE WATER GETS EVERYWHERE...
THAT'S WITCHES.
MONSTERS ARE DRAINS ON SOCIETY, IN A GOOD WAY.
WE PULL IT IN WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING, SO NOBODY HAS TO EXPLODE.
SOME MONSTERS CAN SING OR MAKE ILLUSIONS, BUT I HAVEN'T UNEARTHED ANY MAGIC I CAN DO...
AND BELIEVE ME, I KNOW HOW TO DO MAGIC!

text

[rightfoot]

Is your keyboard broken?

I appreciate the warm welcome, but...are you okay?


[ ooc: capslock is fine. louis' just a brat like this. ]

text - I understand and welcome the IC commentary on it

[spaghettimonster]

MY KEYBOARD AND MY SPIRIT ARE GOING STRONG!
I JUST THINK THE LARGER LETTERS LOOK BETTER.

[They're so orderly, all the same height.]

text;

[lonewanderer]

this was very nice of you, papyrus

text

[spaghettimonster]

IT WAS, WASN'T IT??
AFTER NOBODY SHOWED UP LAST MONTH, I ALMOST THOUGHT NOBODY ELSE WOULD FALL IN A MIRROR...
GUESS I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED THOSE DREAMS A LITTLE MORE.

voice;

[loadme]

I never understood why they were so afraid of the red skies. I thought they were very pretty.

voice

[spaghettimonster]

Yeah, right?? It was pretty - a colorful feast for the eyes! But they got all superstitious about it.

[It made a little more sense for the sailors to be spooked, with all those sayings about red sky warnings. But the landlocked people in the city had no such reason to be worried about the weather.]

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[anotheroldsoldier]

You shouldn't tell people to ignore information about the Cwyld or the effects of the lunar cycle, or have them brushing that stuff off as "doom and gloom". You're going to get some poor sap hurt or worse.

[Oh look it's Captain Killjoy.]

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[spaghettimonster]

WELL! IF YOU KNOW SO MUCH!
HOW ABOUT YOU...
HELP EVERYONE OUT, BY REMINDING US OF THE REAL DANGERS?

[As much as Papyrus wishes he didn't, Captain Killjoy has a point.]

AND NOT THE ONES LIKE 'THE SKY IS RED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED'.
THAT WAS JUST SILLY.

text;

[ragefield]

Is this some kind of joke?

[He still hasn't fully gotten used to everything he's been told.]

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[spaghettimonster]

[It's a lot to take in.]

NO, THIS IS AN EMPHATIC AND SINCERE WELCOME.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS OBVIOUS, I SAID WELCOME LIKE FIVE TIMES.
WHICH PART SEEMS LIKE A JOKE??

speech-to-text; un: endlesspossibilibees

[faithlikeaseed]

Thank you I feel very welcome but why are you shouting and how do we know if something has the Quilled if we can't see it seeing as someone thought we should be warned not to touch it

[someone please explain to him how to get punctuation in there]

text - oh nooo, does the text-to-speech convert Papyrus' words into shouting?

[spaghettimonster]

I'M SHOUTING TO EVEN MORE LOUDLY WELCOME EVERYONE.
AND NEVERMIND THE PART WHERE I TOLD SOMEONE EARLIER THAT I'M NOT SHOUTING.
AS FOR THE SIGNS OF THE CWYLD...
WELL, I MEAN, YOU CAN SEE IT.

[The run-on sentence has tripped him up enough not to realize that Myrobalan means he, himself, doesn't see. But Papyrus has seen a few people experimenting with the medium so far, and can put up with the no-punctuation for a bit longer.]

IT'S STRANGELY PERSISTENT SHADOWS, IF SHADOWS WERE BRUISES.
STICKING ON PEOPLE AND SPREADING.
IF YOU -GET- INFECTED, BELIEVE ME, YOU'LL NOTICE IT.
IT COMES WITH A SCARY, INSATIABLE HUNGER.

Text; un: RunningScams

[runningscams]

You have a gift for public announcements, pal.

text

[spaghettimonster]

DO YOU THINK SO??
MAYBE I'VE FOUND MY CALLING!
AND I ONLY HAD TO GO TO ANOTHER WORLD TO FIND IT...
NYEH HEH HEH.