(no subject)

[chiastic]

Name: un: PXW
Date: Feb 13
Format: Text

[Anyway.]

WANTED-- Lodging in a respectable rooming or boarding house, with a strong desire for the latter. The following accommodations must be met: No animals kept indoors; No children; No fellow tenants who might be susceptible to the vices of liquor, betting, or marriage. The room must be clean, quiet, private, and immediately available. A locking door is most preferable.

Prospective tenant is an educated man of science accustomed to long hours, with little taste for parlor games.

Make your reply here. References to be waived for the sake of expediency and convenience ONLY, and may be requested upon inspection of the premises.

Comments

un: saber

[arturiarex]

I am still residing in the barracks; perhaps that might be of interest? They are admittedly spartan, but they suffice for my needs.

[chiastic]

Are there any pets being kept there?

un: gioia.

[trouvaille]

( several sepia toned pictures: the chaos after warthrop smashed everything in the kitchen, the general unfortunate state of his bedroom before she took the bed out back to be burned- )

I would strongly recommend not housing him in anything you intend to be fit for anyone else's cohabitation.

[chiastic]

[Some men might discreetly ignore all of this and allow it to simply float by, unacknowledged and made gently irrelevant for it. But YOLO.]

You will note that the advertisement as posted requires PRIVACY.

[God help him, if only he knew how to underline on a magic watch.]

[hippocarnival]

WHOA

im sorry that looks terrible

un: jack

[momental]

I'm surprised your last accommodations lasted as long as they did.

[chiastic]

And I am surprised to find you have yet to disappear into some convenient crack in a wall. It seems we are all of us operating admirably in such profound states of astonishment.

[Someone woke up on the wrong side of the existential dread hovel.]

video; un: reddeer

[rightfoot]

[ Leans into the camera. ]

Good luck to you. Maybe you should consider getting your own home and not subjecting others to you.

[chiastic]

[Talking deer.]

[chiastic]

A private residence would be most acceptable.

video; (un: aragaki)

[hoboagogo]

[Keen eyed viewers may notice that what's visible of the room behind him looks suspiciously similar to where Louis the Talking Deer is. Anyway, have a man who is clearly half goat.]

...Okay, but half the people here are animals. Or at least partway there.

[chiastic]

[Sounds like a personal problem.]

I should hope you understand that there must be an innate difference between yourself and a pet cat.

text | un: voidgear

[darkcharge]

Well that rules out half of the population and specifically Turnskins.

[chiastic]

Yes.

text | un: ven

[callmeven]

are you allergic to animals?

[chiastic]

No.

Un: Yuya

[hippocarnival]

theres apartments in the haven that are free for mirrorbound

theyre not big so theyre easy to take care of and you can live alone

maybe thatd be best?

[chiastic]

I have no doubt that is where I will eventually reside once I am reasonably able to do so. Unfortunately, it is currently impossible.

un: sephiroth

[supersoldier]

An educated man of science. Can you expand on that?

[chiastic]

[FINALLY. Some decency.]

I am a doctor of the study of aberrant biology. I studied for under the tutelage of the very finest of the field and have been practicing independently for over a decade, having acquitted myself first at the colleges of Vienna and having traveled extensively in South America, Africa, and the far East. I have written a series of papers which you will not have read, am a foremost member of our Society, and a practiced forensic biologist.

Would you like me to expand further, or will that do?

un: taru

[seemstressed]

How exactly is marriage a vice?

[chiastic]

It is a distraction in the same vein as any other loud carousing brought upon by excessive indulgence or the loss of money. I do not wish to be subject to either the bickering or the bliss of others' marital life in my own.

text | un: wangxian

[taciturnly]

Have you perhaps considered constructing your own abode?

[chiastic]

No.

text; (network name: "Stiles")

[mensrea]

You sound like a real party, dude. But yeah, I do know a place like that if you’re still looking. They definitely don’t allow pets or kids, though I haven’t met the other tenants so I can’t vouch for them. You’ll have to vet them yourself.

[chiastic]

I thank you for your time, but the question appears to be resolved.

You are welcome to provide the address and the name of the master of the house here should anyone else in similar straights be reviewing this.