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Name: un: errantry
Date: Feb. 11th
Format: Text

I honestly haven't been using this blasted watch as much as perhaps I should have. It just never seemed important.

But I have received some advice from someone and I suppose I am now putting it into practice, despite my trepidation.

My bonded left or vanished early last month. Or the month before; I can't quite remember. I managed the last full moon well enough, but I know from experience that it's just going to get worse or at least more difficult. And more to the point, I'm feeling horrendously lonely as of late.

So I'm looking for friends and companions, I suppose, with the potential to eventually form a bond. Not the most romantic thing I've ever done, but this place isn't all that romantic to begin with, is it?

Still not used to this whole "mortal" thing, though.

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[ Oh man. This is awkward. So awkward. Asahi's feelings on the other are still.. complicated? That's probably the best word for it. But it's not like she really dislikes Iramaat, not enough to completely ignore this message. ]

hey
uh
i'm not so sure about the bonding part but if you need company we could at least hang out i guess

[ Oh, she recognizes this username. ]

That would be darling of you, Asahi.

I think I'd enjoy that. I'm still letting my leg heal, but something with less walking would probably do just fine.

i know some good cafes
there's probably one near where you live

[ There's a slight pause where she's typing but no message appears yet, but then.. ]

are you badly hurt?

[ At least it's a lot easier to hide embarrassing worrying across text, thank god. ]

A cafe sounds lovely.

[ There's a pause on her end. ]

They broke my leg.

I'm mending.

[ Well, there's definitely no way she can just leave Iramaat hanging out by herself after that. Asahi feels bad even just thinking back on that situation, the way the people she saved looked. Had Iramaat also been treated that way? ]

okay
just let me know around where you live
i promise to find some place nearby so you don't have to go far while you're like that
also it's my treat
the drinks i mean

[ Iramaat has a hard time talking about it or thinking about it. She's supposed to be the rescuer, not the rescuee. She's supposed to be the hero. Nothing bad happens to her.

Until it did and now she's trying to cope with being tortured and imprisoned and powerless. ]

Asahi.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your kindness to me.

I expect I'll be up and about again soon, though! And then the Cwyld should watch out for me.

hey don't be an idiot and go out so fast after recovering!!!
you'll just be asking to get hurt all over again!!

[ Witness Asahi "clearly not worrying except obviously worrying" Yuki in action. ]

especially while you don't have a bond

I'm a heroine, Asahi, it's what I do. If I cannot be doing my best, what good am I?

[ She might be internalizing that a bit harder than normal these days. ]

I'm sure I'll find someone. I won't be left grasping at straws for long. Hopefully. I'd hate to be bonded out of pity, but... well. It may come to that.

screw being a heroine!!
this place messes with all of us
who we are back home or what we do back there doesn't really matter here
what's important is just focusing on ourselves and making sure we're okay so we can go home safe in the end
it's not like this world cares for us anyway

Asahi, you really are a marvel.

It's in my nature; my very being. If I stopped, what would I be? Nothing. That's the sad truth of it.

that's not true
there's no way people can only be one thing

[ Usually this kind of spiel would be way too idealistic. It sounds like something her super positive and cute best friend might have told her back home - not something Asahi herself would say.

But dangit, if there's no Koyuki around, then she's got to pick up the slack and be the Koyuki in this situation. ]

people change all the time that's only natural
i mean my nature is being a human being i feel like and yet here i am walking around with huge wings and feathers
even if you stop being a heroine you can just be a new you

[ Iramaat has had a very similar conversation before. She sasid she'd try, but for a creature who has spent her whole existence being one thing and one thing only, it is hard to break old habits and modes of thought. ]

I was created to be what I am. It's what I was formed to be. How can a human understand that? You are such short-lived, flickering creatures, moving from one flower to another like a mayfly.

And now I am one of those mayflies. It's not easy.

[ She's feeling sorry for herself again. ]

or maybe i CAN understand since i'm stuck in this dumb place without the one thing that literally defined my entire life and my personality and my worries and my relationships with other people you big dumb idiot!!!
we're ALL having a hard time
we're all trying to adjust!!!
it doesn't matter whether you're human or whatever you might have been back home

It's different.

[ she's being stubborn. And mopey. ]

You always knew you were going to die! Do you know how often I've had to stare at the ceiling and contemplate that over the last few months?

why wouldn't you die

[ Is Iramaat a god or something where she comes from? Asahi feels kind of sorry for the people who'd have to deal with that.. ]

Fae do not die or age. We're eternal.

[ Or close enough to it, anyway. ]

fae???
you mean the same kind as some people in this place are turning into??

Different. Sort of similar in some respects? But very different.

well
even then you're not the only one
i heard from people before who are witches here but had their own magic back home but can't use that anymore either
do you think they're all just clinging to the past too??
everyone is trying to make this work

That's not the same, is it?

[ She really needs to stop being so self-centered. ]

Yes, everyone's struggling, but almost everyone else is used to this sort of thing. And now I've been left to handle it all by myself!

Although you've stepped up and I am so very grateful for your company.

they might be used to the idea of dying one day, but they're unused to other stuff [ Asahi is the complete opposite - hesitant to make things all about herself unless she's already yelling about it and can't stop herself in an emotional fit.

But it does apply to her, even if she doesn't say as much in words. Monsters. Transforming. Magic. People getting tortured. She still doesn't feel used to any of it, even now. ]

if you really see yourself as a heroine, then pay attention to the people you're trying to be a hero for
or there's no point in being a hero at all

Being a hero is an end to itself.

[ Well, she thinks so, anyway. ]

Why else would you be one?

[ That idea is so completely opposite to the idea of heroes that Asahi has that she just stares at the words for a moment. Completely baffled. ]

what do you think being a hero is???

What do YOU think it is?

[ Two can play at this game. ]

a hero saves people of course

[ At least Asahi seems to have no problem answering that question. Maybe since she believes in it so strongly, despite heroes just being a thing from stories. ]

that's practically the most important thing about them

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