text

[darkcharge]

Name: Vanitas
Date: 11/2
Format: Text

As so many people ask questions, advertise, or whatever on this thing I figure I have nothing to lose doing the same.

You see I have a particular problem. A pest problem. I'm looking for creative ways to rid myself of this little bug that seems super intent on sticking around. Normally I wouldn't bother with something like this but my usual methods of getting rid of unwanted things?

Well. It's not working.

Comments

[lightblooming]

What are you up to?

[darkcharge]

That's not a very nice assumption to make, Master Aqua. Who said I was up to anything?
Here I am just trying to be a "good boy."

[lightblooming]

Someone who's nothing but Darkness isn't interested in doing what's right.

[doctorheartstealer]

Kill it.

[darkcharge]

I've tried that. No matter how many times I step on it, this thing just bounces back and trails after me.

[doctorheartstealer]

...

is this thing someone who decided to call themselves your friend without permission?

Text

[psychotronics]

Call me crazy, but I get the sense we're not talking about a literal bug here.

Text

[darkcharge]

Oh he's quite a bug all right.
Small. Fragile. Soft, squishy insides.
Uncaring of the territory he meanders into.

[psychotronics]

'He'. Right.

Just out of curiosity, what *are* your "usual methods of getting rid of unwanted things"?

[firewalled]

what exactly have you tried to get rid of them?

[Rich is Suspicious that this person isn't referring to an actual bug, but he has asking questions will clear that up pretty quickly.]

[darkcharge]

[ In no way is he referring to an actual bug. But he doesn't care if people think that or not really. ]

Honestly I gave him a bloody nose first. Then I tried to avoid him at all costs. The idiot just keeps trying.
And I keep telling him to go away. He doesn't.

[firewalled]

[Okay, yeah, definitely not a bug. Rich frowns and considers how best to proceed.]

okay but why does he keep trying?
maybe you need to ask why he wants to be your friend so bad
maybe you need to set him straight on something hes got wrong about you

[endsought]

I am presuming your pest problem deals with an actual person as opposed to something non-humanoid. Is this correct?

[darkcharge]

Well he's varying degrees of "person," but yes. I'm not talking about an actual insect or rodent.

[endsought]

May I ask why such a person is considered a pest? I can only believe this is due to the fact that someone is not leaving you alone in regards to something. Perhaps such an avenue will work, however, I am not entirely certain this is the correct way to go about it.

Though given you have come to this, I would wholly imagine that 'speaking to them' is not viable since I would hope you have done that first.

[Here's your unwanted dad advice...]

[scatmaam]

Well first of all, you should probably work on veiling your intentions a little better.

[darkcharge]

Wasn't trying to "veil my intentions" at all.

[scatmaam]

Then say what you mean and leave the needless metaphors behind. There's your first weakness. If you intend to rid yourself of a person, do not approach your problem like a coward. Name it.

[curruid_coinchenn]

if you're asking what's the easiest way to get rid of someone, it's murder. i have a feeling that's not the answer you're looking for, though.

[scatmaam]

This is that deeply petty man I mentioned before, and if anyone comes as close to being as much of an expert on dealing death as I am, it's certainly him.

He's also probably spent an exceptional amount of time figuring out how to rid himself of another himself. He'll steer you right.

[darkcharge]

[ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. ]

Getting rid of another himself what.

[thejoyrider]

I think it just wants to be your friend! Have you tried talking to it?

[Marie, on the other hand, is pretty convinced it is a literal insect he is talking about. This does not mean she is going to condone violence... without making sure it is deserved]

[darkcharge]

I did talk to it and it does want to be friends.
But I have no interest in making any.

text, un: CoolSkeleton95 - a couple hours later

[spaghettimonster]

[Boy, can Papyrus relate to the pest problem, even and maybe especially with confirmations that the pest in question is a person. Even if almost every detail of the situation is different, from what he reads.]

I'VE READ AND REREAD YOUR ACCOUNT...
AND IT SEEMS TO ME, THE PROBLEM IS...
HE KEEPS TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU IN HIS WAY. INSTEAD OF BEING FRIENDS IN YOURS?
WHICH, WOW! HOW INCONSIDERATE CAN HE BE?
NO WONDER YOU'RE REJECTING HIS FRIENDSHIP ENERGIES.
HE SHOULD TRY CONNECTING TO YOU ABOUT THINGS YOU LIKE.
MAYBE A GOOD NO HOLDS BARRED SPAR, WHERE YOU YELL AT EACH OTHER, WOULD DO THE TRICK?

text, lol pap

[darkcharge]

In a sense you're not wrong, I suppose. I don't want his friendship. Friends aren't something that I need.
He believes that this is the key to "making things right" when this won't work because we were never friends in the first place.
We were once one singular person.
Friendship won't fix a broken existence. It won't make two halves whole.
A bond would connect us, but it would only be more of the same - a connection that pales in comparison to being COMPLETE.
Who knows though. Maybe we will spar and I'll beat him into the dirt since words don't seem to work.